Kathryn Wetzel


Note to Reader: I entitle this paper "I Will Be Your Perfect First Date". Please make note that this is only if you enjoy what I have written in this paper, and does not commit me to any sort of outing with you.

My purpose in this paper is to find a guy that will think I am his perfect first date. Therefore, I will tell you, the reader, something about myself. A romantic candlelit Italian dinner followed by a cozy walk on the beach is most people's ideal first date. I'll tell you one thing, I never want to go for a walk on the beach for my first date, or any date for that matter, with you. I am not a girl who likes to follow the crowds. I like new and exciting things. I would pose a challenge to you on the first date. I'd probably scare you so much that you wouldn't want to go on another date with me. Now, let me tell you what my perfect date would be, and then you may decide if I would be your perfect first date or not.

Our date would begin with you picking me up in a car with seatbelts. Safety always comes first. How could we have the perfect first date if we go flying through the windshield and crack our skulls open on the pavement? For all you blood and guts lovers, that might be your idea of a perfect first date, but it certainly isn't mine.

I have two arms, so I am perfectly capable of opening my own doors. That means I will open my car door. If you do that for me, this will be our first and last date. After you pick me up and we get in the car (no flowers, please), we would then drive downtown to Five Points for coffee and window-shopping. I will look but not touch, and if I want something, I would not expect you to buy it for me. On the other hand, I would expect you to pay for all food items of the evening. You asked me on the date, after all. You obviously expected to pay for something during the course of the evening.

Following the coffee and shopping, we have one of two options. The first option is a dinner at European Street Café. It is close to the downtown area, in my favorite area of town-Riverside. European Street is kind of like a sandwich shop. They serve eclectic dishes, really good soup, and they have a big selection of imported beer. If you happen to be of a drinking age, you would like that aspect of the restaurant. European Street also has reasonable prices. It's not like I'm making you take me to a steak restaurant that makes you pay two hundred dollars for two people. Have I scared you off yet? Oh, yes, one more thing. If we sit down to eat, I will pull out my own chair.

Our other option for our perfect first date is to go to a concert. When I say concert, I mean concert. A loud, head-banging, heart-thumping, good old rock concert is what you had better take me to. If you try to take me to something like Britney "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Spears, *N STINK, Backstreet Girls, or anything of the sort, our relationship is over. I won't even finish the evening with you. I will walk off and call for a ride home. Nope, you have to take me to see one of the following bands or something like them: Incubus, Linkin Park, Default, Tantric, Alien Ant Farm, Fuel, Sublime, The Busdrivers, Three Hour Darkness, Hoobastank, or Adema. If you plan on taking option number two, it's probably a good idea to ask me if I want to see the band before we get there. Oh, and I will open the door to the facility holding the concert so don't even try it.

If you decide not to take option one or two, you have one remaining option. This would be an option that would be acceptable but not preferred. You may take me to see a movie. It has to be a good movie. My favorite types of movies to see are action movies or thrillers. I am a girl, so I do enjoy the occasional romantic comedy. But don't worry because I wouldn't make a guy endure that kind of torture. The reason this option is simply acceptable and not preferred is that I know you will try the yawn-let-me-place-my-arm-over-her-shoulder thing. I like to open my own doors and pull out my own chairs, so come on and think about this. Unless I really like you, I am not going to want you putting your arm over my shoulders. Oh and the door to the movie theatre? I'm going to open that one, too.

I have just described what is required for a perfect date with me. I'm not going to say that I'll make the perfect date for everyone. Believe it or not, I am actually a romantic, so I think there's someone for everyone out there. Now that you're done reading, it's time to decide. If I haven't delivered too harsh of a blow to your male pride, you need to make a decision to see if I would make your perfect first date. If this paper has described your perfect first date, then your perfect first date is me.