12As promised, I shall explain to you my thoughts and questions toward 001.
She was obsessed with being successful. The idea of failure was to disgusting to her that she shut herself away from anything that could lead to it—including emotion. But she always did feel emotion, mainly hatred for the human race. She was so afraid of corruption that she refused to admit to herself that she could feel such. And it is this that slowly ate away at her, and drove her insane.
She hated humans, so much so that she refused to believe that any human could have any good in them. She had not yet become fully aware of this when the crisis told of in this story arose, but the hatred was there, and it led her to believe that exterminating the humans was the only choice we had.
And I believed her. Why?
Well, I suppose I trusted her. More than I should have. She just seemed so loyal and respectful, I could not help but start to think she was as noble as I. But I was horribly mistaken, and this mistake caused me an unbelievable amount of pain.
I remember the day I realized what she really was… that day.. one of the worst days I had ever seen.
She had rushed into my office, bowed down and lowered her head, while begging for forgiveness.
"001, what is wrong?" I asked, "Did something go wrong?"
"Sir, I… I have failed. I am so sorry. 667 did not do as I asked, and I…," She hesitated, "I attacked her."
I could not bring myself to say any more after hearing her say that. Only the most corrupt of deities ever attacked those sent to help them! How could she? It had never occurred to me that she may not have been perfect. I sent her off to some Maintenance units, all of which agreed that she could not be rehabilitated (because she had been in maintenance before), and that she should be turned human.
Oh horror of horrors!
No, seriously, I did see this as a horrible thing!
And at that time, I realized something that I never before would have let myself believe.
I had feelings for her.
What kind of feelings? I still am not entirely sure. It could be love, it could be infatuation, it could merely be my seeing her as a good friend. But whatever it was, it hurt.
And now I begin to wonder, why have I written all this? Here am I, the day before 001's human form is to be killed once and for all, and I have written all these things a human should never hear. Why? To search for sympathy, perhaps? Or maybe to teach you humans something, so that I may be able to give up this charade and let you all know who I am?
Corrector 002 invited me to be there when he disposed of her. He does not know my feelings. None of them do. Of course I turned him down.
I suppose it might be love. That seems the most logical answer.
But I am not sure. All that I am sure of is that… when I think of her…
… My heart aches.
-
Need I say anything? It's done, it's sad, I start on next one now.