COLUMBIA HAIKU

Four years of hell on Morningside Heights. Some kids never came back. I survived. This is my story. Please comment nicely!

Columbia ghosts,

All the kids who killed themselves

Still walk the campus

Columbia bugs,

Roaches in every dorm room,

They know they belong.

Columbia booze,

You can get drunk every night,

And nobody cares.

Columbia nights,

All alone in your dorm room,

You and the roaches.

Columbia crypt,

Great scholars look like corpses,

Cut loose from the morgue.

Columbia jocks,

Acting like they own the world,

Lions lose again!

Columbia crime,

Don't ever leave the campus

Try not to get mugged.

Columbia dirt,

The tunnels beneath John Jay,

Crawling with filth.

Columbia smiles,

We value your potential,

But don't ask for help.

Columbia skills,

Reading Homer and Shakespeare,

Won't land you a job.

Columbia cares,

If you've got trouble at home.

That's not our problem.

Columbia grades,

You can work hard or slack off,

Still nobody cares.

Columbia cries,

After a kid kills himself,

The Dean says "sorry."