THE WRONG KIND OF WOMAN: An Alternative Love Story

"Alright, alright!" Ellen clumped over to the car whose horn had been honking persistently for the past ten minutes. Didn't they know that she was busy? She wiped her oil stained hands onto her overalls and peered through the car window.

"Yeah, what is it?" She snapped and then quickly exchanged her frown for a dashing grin when she saw who the driver was.

"Well, hi there..." She raised her eyebrow at him. He was slim, slightly tanned and dressed in a delicate silk shirt. Ellen also noted that he had the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen; soft pools of emerald. He shyly smiled back at Ellen and rolled the window down.

"Um... I was wondering if you could help me?" He said, nervously twisting a strand of hair around his finger.

"Sure, what's the problem, honey?" Ellen leaned forwards casually.

"Well I accidentally bumped into a wall and ever since there's been a strange cluttering noise in the engine."

"Geez... men drivers these days. They shouldn't be allowed on the roads," Ellen joked, flashing the man her most charming grin. The man giggled, his face flushing.

"Okay... I'll go take a look," Ellen pulled her hair back into an elastic band and waited as the man gracefully stepped out of the car, stretching his long, shapely legs in the process. He pulled a dainty mirror out of his coat pocket and examined his reflection.

"Oooh I must look awful to you. You see, I missed my facial this afternoon to come here," he frowned unhappily. Ellen thought his pretty little pout was adorable.

The man watched meekly in the corner as Ellen began clattering about underneath the car. He was instantly attracted to this handsome, athletic looking woman, but he was foolish to think she'd ever feel the same way. Besides, he didn't even know her.

"So, did you find out what was wrong?" The man asked, slightly embarrassed that he had almost destroyed his car again.

"Nothing I can't fix, babe," Ellen winked at him.

"Babe? I do have a name," the man said in mock annoyance.

"And what would that be?"

"Michael."

"Michael, that's a pretty name for a pretty guy," Ellen laughed. Michael blushed. Was she flirting with him?

"Do you live locally?" Ellen asked, her warm, brown eyes staring directly at Michael.

"Yes. Do you know Fern Hill?"

"Ahhh the posh side of town. Yeah I know it, so you'll be going to the carnival then?"

"I'm not sure. I wasn't planning on going... You?"

"Yeah... It's the town's biggest event of the year! You should go... Hey you might see me. That's if you can make it there without crashing your car again!"

"Uh... OK... I might meet you there then... Maybe..." Michael smiled sweetly at Ellen.

"How about before then?" Ellen asked.

"What do you mean?" Michael was puzzled. Was this extremely good-looking girl asking him out?

"How about I take you out to dinner tomorrow night. As an apology for making you wait so long?"

Michael melted with joy. Yes, she really was asking him out.

"But I don't even know you" Michael pointed out

"Yeah but you can get to know me," Ellen smoothly placed a hand on Michael's shoulder. Michael shivered.

"…Alright then. I would love to"

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven-thirty. Don't be late, I know what you men are like getting ready – everything's gotta be perfect" Ellen smiled, crinkles formed at the side of her eyes.

Michael smiled nervously. He didn't understand what this woman would ever see in him but it was time to seize the day and start dating again. He wrote down his number and address on the back of a tissue, said his goodbyes and headed back to his car.

Ellen was late. Maybe she's not coming, Michael panicked, checking his watch. He smothered out his top – a new fitted shirt that showed off his sleek figure. He had bought it for this occasion as he had wanted to look his best. It had been a long time since Michael had been on the dating scene again.

As soon as he had left the garage that day he had instantly driven to his friend Alistair's house to discuss the day's events and to seek his advice.

"But it's been so long since I've dated that I've forgotten how to act" Michael had whined, his head whirling with worry.

"Michael", Alistair rolled his eyes, "it's like riding a bike – you never forget. I have an idea! How about you come around to my house before she picks you up and we'll decide what you can wear and how to do your hair and stuff."

