By Stephanie Starnes, Ana Shelton and Julianne Clifton
[MeatLoaf's Note: This is a project that me and some people in my social studies class had to do. I have the sound thing of it so if you want to hear it, just email me and I'll send it to you.]
Julianne (aka La Dama del pollo): Person A, Marion Jones, Guy2/Melancomas
Stephanie (aka MeatLoaf the Happy Donkey): Person B, Guy 1/Theagenes, Coach
Ana: Person C, Commentator
A: 776 B.C. The games of the first Olympiad opened today in Olympia, Greece.
B: Here we are at the first Olympics! Person C and I aren't worried though, because of the Olympic truce. If there were any wars, they would have to pay 2 minas of silver per soldier.
C: Wow! I didn't know that! One thousandth of a mina is an average workers wage here in ancient Greece!
B: Holy Tax Rebates!
C: Did you know that the events include boxing, chariot racing, horseback riding,
pankration and discus throwing?
B: Groovy! That's nine events!
C: I have an odd feeling something odd is happening.
B: How so?
C: 1, you're having a bad hair-day. Wait, no. Off subject. 2, I hear some funky music and 3, we're disappearing.
A: 2000 A.D. The games of the 27th modern Olympiad in Sydney, Australia.
C: Where the heck are we?
B: (gasps) We're in the dressing rooms of the Women's U.S. track and field team!
B & C: No!
(Marion Jones walks in)
MJ: What are you doing here?
B&C: Holy Tax Rebates! It's Marion Jones!
MJ: What do you expect? My name is on the door.
B: We just went through a time warp and mysteriously appeared here!
C: We were just wondering, could you answer a few questions?
MJ: Whatever. This is probably just one of those recurring nightmares anyway.
B: How many gold medals did you get?
MJ: I was aiming toward 5 gold medals but I got 3 gold and two bronze. But that's great with me! I'm still one of the best.
C: What Olympic events did compete in and what medals did you get?
MJ: I got golds in the 100 meter dash and the 400 meter relay. I got bronzes in the long jump and a 100 meter relay.
B: Just curious, what university did you attend?
C: No! The time warp is here again!
A: 489 B.C. The games of the 76th ancient Olympiad.
B: Ooh, C! Look!
C: What the?
B: Yeah, yeah. It warped us to a different time. But C, Look!
B: Look at those guys competing.
C: They're very...um...unclothed.
B: What are they doing? I hope it's not some sort of new fashion craze.
C: Maybe they're just freaks.
B: Let's go meet one! That one over there looks perfectly handsome!
C: Maybe if you squint your eyes and turn your head this way. (Smacking sound) Ow! Why did you slap me?
B: No reason.
Guy 1/Theagenes: Are you O.K.?
Guy: Let me get my toga on.
B: Good idea you win the common sense award!
B: Be right back!
B: Oh no! We're disappearing!
C: No! The guy must come with us!
B: Oh heck.
Guy: Hey! I don't have my toga! Oh well. I get to use your jungle-print tablecloth!
A: 49 A.D. The 207th Olympiad.
Guy: What happened? Where the heck are we?
B: Quiet! I think there is something going on...
C: Let's listen to that guy over there! He looks like he knows what he's doing.
Guy 2: I'm sorry coach. Holding my arms up for two strait days seemed like a good idea at the time.
Coach: What were you thinking? You need your strength for the Olympic tournament! Boxing is your life!
Guy 1: Did he say boxing! That's one of my best sports! No one can beat the great Theagenes!
Guy 1/Theagenes: That's me!
B: Oh no! Theagenes, could you go over there for a moment.
B: Person C! We've created a monster! Theagenes lived in 480 B.C Now from what that guy says, he must be Melancolmas -The unbeatable. But he lives in about 50 A.D.
C: Oh no! Melancolmas was that chap who stole a huge bronze statue in his childhood and put it back!
B: Yup, that's him!
C: But wasn't Theagenes a runner?
B: He was a boxer too.
C: Oh no! Will this never end? Look and listen! Theagenes and Maloncolmos are talking!
Theagenes: Oh yeah? I can beat you anytime I feel like it!
Melancomas: Alright! Tomorrow- we'll see.
Coach: Oh no...
A: The next day...
B: At least we'll get to see Melancomas' unique boxing style
B: He never hits an opponent. He just block the attacks until they wear out.
C: Shhh! It's staring...
Commentator: A man who claims to be Theagenes will be playing Malancomas today. But wait. Melancomas just held up his arms for two strait days. Who will win?
A: A little later.
C:This is getting boring. Person B, I have a question: How do the ancient Olympics compare with the modern ones?
B: Well Person C, first off, women weren't allowed to attend the events. Even as spectators! Secondly, they had fewer events. But the Olympic spirit hasn't changed. Only now our Olympic truce is unwritten. The ancient Olympics were divided into boys and men and there were no weight classes. Only free men who spoke Greek could compete. And, oddly enough, Olympic athletes were treated as deities in Greece. Only the first place winner got anything at all. The others often had to sneak back home- embarrassed. But for goodness sake, they're naked. Now watch the match.
C:It's almost done. Theagenes looks like he'll fall over soon.
B: I could probably squish him with my flyswatter. Anyway C, Put Theagenes back in the right time.
C: Okay. Wait. Look! Theagenes lost! Anyway, bye.
A: The End. Yay! Now I get to go home!