A/R: (For people new to my work, that's Author's RAMBLINGS, not Author's Notes.) Ah, so we meet the Canyon Crew AGAIN! Well, kind of. I had to change the names of everyone in this fic because some of the stuff would be quite embarrassing if the real names were used. But Dorney Park DOES exist, and so does Salisbury Middle School (unfortunately). In fact, ALL of the places in the story exist. I only changed the names of the CHARACTERS. There's a lot of stuff in here that doesn't really belong to me, like South Park, "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" Of course, I kinda changed it for this. Nobody's going to want to sue lil ol' me anyway, right? I hope.

Alright, now go ahead and read the story. I hope you enjoy it! I know everyone who has read it so far did!

Adventures of the Canyon Crew and Friends

One day I was at Dorney Park with my friends. We thought that it would just be another day of Joe-stalking, bad singing and romping around the park. We were wrong. Dead wrong.

The sunny Tuesday morning was a scorcher. That was excuse enough for us to visit our dear friend (or so we wish), Joe at Thunder Canyon.

We got in the line for the ride, which seemed quite short. In a few seconds, we learned why. I didn't mean to eavesdrop (if there is such a thing at Dorney), but I overheard Trevor (another employee) talking to another person waiting in line about it.

"...Someone must have figured out where all the cameras are and threw Salisbury Middle School cafeteria food at them. That stuff is the hardest substance on Earth, and it shattered the cameras. Who could do such a strange and destructive thing? Also, who would be able to get school cafeteria food in the middle of the summer? Anyway, the electrician is almost done fitting the new cameras, so the ride should start boarding soon."

"YUCK! School food? It's bad enough that people eat that stuff, but vandalizing our beloved Dorney Park with it? That's just crazy!" I commented to my peers.

"It isn't that bad. It's edible!" said Beth.

"Beth, you eat ANYTHING!" stated Kirsten.

At that instant, we spotted Darius and Chuckie running towards us. We just got here and already two bad things happened. What else could go wrong?

"I love you Libby!" Darius shouted to her. She didn't know whether to slap him or just ignore him. So she chose to ignore him.

Finally the line started moving, and we get on the ride. Of course, not until after a resounding chorus of "Hi Joe!" could be heard coming from our big mouths. Unbelievably, we were lucky enough to get a yellow tubey thing, not a red one or a blue one. Unfortunately, Darius and Chuckie were directed to ride with us because there were six of us (Me, Julie, Libby, Jodie, Beth and Kirsten) and two of them, and the rafts seated eight.

At that moment, I think we all realized that Darius's mother buys the cafeteria food for the school. He was the perfect suspect of demolishing the cameras. He had access to the food, and he's Darius, so he didn't need a motive. He must have been the mad spammer!

As if to prove that theory, he took a chicken nugget out of his pocket and hurled it at the first camera. To our horror, he and Chuckie just laughed demonically. They must have been possessed by Elvis and Tupac!

"Hey, you can't do that, you'll get us in trouble!" Julie yelled at them.

"Shut up you dumb fro, that's the point!" Chuckie screamed back. We saw that he has totally lost it this time; the bleach in his hair must have finally gotten to his brain.

As we spun through the ride, we all tried to strangle Darius and Chuckie, but the waterfalls ruined all of our attempts. By the time we get back to the docking point, we should have been clinically insane. Even worse, my friends and I didn't have a chance to sing our anthem, "The Yellow Tubey Thing."

When the end of the ride was nearing, we could see the mob of security guards waiting for the ill-fated yellow tubey thing number 4. All the employees at Thunder Canyon glared at us disapprovingly, among them was Rob, Trevor, and even Joe.

As the boat stopped, Darius and Chuckie got up and tried to run away from the guards. They made it about two feet before their pants fell down and tripped them. At least we were smart enough not to run away, because we knew we didn't do anything wrong, so we couldn't get in trouble - right?

As we were walking to the security office, Kirsten commented, "I hope Renee can come save us. Renee! Reneeeeeeeee! Jodie, we need your mom!"

On normal occasions, we might have laughed at this, but here we just trudged on. By now, we were almost to the office. Plus, one of the guards was starting to look cute. That shows how doomed I knew we were.

When we got there, they split us all up. I was ushered into a room by the cute guard. Unfortunately, the security guards didn't have nametags like the ride operators did, so I didn't know his name. I knew he would be asking tough questions, so I broke down crying. I figured that if I was crying, he might go easy on me. And it worked.

Between sobs, I said that I hate Darius and Chuckie and I would never even touch that nuclear waste (the cafeteria food), let alone be their accomplice in crime. The guard believed this, since after all, it was true. In a short time, Larry (which is what he told me his name is) let me go back with my friends. Beth called me a crybaby because of my tear-stained cheeks, but I didn't really care.

After a period of waiting for a verdict, Larry came out to us and said that they had to kick us out of the park for the day, but at least our season passes wouldn't be revoked. He wouldn't tell us what happened to Darius and Chuckie. But I did hear someone singing "Jailhouse Rock" from another room. Could that have been just a coincidence?

Soon we found ourselves outside the entrance to Dorney Park. We would have called Renee, or any of our parents for that matter, but we couldn't because the pay phones at the park didn't work.

We didn't know what to do, so we walked towards the street. As we were plodding down the road, I accidentally let out a loud belch, which shattered the silence. We all cracked up. Libby cracked up so hard that she passed out.

