To Disobey
by Reka, who is NOT going to kill herself so don't email asking what's wrong because I'M FINE.

I think I've come to terms
with the small fact that
you don't care.

I don't care.
There will always be
somewhere better.

If not this world,
the next.

I've heard it's perfect;
quiet, peaceful...

We human beings are born
with an instinct to survive
and also the mind
to disobey that instinct
if we so desire.

I choose to disobey.
I choose the peace,
the quiet,
the nothing.

But it hurts.

Oh god, it hurts.