31 Troubling thoughts
Atem's heart was in his throat as he slammed the door of his soul room behind him. With swift steps, he walked to the center of the room. Then, suddenly, he dropped to his knees, leaning on his throne, panting as if he had been sprinting for quite some time. He lifted his head and looked over his shoulder, but the door remained shut. Silence surrounded him... Apart from him, no soul was in the room. And still, it felt as if the walls were constantly echoing his dear Aibou's words.
"I will do it! I will challenge Moitori no boku in the ceremonial duel! It is my task and responsibility!"
He stared at his hand for a long moment, listening to his rapid heartbeat. Then, he pressed his fingers together and struck the seat of his throne several times. The pain shot through his fist, but his thoughts and heart remained in turmoil.
"Grip yourself together. You are a pharaoh. This is not how you should behave when you are facing a challenge!" he muttered.
He looked around, relieved that he was alone in the privacy of his soul room. He didn't want anyone to see him in such a state, especially his dear partner, who had so bravely and nobly taken on the responsibility of becoming his challenger. It was an honor that his Aibou had decided to take this on, and Atem knew he couldn't afford to fall apart. He had to prepare himself for this great challenge. His partner deserved nothing less than his very best.
Taking a deep breath, Atem straightened his back. Slowly, he raised himself, turned around, and sat on his throne, just as a ruler should. He remained still, listening to the silence of the room. Then, after a long minute, his posture changed. He dropped his head onto his chest and buried his temple in the palm of his hand. He gripped his blonde locks and breathed heavily. Suddenly, he tasted blood in his mouth, realising he had been biting his lips too hard.
"Holy Gods and Spirits!" he whispered. He realised that instant that he should be thankful that he had managed to keep his composure in front of his partner. He hoped that he had given his Aibou a proud smile before he quickly vanished and returned back to his soul room.
He felt so ashamed of himself. Why was he shaking like a leaf? Why couldn't he keep a cool head like always? This wasn't the first time the stakes had been high—he and his Aibou had faced countless life-threatening situations and enemies. And they had conquered all of them together. Yet, now, Aibou's words haunted him…
"I will do it…"
Yes, those words. He heard the determination in them, the certainty of his decision. "And why wouldn't his dear partner be certain?" he thought with a kind smile. Even if Yugi didn't yet realize it, he had always been a true duelist: kind, selfless, noble in heart, quick-witted, and brave. It was clear that his decision to challenge him came from a place of pure intentions. Yugi would give his best without any regrets. It was an honor to be challenged by such a person.
But Atem had cold feet. For the first time in his life, he was afraid of the consequences. If he lost the duel, he would never be able to speak to his Aibou again, never see him again. Atem felt his tears fall freely now. If he lost, he'd have to go forward… but where? Would he die if he lost? He felt deep down that he might, because, though he couldn't fully remember, he must have died when fought again the mighty demon Zork and sealed him away.
His tears stopped as he looked around his soul room. The room was half-lit, and at that moment, he realised something important. Could it be?
He stood up without hesitation and walked to the walls. Before, they had been dark and barren. But now, golden hieroglyphs gleamed brightly, telling the story that Zork's game had revealed to him. That was not all. The majority of the walls remained in shadow, and nothing was written on them. Atem knew now for sure: what he had learned was only a fragment of his past.
He touched the hieroglyphs and focused, hoping the walls would reveal the missing memories. His third eye appeared briefly, but no more writing emerged. He touched the cartouche around his neck, a gift from Anzu, and wondered if it might hold the answers. His name was written on it, and at first, that was all he thought he needed. But now, it wasn't enough anymore.
"I know only part of my past," he thought. "I need to find my lost memories. I need to tell this my aibou and together we need to search those first. This duel can wait."
But when he reached for the door to leave, it didn't open. For the first time, the door of his soul room wouldn't obey his will. He pulled the handle with more force, but it was stuck. He smiled grimly, placing his hand on the door and using magic to open it. To his surprise, it clicked, unlocking. Atem grasped the handle again, but instantly, he heard a sound from the other side, as though someone had locked it from the outside. He stepped back, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
Then he smiled again, placed his hand on the door, and used a different spell. The door vanished, but to his surprise, another door appeared in its place. And now Atem was sure that his suspicion was right.
"Alright," he said, his voice firm. "Let's be clear. This is my soul room, and I will leave it when I choose." He glanced toward the door. "Whoever you are, move aside, or you will face my wrath if you try to stop me from speaking to my Aibou or finding my memories."
He then felt warmth in his chest near his heart. Looking down, he gasped. The cartouche was glowing! He took it from his neck, staring at it in awe. His name had vanished. Then the cartouche became warm again, and glowing letters appeared, one by one.
"My honored Pharaoh…"
Then the words disappeared, and new ones appeared.
