No Longer

I'm not the same person
You thought you knew
Back then when we were tight.

But it wasn't you
Who didn't know me.
It was me who didn't know myself.

You knew every smile,
Every glance,
Every present emotion,

But when talking about my heart and soul,
You only knew that
Which I chose to show.

I showed you me,
As I saw me,
But I was wrong.

I told you my past,
As I remembered the pain,
Not the events.

I took for granted
What I had,
For nine years straight.

And every time I did,
My true loves would fall apart,
Fall away.

And I never saw it as my fault.
Always turning around,
And seeing only what they did wrong.

Now although I am no stronger,
And will still get hurt,
By the ones I love.

I am smarter,
And don't think
That I will make the same mistakes again.

I am no longer that scared,
Timid first grader,
Stuck in the body of a teenager.