CAPTAIN WEENIE #1:THE VEGETABLE VANDAL
It was a bright morning as Paul Farley was walking towards school.
"What a perfect day." Paul sighed.
Paul was a kid just like any other kid except for one thing, Paul was a superhero. He was not just any superhero, he was Captain Weenie, a teenage superhero always ready to fight injustice. With his loyal sidekick, Herb, who was really his best friend, Mike Lawrence, evil doers didn't stand a chance. Today was much better than before. Yesterday, Captain Weenie had to once again save the world (or at least a person) from evil.
It all started yesterday when the richest family in town, the Harts, was having a party to show off their family jewels. (They were celebrating the fact that they were named one of the richest family in the world.) Of course thieves from miles around would want to steal, them so the family (the Harts) hired hundreds of guards to protect the jewels.
Everyone thought that was a great idea, but no one suspected that someone might kidnap their only child, their daughter-Carlie, who to the Harts, was more precious than all their jewels combined. Well someone did and that's how it all started.
"I can't wait to see the jewels of the Harts, this should be the biggest event yet." Paul said to Mike.
"Well don't show too much excitement or the Harts might get even cockier." Mike said.
"I know but I can't hide my excitement, I'm practically bur-", Paul was cut off by Mike.
"Shhhh! It's starting." Mike hissed.
Just as they were about to unveil the jewels, all of a sudden the lights went out and a scream was heard backstage. Mike ran backstage and Paul followed. When they reached there, they found two very frantic Harts when there were supposed to be three.
"What's wrong?' Mike asked.
"Please Mike, I think I should ask the questions around here," Paul said matter-of -factly, "Given the fact that I am the real superhero, with superhero experience" he added with a whisper.
"If you count falling on your face and botching things up because you're completely clueless, superhero experience, then you're right." Mike whispered back.
"So Mr. and Mrs. Hart, what's wrong?" Paul said.
"I just asked that, you moron!" Mike said angrily.
"Oh shut up!" Paul said, "I do it better."
"Boys, boys could we get on with it...I think our daughter has been kidnapped." Mrs. Hart said.
"Why do you think that?" Mike asked.
"There was a note that, 'We have kidnapped your daughter.' and we sort of drew our own conclusions" Mr. Hart said.
"Oh...what else can you tell us about the kidnapping?" asked Paul.
"Well one more thing, when the lights went back on, there was a smell, sort of a broccoli smell" Mrs. Hart said.
"Did you say broccoli?!" Paul and Mike exclaimed together.
But they didn't even wait for a reply, they ran out to an empty room outside the building.
"Do you know what that means, a broccoli smell?" Mike asked excitedly.
"Of course I do...just so I know you know, what does it mean?" Paul asked nonchalantly.
"I means that the villain must be Professor Broccoli Top, the evil mutant vegetable!" Mike said impatiently.
"Oh yeah, of course, I knew that!" Paul said.
"I think you know what to do" Mike said.
Right...what?", he asked.
"You know, C.W." Mike urged on.
(CW were the initials of Captain Weenie.
"Oh yeah, I knew that." Paul said.
Then Paul stepped forward and recited the magic words that changed him into Captain Weenie, which are:
No more injustice
No more crime
Look out world
It's weenie time!
Then Paul Farley turned into Captain Weenie and Mike Lawrence into his sidekick, Herb.
"Let's go Herb! Off to save innocent put in harms way by the evil vegetable vandal!"
"Uh yeah right." Herb said lacking enthusiasm.
" We don't have the car, so we'll have to fly", CW said, "Weenie elevate!"
"O God!" Herb groaned.
Herb and Captain Weenie flew through the air looking all over the city for Professor Broccoli Top and Carlie Hart, who was the kidnapped daughter.
"Captain look over there, I think I see some sort of vegetable." Herb said pointing towards the Roquefort Supermarket, " Look I see Carlie, she's tied to a s shopping cart.."
"Oh that dastardly fiend, is there nothing he won't do!" CW said angrily.
"Okay here's the plan, I'll fight Broccoli top while you free Carlie and take her back to safety." Captain Weenie told Herb.
Captain Weenie zoomed down and distracted the professor by tapping him on his shoulder and then running away, while Herb freed Carlie from her shopping cart captivity. Then after Carlie was out of danger, Captain Weenie stepped out to face his opponent.. He had to use all of his cunning and smarts to outwit Professor Broccoli Top.
"Hey meathead, over here meathead!" CW taunted, he knew that Broccoli Top hated to be called anything associated with meat.
"I hate meat, I hate meat!" the professor protested while running towards Captain Weenie. CW flew out of the way, pulled out one of his weenie weapons, his mustard gun. He pressed the trigger and mustard squirted all over Professor Broccoli Top.
"I hate mustard!" Broccoli Top stormed at Captain Weenie.
Captain checked to look to see if Herb had come back and then all of a sudden -WHAM! Broccoli Top slammed Captain Weenie on the ground. CW thought quickly, he knew he had to stall until Herb came back or else he was a goner.
"So Professor, why kidnap the girl, she's not of any value?" asked Captain Weenie.