"Please forgive me…
I do not want to anger you…
But due to the rules of the ceremonial duel…
The participants cannot see, speak, or contact each other before the duel…
Unless your other half chooses to return to his soul room and you use his body as a vessel, you cannot leave this room."
Atem frowned. "Who are you? What do you want from me?"
"I am the guarding spirit…"
"Responsible for ensuring the rules of the ceremonial duel are maintained…"
Atem laughed out loud. "Suspicious, aren't you? Who are you really? I demand your name."
"I cannot reveal my name…
Even if I did, you wouldn't be able to hear it.
It's not because I don't want you to know me…
It's because it's my punishment that you cannot know who I truly am."
Atem raised an eyebrow. "Punishment? What did you do?"
"I cannot tell you exactly what I did,
but I am ashamed to admit it that the worst crime possible."
"Against me?" Atem asked sharply.
For a long moment, there was silence. Then glowing letters appeared on the cartouche again.
"Yes, you can say that it was against you and others who were important in my life…
I deserve my punishment…"
Atem sneered. "You've committed a crime against me and many others, and you want me to trust you? What are you exactly? Some demon who tries to deceive me?"
"I know it is hard to trust if I cannot reveal much about me…But I can assure you…
that I am not a demon…
I am, in fact, I can say I am quite the opposite
I am your guardian angel and your shinigami."
Atem's eyes widened. "My guardian angel? My angel of death?" He took a step back. "What do you want from me?"
"I would like to protect you from any harm, guide you to the right is my mission…
I have followed you during your journey.I could not communicate with you before, but now the time has come."
Atem's eyes narrowed. "Why now?"
"Before you face your greatest challenge, there is another one to overcome."
"That's enough! I don't have time for more challenges. I need to talk to my partner and find my memories."
"That is the last challenge…
You must regain them…"
"But why a challenge? They belong to me!" Atem snapped.
"These memories were sealed for a good reason
Because they were too painful…"
Atem shook his head, confused. "You are wrong. I have seen my most painful memories during my last challenge. And now we are at it…Why did I not get back all my memories that time?"
"These ones were dangerous for you to get back until you were ready.
So these memories had to be hidden…"
"Dangerous in what way?"
There was again silence for some time but finally the cartouche showed the golden letters.
"You had a chance to become a demon…
if you relieved them earlier they might have crushed your soul
and I could not have saved you…
Atem's fists clenched. "I would never have become a demon! How dare you say that about me!" He glared at the cartouche. "Who did this? Who sealed my memories? Is this some trick to make me doubt myself? Is this some evil plan of my uncle or Zork?"
"You will get the answers for your questions in your memories...I am not trying to deceive you…
I want to protect you. You were always the most special to me."
Atem closed his eyes, and for the first time, he felt the weight of these words. Could he trust this spirit or angel? Despite the doubts, one thing was certain: someone had sealed away his memories. And if this spirit was telling the truth, now was the time to face them, no matter how painful they might be.
"I trust you," he said, his voice low but resolute. "But if it turns out that you want to betray me, you'll regret it."
"I thank you for your trust. I know that it must be hard to give it to me because you cannot know for sure who I am
But I assure you that you have nothing to fear from me…but you need to know one thing: if you relive these memories you will be changed forever, for the better or for the worst...but I do not want you to fear...
I know you are ready now...I believe that everything will be alright. I love you and I trust you that you will conquer this challenge..."
The cartouche began to glow again, and new letters appeared.
"The time has come to release your memories...
"Please stand before the Wadjet of Ra…"
Atem turned to face the ancient eye, the Wadjet of Ra, on the wall behind his throne. He stood tall, heart racing. Yes, this was the moment of truth.
"Hold up the cartouche…
So that the Wadjet of Ra can light it…
Then read the name that appears on the cartouche…"
As soon as Atem held up the cartouche, both the cartouche and the Wadjet of Ra began to glow. The light from the eye moved toward the cartouche, and a magical connection was formed between them. Atem felt the energy building, and for a moment he saw that the wadjet of Horus appeared on the cartouche. Then a word glittered on the necklace, and he whispered a long forgotten name, "Yuna."
The light spread across the room, and everything before him began to dissolve.
Translation of the words:
Aibou – partner
Moitori no boku – other me
Shinigami – angel of death
Wadjet of Ra – eye of Ra
Wadjet of Horus – eye of Horus
Disclaimers:
- Yu-Gi-Oh! and its characters belongs to Kazuki Takahashi
- This story is my product, and even though I try to follow the story of the manga I might have made some alternations.
- The avatar is not my work, I found it on pinterest at: pin/507147608010770878
-The story is mainly set in ancient Egypt, but the world is mainly fictional and might not be historically accurate.
- I try to balance my work-life so it can take some time to update the story.