They appeared back in Galileo's one-room shack. Bastian set down the flame-throwers for a minute and looked around. He noticed a stack of books.
"Ooh, whatcha readin'?" asked Bastian.
"Oh, the classics, mostly. I taught myself to read."
"Cool," replied Bastian. "What did you think of 1984?"
"Booger City sounded oftly oppressive."
"Yeah, you must have a different version than me," muttered Bastian, walking out of the shack.
* * *
Bastian put the blowtorches together carefully. They were at the edge of the woods just mere feet from the entrance to the castle. Galileo walked up and sat down beside Bastian. The dense trees obscured them.
"It looks like that's our best bet," said Galileo, gesturing to the main entrance that was being guarded by two particularly stupid looking goblins. One was picking his nose.
"Without a doubt," replied Bastian.
* * *
Bastian walked out of the woods carrying his blowtorch, with the WD-40 torch attached to his belt. Galileo followed closely behind, with the various torches in the same spot.
They slowly approached the castle, amazingly, or perhaps not so amazingly undetected by the two guards. The guards finally noticed Galileo and Bastian as they approached the door.
Bastian pulled out his lighter and lit his torch. Galileo lit his off of Bastian's torch. They kept walking, feeling very bad ass.
"They have fire. We will die. RUN AWAY!" screamed one of the guards. The two guards ran off in a crazed panic.
"Smart goblins," muttered Galileo.
"Only marginally," replied Bastian.
Bastian and Galileo proceeded to enter the castle. It was dark and lit only by burning torches. It was basically a living stereotype.
"No need to be alarmed. We were just wondering if we could borrow a cup of sugar," said Bastian, walking down the hall, blowtorch held high.
Echoing through the halls was the echoes of laughter. Maniacal laughter from the Dark Lord.
"We might be in trouble," replied Bastian.
As if on cue, Garvey, the head goblin stepped out of the shadows. "You'll never find her. The Dark Lord has her hidden. These halls are like a maze. You might as well give up."
Bastian heaved a deep sigh, reached over and grabbed Garvey by the ear. "Why don't you just show us where they are then?"
"Ow! Ow! I was only kidding! A little joke! Have you no sense of humor?! Aghhhh!" screamed Garvey in pain as Bastian pulled him down the hall.
* * *
Garvey pointed at the large wooden doors. "They're in there."
"Thanks Garvey," replied Bastian. Bastian reeled back and tossed Garvey through the doors. The doors burst open and Garvey slid across the stone floor. Bastian followed, torch still burning.
"Thanks for opening the door Garvey," said Bastian.
"You're welcome," muttered Garvey before passing out.
The Dark Lord stood up from his throne. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm the party crasher. I'm here to collect my wife."
"Perfect. You're the husband," muttered the Dark Lord.
"Bastian, what took you so long?" asked Beth.
"It's a long story," replied Bastian.
"No matter, you are history, Bastian," replied The Dark Lord.
Bastian fell to his knees and screamed out in pain. His head began to throb. He clutched his head, having no idea what was happening.
"NO!" screamed Beth. She looked around the room in a panic, looking for a weapon. She grabbed the large fireplace poker from beside the fireplace, ran at the distracted Dark Lord and ran the poker through his chest. The Dark Lord screamed out in pain as Beth continued to push him backward into his throne and the end of the poker rammed through the Dark Lord and through the back of the chair.
"You bitch…" was all the Dark Lord could get out, blood streaming from his mouth.
Bastian stood up a little weary on his feet. "Jeez…Honey, remind me never to piss you off."
Beth could only laugh.
* * *
"You sure you don't want to come back?" asked Bastian. They were standing in Galileo's cabin.
"Nah. My home is here. Thanks though," replied Galileo.
"Fair enough." Bastian got down on his knees so he would be at eye level with Dell and Paq. "Hey guys, I don't know if I said this before, but…thanks."
"Don't mention it. And thanks to you for helping us," replied Dell.
"No problem," replied Bastian.
"You won't forget us, will you Bastian?" asked Paq.
Bastian and Beth stepped through the mirror and back into their attic.
"We're home. Thank god!" exclaimed Bastian, with a huge sigh of relief.
* * *
Bastian and Beth walked through the nearby shopping center, running a few errands and picking up a few things.
"I gotta run to the restroom. Be right back," said Bastian as he jogged towards the Men's room.
Bastian read the graffiti on the walls as he did his business. There was one piece of graffiti that caught his attention.
Honeythorne Gump was here.