Mr. Cletus and the Green Bay Packers

[MeatLoaf's Note: This is based on a story that me and my friend Brittany (yes, La Dama, that Brittany) thought up. It's about this fat couch potato who is obsessed with the Green Bay Packers. If you don't read the fic itself, at least read the author's note at the end.]

"Maybe I should actually get of the couch today." Said Mr. Cletus to himself. Then he looked around his living room whose floor was covered in cheetos bags. "Or then again, maybe not."
But Mr. Cletus was very hungry and the big box of cheetos that he always kept beside the couch where he lived was empty so he decided to get up in search of food. He weighed 7000 pounds so this was not and easy task. First he made this weird sound as he tried to roll over on the couch. Since he couldn't get up, he rolled of the couch. He tried to stand up, but his legs couldn't support his weight so he crawled over to the kitchen. He opened up the fridge and looked in. The shelves we filled with cheetos and diet Dr. Pepper.
"Yum!" yelled Mr. Cletus.
He then grabbed as many cheetos bags and diet Dr. Pepper cans as he possibly could and crawled back over to his couch. Then he opened a bag of cheetos and started eating. Soon he noticed a little note on the package that said to mail in 3,000 empty cheetos bags and you get a new TV channel.
"Cool! I want a new TV channel!" screamed Mr. Cletus, "I have a huge, big screen TV, but I don't get any channels."
So Mr. Cletus picked up all the empty cheetos bags off the floor and counted them. He had 300,000,000,000,000,000,000 bags. Next, he stuffed them into a large envelope and mailed it off. 3 days later, he had 10,000,000,000 new TV channels. The only problem was that they were all the same channel: The Green Bay Packers Channel. But this wasn't a problem for Mr. Cletus because he loved the Green Bay Packers.
"I love the Green Bay Packers!" said Mr. Cletus.
While he was watching channel 365249, he saw a commercial.
"If you send in 4,000 empty cheetos bags," said the man in the commercial, "The Green Bay Packers will come and autograph something!"
"That sounds cool!" said Mr. Cletus.
So then he picked up 4,000 cheetos packages off the floor and sent them in a big blue envelope. 4 hours later, the Green Bay Packers came to Mr. Cletus' house.
"Hello Mr. Cletus!" said the Green Bay Packers.
"Hello Green Bay Packers!" said Mr. Cletus.
"We have come to autograph something!" said the Green Bay Packers.
"You can autograph my couch!" yelled Mr. Cletus.
"Ok!" said the Green Bay Packers as they picked up a giant, black, crayola marker which they have lovingly named Big Fat Marker. Then they autographed Mr. Cletus' couch. And his fridge, his microwave, his lava lamp and his neighbor's dog.
"Thanx Green Bay Packers!" said Mr. Cletus.
"Ur welcome!" said the Green Bay Packers.
Then the Green Bay Packers left. Then Mr. Cletus turned on the TV and watched a commercial. In the commercial, there was a tall girl with blonde hair and platforms dancing around holding a banana.
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts standing here in a row..." sang the girl in the commercial.
"TMI!" yelled Mr. Cletus.

(I bet you only Julianne understood this fanfic.)