"Ooo I don't know," Michael fretted, "What if she doesn't show up? What if I drink too much? What if I get food in my teeth? What if I can't understand the menu? What if-"

"MICHAEL, repeat after me, it will be fine!" Alistair interrupted him, "not all women are like Tanya, you know. I know that she hurt you badly but you've got to move on. Everything will be okay, besides, it's only a date, it's not like you're getting married."

Michael sniffed, "but I miss Tanya".

Alistair groaned, "I know honey, but she was a cheating scumbag. Maybe this Ellen girl will be much better for you. You never know, it may be the start of a beautiful romance."

"… You're right" Michael said, more determined, "I'm worth more then what Tanya made me out to be. Why the hell should I stay in every night eating chocolate and listening to Celine Dion when I could be out there having fun?"

"Yeah!" Alistair chimed in, "you go guy!"

"I'm gonna meet Ellen, have dinner and have a fantastic time without thinking of Tanya once!"

"Yeah!" Alistair cheered again.

And with that, Michael decided that he was ready to date again. Or so he had thought. Ellen still hadn't turned up and ten minutes had passed since the last time he checked. I thought it was too good to be true, Michael gazed mournfully out of the window.

He was just about to slump on the sofa and watch Coronation Street when a loud knock sounded at the door. Michael's heart leapt as he rushed to open it. It was Ellen!

"Hi, sorry I'm late," Ellen kissed him on the cheek, "got caught up in traffic, there's a huge tailback on Sunset Road – nightmare! Anyway, don't you look gorgeous."

"Thanks," Michael grinned like a fool.

"So, are you ready to go? I thought we might go to Fabio's, it's a nice Italian restaurant down by the High Street."

"That sounds wonderful," Michael smiled dreamily as Ellen escorted him to her car.

The dinner was marvellous, Michael was in his element; excellent food, excellent service, exceptionally excellent company. Michael had to admit that he was smitten with Ellen. She was everything a guy could want; generous, good-looking, funny, strong. It was like a dream come true.

At the end of dinner Ellen drove Michael home. They stood awkwardly on Michael's doorstep, wondering how best to say goodbye.

"So…" Ellen shuffled her feet.

"So…" Michael focused on the glass pane in his door as if it was the most interesting thing that he had ever seen. Anything to avoid looking into Ellen's warm, inviting eyes.

"So…" Ellen started again, "Well it's been fun. We'll have to do this again sometime. I'll see you around, maybe at the carnival?"

"Yes. I'll be there. Well, goodnight," Michael turned and put his key in the door but Ellen grabbed his hand.

"I'll call you," Ellen clasped Michael's hand and kissed it. Michael blushed – it was becoming a habit for him.

"Okay," Michael sighed dreamily and entered the house. As he shut the door behind him he leant against it and smiled. He hadn't felt like this for so long, not since Tanya… No, he shouldn't think about Tanya, it'd only ruin his magnificent evening.

Michael climbed the stairs to bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and dreamt sweet dreams of Ellen.

"So, what did you talk about? Did you kiss her? Do you know if she likes you?" Alistair quizzed Michael as soon as he reached the table. They had agreed to meet for morning coffee in Starbucks. Michael had a lot to tell.

"Calm down," Michael grinned, "like you said, it was only a date!"

"Yeah, yeah, so what happened? C'mon, tell me!" Alistair continued with his interrogation.

"Okay. So we went to Fabio's –"

"Ooo fancy. Did she pay?"

"Alistair!" Michael playfully scolded his friend, "yes she did. And no we didn't kiss –"

"Why not? Did you do something stupid? You didn't talk about Tanya did you?"

"ALISTAIR! No I didn't. And we didn't kiss because I think we were both too nervous or whatever. Anyway I don't know if she likes me or not. She said she'd call me but I haven't heard anything yet and it's been two days."

"Yeah but in girl time it usually takes them about four days to get themselves together, you know what they're like," Alistair reassured him.

"I suppose. Anyway, she said she'll be at the carnival tomorrow."

"Great! That gives us plenty of time for us to choose you the perfect outfit. I wonder if she has another cute friend for me," Alistair giggled.

"I'm really nervous. What if she's not there?"

