KING FOR KAMALA

This is an email that landed in my spam folder early this morning. Please comment nicely!

Dear Random Email Address:

My name is Stephen King, and I write horror novels about dead animals coming back to life and circus clowns ripping children's guts out. I want you to vote for Kamala Harris because I believe Donald Trump is evil and insane.

Donald Trump is not qualified to be President of the United States. He is vulgar and stupid, just like my big fat books and all the wonderful stupid people who read them. My books are full of monsters, but Trump is a monster for real. He makes up weird stories and channels the misplaced anger of poor, stupid people to make himself rich and famous.

I hate guys like that!

When I was a kid monsters were classy foreigners like Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Mummy. Horror had class in those days. But I changed the rules. I proved that any slob could write horror. Now Donald Trump is trying to prove that any slob can be President of the United States. We've got to stop him! Donald Trump only cares about the rich. Millions of poor people are voting for him, but that's only because poor people are stupid. Believe me, I know.

Donald Trump is evil. He's a monster and his followers are slobs. Don't be a monster. Don't be a slob. Vote for Kamala Harris!

Your friend,

Stephen King

The Incredibly Rich and Famous Writer