how does the time fall, how do the moments escape me with every full and tightening breath i take. every lung constricted gasp that winds through my wind pipes and through my hopeless lips.

you tell me the fucking day.

you tell me the fucking day i sucked this life from my bones.

this was the day that i had so much hope for. this day was so soft and so grey. this day clouds did not take shape. i leaned on the counter in the kitchen. the sun through the window filtered through the summer leaves and patterned themselves on my legs. this was the day that was so glad to be born in a flame of sun and sky. this was the day that i laughed because we were so young and we loved each other so much. every thing was so perfect on this late summer day. everything in order on this late summer day. everything in order on this fucking august day.

everything in order.


i can't hear the blood in my veins.
i can't hear the pounding in my head.
i can't feel you next to me.

what have i done to myself
what have i done all by myself

ripped my fucking flesh
ripped my heart out
this day is gone
i can't do anything to bring it back

i know you're watching me, with your eyes. i know you're watching me there, there out of the corner of your eyes.

this is the day when the afternoon lasted for ever. this was the day when the grass grew because i was alive. this was the day that the trees made shadows because we laughed. i love you and you loved me. this late summer day. this late summer day. why does it end so quickly.

i can't hear you in my head
i can't hear you in my heart
i can't hear you next to me

i know i am alone

i can't feel me.

i can't feel me.

fuck this fuck this everythings in dissarray.
who is this girl with bloody arms
sprawled on the kitchen counter.
i can't live without you

fading fading fading out.

because you're gone in august.