This story is based on actual events. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. However, they will be easy to identify.

Too early...tired...I wish school started later. Of course, then it would get out later. Nah, I like getting home at 3:30. Plus, if I had planned better I could have made these copies yesterday and then I wouldn't have to show up to school early to make them. So THAT'S why they always told us to plan our lessons.

"Duuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Look, it's Miss Lester."

Oh God. It was Mimi. Mimi was a former student who took a perverse pleasure in annoying me. I had forgotten that early bird hadn't started yet. Damn. "Go to class, Mimi."

"That class is lame. Nerd killer."

"You know, Mimi, you DID go into my desk to eat half my Nerds so, really, that makes you a Nerd killer too." I know you are but what am I? Jeez, do I have to sink to her level?

"I only ate the pink ones. Ooo, tiger stripes!"

What?! Oh. I had a cardigan and shell on and the way I was standing you could see some of my bra. (Yes, it was actually tiger striped but that's not the point). "Mimi, go to class."

"Ooo, does Mr. Winklemann like tiger stripes? Sexy!"

Great. Now she was back on her obsession with Mr. Winklemann. Mimi was convinced that Mr. Winklemann and I were having a secret affair. Where she got this idea, I guess we'll never know. Mimi is like that; sometimes you just have to sigh and think: thank God insanity is not contagious.

"Mimi, go to class." Finally she did actually go to class. I fixed my sweater and went to make copies (there wasn't any truth to what Mimi had said, but I wouldn't want to encourage Mr. Winklemann).

*******
Later that same day...

I was having a nice break with other students who were unscheduled. The fun part about our schedule is that there are plenty of opportunities to waste time during the school day. TECHNICALLY I'm supposed to encourage the students to do work and be productive. But letting them slack is more fun.

Mimi came into the class. Everyone said hi but I just watched her. You never know.

"Oo la la! Tiger stripes!" She started to write on the board: How many innocent tigers had to die for your bra?

"Mimi!" But she ignored me!

"I bet Mr. Winklemann thinks tiger stripes are sexy. Did he pick that one out for you this morning?"

The other students finally realized what Mimi was saying. "Mimi, what are you talking about?" Beth asked. I thought I would preempt whatever random sentence Mimi was going to say. "Mimi, for some reason, was looking at my bra."

The whole room burst into laughter. Cathy recovered first. "Mimi, why the HELL were you looking at Miss Lester's bra?"

"I wasn't looking! Her shirt was practically falling off! Everyone could see it!"

"Sure Mimi. Miss Lester would never do that," said Seretha.

"Yes she would!" Mimi was not used to being laughed at in this particular manner. I, on the other hand, was enjoying myself immensely.

"Hey Mimi. Just so you know, my bra is blue." Jenna, ever the smartass. "I wouldn't want you to stare at me and wonder."

"Shut up. You all suck." Mimi left soon after that.

This would have been a perfect story if Mimi had never bothered me again, having learned her lesson this time. But that didn't work. In retaliation she kept drawing pictures of bloody Nerds, and asked me to join her PEN15 club. Then there was the whole serial killer/possessing Candi thing, but we won't get into that. This wouldn't be the last time Mimi would bother me...