"Oh she will be because – " Alistair stopped mid-sentence, a look of shock on his face, "you will never guess who just walked in."

"Who? Ellen?" Michael craned his neck so that he could see the doorway.

"No, I don't even know what she looks like!" Alistair hissed, "don't look now! It's Tanya."

"Oh my god, what do I do?" Michael said, panic-stricken.

"Just stay calm. Remember, you're better than her now. You have a new girl in your life, you don't need her."

"Oh my god, oh my god I can't face her. I look a mess," Michael began to hyperventilate.

"You do not look a mess. You're just being silly – drink your coffee and chill out."

"Is she looking?"

"No… wait… yes… no… oh my god she's coming over," Alistair plastered an overtly fake smile onto his face, "Tanya, what a nice surprise," he said sarcastically.

"Alistair," Tanya nodded, briefly acknowledging Alistair's presence, "Michael, can I talk to you?"

Michael just started at her, a bewildered look on his face.

"Michael?" Tanya reached out to touch his arm.

"Don't you touch me!" Michael said coldly, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Michael, I know that I'm not you most favourite person – "

"That's an understatement!" Alistair interrupted. Tanya ignored him and carried on.

"-but I just want to tell you that I miss you and I'm sorry for everything that happened. You know I'd give anything to have you back."

"What a load of crap!" Alistair began to yell again, "you should have thought about that before you climbed into bed with that blonde bimbo! You broke Michael's heart. How dare you come waltzing in here and expect him to just fall right into your arms. Well he's not going to this time. He's a stronger person now and he's got a new woman, so he doesn't need you!"

"Alistair, just leave it!" Michael said crossly.

"You're seeing someone else?" Tanya raised her eyebrow, she looked perplexed.

"Yeah and she's much better than you! And anyway, what does it matter if he's seeing someone else? You don't own him! You're nothing but a lying, cheating –"

"JUST LEAVE IT ALISTAIR!" Michael screamed, causing people to turn in their seats to gawp at the commotion. Michael took a deep breath.

"I think you should go," he told Tanya, avoiding her eyes.

"But – " Tanya started.

"Just go," Michael whispered, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. Tanya began to say something else but Alistair held up his hand in a 'don't-go-there' motion. Tanya shrugged and left the table. Alistair swiftly handed Michael a tissue.

"What an asshole," he commented, wrapping an arm around his friend.

"But… I miss her… so much," Michael sniffed, "how can she do this to me?"

"I know, I know. Ssshhh," Alistair comforted him, "c'mon, get yourself together. You need to psyche yourself up for the carnival tomorrow, not mope around feeling sorry for yourself. Ellen will be there," Alistair teased.

"Ellen's not Tanya," Michael muttered.

"No. That's because Ellen is BETTER than Tanya. And we're gonna make sure that you look gorgeous at the carnival tomorrow and knock her socks off."

Michael thought for a moment, weighing up his options, "…okay…" He dried his eyes. Alistair was right. Tanya was his past and Ellen was his possible future; there was no question about it. It was time for him to stop being such a baby and get a grip.

The streets were crowded with people in fancy dress along with an array of unusual stalls, colourful balloons and seemingly endless carnival floats. Michael and Alistair weaved their way through the hustle and bustle.

"Why am I here again?" Michael sighed to Alistair.

"Because you want to see Ellen," Alistair answered simply.

"Yeah, I guess I do," Michael beamed. He felt a lot better today; a new day, a new start. Suddenly, Michael felt someone bump into him.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Michael spun around to face the figure.

"Well... If it isn't Michael! You showed! How's the car doin'?" Michael looked up at a grinning Ellen. His heart lurched.

"It... it's fine thanks. How are you?" Michael said shyly.

"Yeah I'm doin' great babe. Had a good time the other night," Ellen smiled, her dazzling smile looking particularly gorgeous today, "so, who's this lovely young man?" She nodded towards Alistair. Alistair giggled and Michael knew that Ellen had instantly gotten his seal of approval.

"I'm Alistair," Alistair reached out to shake Ellen's hand. Ellen took his hand and gently kissed the top of it. Michael experienced a pang of jealousy.

