Jerry stares at the gray sky, his eyes fill up with tears. There's a tight feeling in his chest from holding them off, choking him. Something tells him he could die right here and now. Just hold his breath until he can't take it anymore and falls apart. A kind of asphyxiation. Jerry starts to laugh picturing himself like that, his cheeks red and puffy with air, skin blue. Like a smurf. The boy in him giggles uncontrollably. A little smurf, that's what he is. The thought distracts him for awhile, so he forgets why he was upset in the first place. Then the whole force of what has just happened hits him, real hard, like a blow to the head. Like his brother punching him in the nose when he was 6, because Jerry had taken all his records and played frisbee with them. He didn't know better then. He thinks now, "I should know better, I should know what's right." Jerry's lids grow heavy with tears again, but he remembers his father yelling at him last time he cried, calling him a pansy. No, he wouldn't cry this time. The sky changes from grey to a black green that reminds him of his grandma's pea soup. Bits of rain start to fall, softly at first, then faster, stabbing like ice. Jerry doesn't move, just sits there, shivering. And he cries. Because no one could see him and they couldn't tell anyway, he was so wet all over. He cries, cries so hard that he starts to laugh again. The rain seems to cover him like a blanket, nice and warm. Some part of Jerry can feel himself slipping, falling into himself, spiralling down and down with the rain... "Jerry!" he hears David's voice suddenly. A small spark of hope lights up in him, wanting to call back to David. But the spiral still draws him further down and the dark blanket closes over his head. Jerry wakes up to find himself cradled in David's arms, on his bed. His vision is fuzzy, the colors sliding in and out of one another in liquid motion. He blinks rapidly, trying to make the picture clear. David's arms feel warm and strong around him. A part of him doesn't want to know how he got here, just wants David to hold him like this always. To rest his head against the curve of David's shoulder and know it's his. To feel David's breath warm against the back of his head. Jerry sighs and feels David shift. "Are you awake?" he asks. "Dunno. I kinda hope not," David murmurs against his hair. They are both silent for a long time. Noise doesn't seem right at this time. "How did I get here?" David lets his breath out in one long gust, "I saw you in the rain. You were unconscious. I called my mum and we got you back here." "Does your mum know what happened yesterday?" David is silent for awhile, "Yes. She's always known, probably." Jerry closes his eyes. "What does she think?" He feels David shrug beneath him, "Dunno. She's never said anything." In the back of Jerry's mind he knows this will end soon. He and David will go to school tomorrow and forget this morning. They'll pretend they don't know each other when they meet in the hallway. Jerry tries not to think about it. He just closes his eyes and rests his head against the crook in David's shoulder and tries not to think at all.