Kari at Home Sick: Act 4

Phone: Ring ring!

Tiffany: Hello?

Becky: Hi! Is Voldemort’s grandma there?

Tiffany: Hold on.

Kari: Voldemort’s grandma here, Voldemort, stop bothering that Harry boy.

Voldemort: Yes Granny.

Connie the Peach: Fuzz, Fuzz, the Hippie parents are mine. Fuzz, Fuzz.

Becky: Hey, you look like a pickle!

Pickle boy: Hey, you look like a dyke!

Becky: WAHHHHH! Can I talk to the granny?

Kari: Hello dear. Oh! Just a second. Voldemort! Now look what you’ve done! There’s blood all over the brand new black carpet! Now be a good boy and clean it up and take that Harry boy’s corpse out to the pond.

Voldemort: Graaanny! I don’t want to!

Kari: Well, you’ll do it or you won’t get any Bertie Bott Beans!

Voldemort: *begins to cry* *drags Harry Potter out like a potato sack* But I want some beans!

Kari: How about this, if you clean up this mess, I’ll take you and some of your little deatheater friends to McDonalds for some McFlurries.

Voldemort: Oh Fine, Wallybongydoo! *Harry’s corpse zooms out the window and into the pond*

Kari: *picks up telephone again* Hello Becky! I’m sorry if you can’t understand me very well. I’m eating a peach that I found running across the floor screaming nonsense about fuzz and relatives.

Becky: Okay…

Connie the Peach: Fuzz, Fuzz, Fuahhhhhhhh! OUCH!

1 Anna: *hits Becky over the head with a frying pan*

Amy: Yah! Quit hogging the phone line!

Kate: *hits Amy over the head with a rolled up poster of the hot, sexy, blonde guy from the Lord of the Rings* I needed some way to destroy this. Sorry Amy!

Becky: *comes back to senses only to chase Kate around the room with a pack of fat dogs close on her tail in the desperate attempt to retrieve the poster she is obsessed with*

Pickle boy: Did anyone know that I am gay?

Kari: You know, I am still here.

Anna: *magically appears* Hi Voldemort’s granny! What up VG Dawg? ACH on the telephone-yo yo my homey! *Dances idiotically*

Amy: *screw you! *

Becky: *still slightly dazed* I’m a bird! I can FLY! I can FLY! Ha! I’m so intelligent! I bet YOU can’t FLY! Muhahaha! *Cackles evilly*

Anna: *hits her over the head with a frying pan*

Kari: You suck Kater!