Looking for Bliss

Looking for Bliss

Planet gone
World and home destroyed
Looking for that place to hide
Searching for the irreplaceable
The perfect safety
Heaven in denial

Looking for that perfect bliss
Where danger and death are foreign
Looking for that delightful bliss
Inside dark depths

Viewing the screen
Rocks pelt the ship
Remnants of a dead core
Shake, rattle and engines fire
Avoiding explosions upon the movements of stone
Heat engulfs the ship as the enemy shoots
Feel the danger deep inside
Know that torture and not death
Like that new and mysterious wish
Is nigh upon that not so distant horizon

Looking for that ungraspable bliss
Beyond reality

Explosions and smoke build
Flames of evil engulf machines
Fly from the floor
Gravity lost
Zero G
Float into this representation of air
Enemy board
All is lost
But not
The information is left in the mind
Safety will come with that silent bliss
Sharp blade of metal passes on its trajectory
Take the answer to the problem
The solution that leads to victory
Enemy enter

Looking for bliss
Slice
'I found it'

Okay, that was my first attempt at poetry (which explains the... 'style' of it. I wasn't even going to attempt to give it rhythm, rhyme or a pattern mainly because I knew it would turn it into garbage!). It was inspired by a conversation with a suicidal 'friend' of mine, so blame her for the 'angstyness' of it.

I'm looking for comments, good or bad... preferably constructive criticism but even flames are nice... well maybe not 'nice' as such, but they let me know someone clicked on this. Plus it takes a lot to annoy me! ::grins::

By the way, for those that enjoyed this, I'm thinking of writing a story based on the idea I've got behind this. I've got so many other things in the making, it'll take a while to actually come into being, but anyone who is interested just give me your email address and I'd be happy to email you when I am done (although you had better understand that when I say 'take a while', I mean months, maybe even years... well... year... possibly...) Anyway, my email address is xilmin for those interested in contacting me.