Confessions of the Attentless
Life with ADHD by Katie Eickhoff

Hey listen
Can you tell me something?
Why am I so dumb?
I'm more intelligent that these people
Oh! Did you say something
My eyes were looking at you
but my ears were closed to you

There's a fly on the wall
I know how it feels
Switching views every second
Looking a new way

Attention all Attention-Lackers!
Stand, sit! Take notice!
What was I going to say?

I can't pay attention everyone says
That's because there is nothing to listen to
Nothing here is interesting.

They say I have no motivation
But there's nothing to be motivated about
No chances for creativity.
No cheap tricks work on me

My leg is shaking again
All the energy is leaving me
The teacher yells at me
"Pay Attention!"

Inside I lash out
Saying "But I can't! It's who I am!"
But I don't, because if I do
They'll only give me more pills.

They tell me all they need to do
is balance the chemicals in my brain
To control me to there standards
And tie me to this world

So I indulge in my own life
I write Fantastical Stories
and Draw beatiful things
This is what my world is made of
and isn't this a wonderful thing?

"Get organized!"
"Get Better Grades"
"Stop Fluttering!"
"And Get your head out of the clouds!"

My feet are firmly planted
I let my mind wander
to a world where I am accepted
and not being measured in medical doses

Don't control me, Set me free
Don't yell at me, wake me up
Don't misjudge me, help me understand
My work is hurried and rushed
But with genius inside.

The other children
can't see my pain
when playing red rover
They didn't let me in the game.

I can't pay attention to the noise
and thn the line would break
I run to underneath the platform
Hiding from my shame, I can't play the game.

So I've learned to live my life
In a world of Wizards and Dragons
That no one else can play in
Unless they can hold my attention

I can concentrate on many things
like read a new novel
or writing this confession

But when teachers ask me
to conjugate a german word or the value of X
I want to yell "I don't care!"
But they would stick me in detention

I live a small world of Darness
No one knows my name
They don't bother to ask
Because they wouldn't remember

To conjugate a german word
is less important than my writing
I'm writing this during class
It grabs my ears better

I can't stand it!
I want to yell inside!
Teachers! To gain my Attention
Attention you must provide

Do not walk away
As you always have
I'm standing next to you
Spilling out my soul

You stand there like an idiot
Forgetting I'm alive
I'm yelling in your Ear!
And you just wonder why I don't pay attention

I'll listen to you,
If you listen to me
make me turn my head
like a fly on the wall

I'd work on my german
I know I need the grade
But there are more important things
like The fly on the walls eyes

To All the people who would hinder me
living my fantasy life, not let me play the games
Control me with medicine, and forget who I am

To gain my attention
Attention you must provide
Please take notice, not throw it aside
This confession of the Attentless