"So, Michael," Ellen turned back to him, "fancy going for a drink?" She offered him her arm.

Michael glanced at Alistair. Alistair widened his eyes as if to say 'go on, I'll be fine'.

"Why not?" He took Ellen's arm and together they headed off towards the pub.

As the two of them walked into the pub, an elegant, radiant blonde haired man sauntered over to Ellen. The man immediately leapt into Ellen's arms, squealing with joy. Michael stepped to one side, feeling very awkward.

"Ellen! I've not seen you for ages. How've you been?" the blonde man spoke in his melodic voice.

"Good, good, you know me, I'm always good," Ellen smiled an incredibly charming smile. Michael tapped his foot impatiently.

"Still working at the garage?" the blonde man asked, "you always looked so sexy in those overalls," he brushed his hand across Ellen's arm, "my, you're muscles are huge." Ellen grinned and wrapped an arm around the man's waist.

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Ellen joked. The blonde man cackled hysterically.

Michael rolled his eyes. All of this outright flirting was too much for him. History was yet again beginning to repeat itself. He should have known better. Tanya had already broken his heart once, he couldn't take it again; the pain was just too much.

And so, Michael did the only thing that he could do and turned and walked away.

Michael sat alone in the bar, sipping his glass of red wine. He sighed deeply as he looked at a couple locked in embrace in the corner. He glanced at the clock, maybe he should head home...

It had been a week since the carnival and Ellen had not called once, not even to apologise. During this time, when not at work, Michael had taken to lying on the sofa, drinking copious amounts of vodka and watching soaps.

Alistair had visited frequently to indulge in an 'all women are bastards', male-empowerment session but nothing worked. Michael still felt awful. He couldn't believe that he had put his trust on a woman again and she had let him down, again.

The wine left a putrid taste in his mouth. Michael was just about to leave but then immediately sat back down when he saw who had just entered the bar - Ellen! He couldn't leave now because he would have to walk right past her. What to do? What to do? How he wished he had Alistair here to kick him into action.

Ellen grabbed a seat at the far end of the bar. She was alone, Michael observed. Suddenly Ellen spotted him and stared right back at him. He turned his face to the wall, breaking eye contact. Please don't come over, he willed.

"Michael!" Ellen sat down next to him, "how've you been?"

"Fine," Michael replied in a clipped tone.

"Listen, about that day in the pub –"

"Look, you don't have to explain. I was there; I saw everything with my own two eyes. It doesn't matter anyway, I'm used to it. It's not like we were going out anyway," Michael interjected.

"But he was just a friend!" Ellen protested.

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Michael spat.

"No really. I mean, yeah we used to date a long time ago, but it's more than over. He just didn't want to commit to the relationship; I think he wanted someone rich and I just wasn't that someone. He was always a gold-digger," Ellen put his hand upon Michael's, "please understand."

Michael paused for a moment, "okay, so if this is true then why haven't you called me?"

"This sounds really, really stupid and a pathetic excuse, I know, but I lost your number. I accidentally threw out the tissue it was written on. I must have thought it was just an old tissue or something. I really like you, I don't want to hurt you, honestly" Michael looked into Ellen's soft brown eyes. They looked sincere. The ice in his heart began to slowly melt.

"Look, can I at least buy you another drink?" Ellen asked. Michael nodded.

Ellen went to the bar and ordered herself a pint and a glass of wine for Michael. She sat back down.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" Ellen said gently.

"Well… you can start by taking me to dinner again," a slight smile began to creep onto Michael's face, "and then we can go from there."

"It's a deal," Ellen chuckled, wrapping her broad arms around Michael. Michael sighed.

"I like you too," he whispered. Ellen stoked his face with her hand and then before Michael knew it they were kissing. It was truly magical, like nothing Michael had ever felt before.

"So…" Ellen started after she had broken off the embrace, "how about that dinner then?"

"Let's go," Michael took Ellen's hand and the two of them walked off into the night towards Fabio's.

Michael sighed dreamily, gazing at Ellen's perfect features. And then he realised, under the moon and the stars that he had finally found the right kind of woman.

The End