"On the contrary, that girl is worth more than all of the jewels in the world, at least to the Harts she is. By stealing the girl I could of had all of their jewels, but now because of you..." the professor's trailed off as he reached behind his back.
"This ends now-Hotdog Boy!"
Then Broccoli Top pulled out his secret weapon-his cheez gun. Now everyone knows that Captain Weenie is allergic to cheez. He can have cheese but he can't have cheez. Professor Broccoli Top squeezed and squirted cheez all over Captain Weenie.
"No! Not that, anything but that!" Captain Weenie cried.
...At the Hart mansion
"Wow! Nice place you have here." Herb said as he flew into the Hart driveway.
"Thanks, for the ride and saving my life and all-" Carlie said but stopped as she saw her parents running towards her.
"Oh Carlie, are you okay?!" Mrs. Hart said as she hugged her.
"I'm sure you know we can't offer you much of a reward", Mr. Hart said to Herb, " we're kinda strapped for cash at the moment."
Just then their butler came up to them.
"Sir, good news, you just made another 100 million dollars! Shall I make more space in the money room?"
"No Jeeves, I'm good, you can leave now", an annoyed Mr. Hart said.
"Well look at that", Mr. Hart said uneasily, "now we can pay off our bills, did you hear that honey, we're out of -"
"Give it up Jonathan, it's over." and exasperated Mrs. Hart said.
"Don't worry I don't want a reward, actually I have to go, glad to be of help." Herb said with disgust.
And off he went.
"Strapped for cash! You moron." Mrs. Hart retorted to her husband.
Meanwhile back at the supermarket...
Captain Weenie tried to get up from the floor but couldn't, the cheez was too much for him and he was too weak. It was all over, so this was the way he was going out-death by cheezing!
"Oh yes that! I guess you're not so strong after all are you Captain Puny?!" Broccoli Top taunted.
"That's weenie!" a voice yelled.
It was Herb! Herb on the Weenie Wagon! (Their main mode of transportation, it's just an old, junky car with wieners painted all over it and a bunch of technogizmos.)
"Herb you're here!"
"No, oh no!" Broccoli top said.
Herb rammed into Broccoli Top with the Weenie Wagon. Broccoli Top flew across the street and fell unconscious. Herb came out of the car and helped Captain Weenie up.
"Are you okay?" Herb asked.
"Yeah, it's a good thing you came," Captain Weenie said while cleaning the cheez off himself, " or I might have had to let him experience my wrath."
"Would that be the one where you cry like a baby and wet yourself." Herb said.
Suddenly a swarm of kids came towards them.
"Wow!", on kid said, "it's Herb and Captain Weenie, can you autograph this." he said holding out his hat.
"Sure what's your name?" Captain Weenie said.
"Not you!" they said, "We want Herb's autograph!"
"Oh." CW said obviously hurt.
All the kids gathered around Herb asking for autographs but Herb saw how hurt Captain Weenie was and felt bad for his friend.
"Wait, wait, don't be mean, Captain Weenie is a hero too." Herb protested.
"But you saved us from Broccoli Top, we saw you, Captain Weenie acted like a scardey-cat just because of a little cheese.", a little girl said.
"You mean cheez.", a boy corrected her.
"Just because Captain Weenie has a weakness doesn't mean he's a scardey-cat and it doesn't mean he's not a hero." Herb said.
"But I saw him crying!", the little girl said.
"Hey I wasn't crying, my eyes were tearing because...I'm allergic to broccoli." Captain Weenie shot back.
"Oh so you're afraid of cheez and broccoli, you're pathetic, I could take you", the little girl said.
"What?! You want some of this?! Come on, let's go," CW said putting his fists up.
"Oh please, if I fought you, you wouldn't be standing up, you'd be getting up!" the little girl said taking off her jacket.
"Ooooohhhhhhooooohhhh!", the kids chimed.
Just when they were about to fight, Herb broke it up.
"My point is," Herb stressed, "That having a weakness builds character and we all have them. Captain Weenie is a great guy, a loyal friend and he's brave too. I think you should all apologize."
The kids apologized to Captain Weenie and got autographs from both of them. As they were going home in the Weenie Wagon, CW asked Herb:
"So, um, what happened to Carlie?"
"I took her back home, she has a nice place, real fancy."
"Did you get a reward?!"
"No, you know those Harts are really taking a beating in the wallet area.", Herb said sarcastically.
"Really?! I didn't know that, that poor family."
Herb looked at Captain Weenie in amazement.
"What?", CW asked.
"Nothing", Herb said shaking his head.
After some silence Captain Weenie asked:
"Did you really mean what you said back there about me being loyal and all that stuff?", CW asked uneasily.
"No, I just said it so you wouldn't get into a fight with that girl."
"Yeah, I could beat her."
"No one takes down little kids like you, CW." Herb said mockingly.
"I know.", Captain Weenie said proudly.
Paul smiled as he thought about the case, it wasn't that important but it was special.
"Hey Paul, wait up!", Mike called from behind.
"Hey Mike.", Paul said as Mike stepped beside him.
All of a sudden there was a scream.
"Help!", someone called.
Paul and Mike looked at each other alarmed and Captain Weenie and Herb knew it was just another day.