"Oh my God! They killed Libby!" exclaimed someone from the distance. He was very strange looking, quite cartoonish and very two-dimensional.

Julie, holding a piece of cheese that we did not know the origin of, waved the cheese in front of Libby's face.

"Feel the cheese!" We all chanted, waiting for sleeping Libby to awake.

At last, she regained consciousness. Then she said, "Ew! Get that rotting cheese away from me!"

We all rejoiced that she was no longer lying lifeless on the ground. I gave Julie a big hug. While I was doing so, she let out a squeal. At first I thought that she saw an animal, then I realized that I was hugging a bit too enthusiastically. So, I stepped away with an angelic smile on my face.

We resumed our trek beneath the bright sun. It wasn't even noon yet, so we had over ten hours to kill before we would have gotten picked up at Dorney.

"What are we going to do? This is just great; I hope my parents don't find out about this. If they do, I'll be grounded for life! Jodie, it's all your fault!" I said.

"I'm the rational one dangit!" she retorted, "And how is it my fault?"

"You're the scapegoat," Kirsten informed her.

"Awww! A cute little goat!" Julie squealed. She let out another squeal, but it was half scream. I thought that she actually saw an animal, but it was something much worse.

"KIRRRRRRRSTEN!" shouted Kyle. We all think he's psycho, but a story isn't a story without a character like him, "Kirsten! I've come to take you on a romantic getaway to Hawaii!"

Kirsten looked up in disbelief. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't go anywhere with that thing. But this was Hawaii! She's so obsessed with anything tropical, so that made this a chance she can't pass up.

"Heh heh. I'm going to Hawaii! When I get there I can stick Kyle in a volcano or something," she whispered to me, then shouted, "Aloha!"

Just like that, Kirsten was gone, leaving five of us standing on a street corner. None of us believed what we had just witnessed. I'd bet she had that planned.

"Now what do we do? We lost Kirsten!" Libby asked.

"Party!" replied Julie.

"Actually, that sounds like a good idea. Let's go to Ice Cream World!" I said.

Unfortunately, going to Ice Cream World was easier said than done. We had to cross the busy street.

As if by magic, Harold and Henry appeared, walking towards us. Harold and Henry are old guys that work at Dorney as crossing guards by the Cedar Creek Cannonball, the train that connects Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom

"Hey Harold! Hi Henry! You think you could help us cross here?" I asked the chronologically challenged pair.

"Of course. All I have to do is stop all the cars with black tires," replied Harold as he produced a little stop sign on a stick from his backpack. He held it up to all of the traffic, making it possible for us to cross. We all thanked him and got on our way.

"See, befriending the elderly crossing guards is a good idea. Look where it got us!" I said defiantly. My friends agreed; the crossing guards do come in handy at times.

As we walked into the quaint little ice cream store, we saw Elliot amusing himself with the gumball machine. Jodie couldn't contain herself and ran over to hug him. We decided that it would be best to pretend we didn't know her, and we walked toward the counter.

As we drooled over the many ice cream flavors, we heard a shriek from Libby. I thought she passed out again, but that wasn't the cause of the inhuman cry.

"All the M&M's are blue! They're all surveillance devices!" she said. That was more than enough to get us all to run at ludicrous speed out of the building. On the way out, I looked for Jodie, but I didn't see her, or even Elliot, anywhere nearby.

By the time we stopped running, we were in front of the Comfort Suites, and we were totally exhausted.

"Hey people, I didn't see Jodie anywhere in there while we were running. Where could she and Elliot have gone?" I asked.

"Oh no!" Beth turned and pointed at the motel. She needed not say any more, "So, umm, what are we going to do now?"

"Can we go to the Trexler Game Preserve?" Julie pleaded.

"It's a little bit out of the way. I'd say, if you can figure out how to get there we can go," I answered.

"Hello! What about Beth and me? We don't want to go to the game preserve!" said Libby.

"Go shopping. That's always fun, right?" I said to them, "You can take the bus to Whitehall, then meet us back at the front gate at 10. Okay?"

"Sounds like a plan. Let's go," said Beth in her unenthusiastic tone of voice.

I turned to Julie, "So, how ARE we going to get there?"

"We can hitchhike," she said, and stuck out her thumb to the oncoming traffic.

"HITCHIKE?! That's illegal in some states, and I don't know if it includes ours or not! And do you have any idea how unsafe it is?" I shouted at her.

A new yellow Volkswagen Bug pulled over to the side of the road and Julie told me to get in. Uneasily, I stepped into the car. She thanked the driver, who looked harmless, then told him where we wanted to go. The drive was uneventful, and Julie was starting to get hyper. She must have been thinking about all the animals she would be going to see.

We safely got to the game preserve, but after we got out of the car, we realized that the driver is getting out, too. Then he started waving a hammer crazily in the air. This psychopath was armed and dangerous. Who knew what he would do?

We ran from him, and ended up in the llama pen.

"Try to blend in! Stand on all fours and spit a lot!" I commanded Julie.

Somehow, the plan worked. The deranged person passed by without giving thought to look among the wooly creatures. We got up and walked around the property, taking in the scenery.

Julie saw a food machine (food to give to the animals, not human food) and put a quarter in it to get some. The machine didn't give her anything, so I kicked it. I must have kicked it a little too hard, because it fell down, spilling its contents all over. We both picked up some of it and fed the animals.

Then I heard a cry of anguish and someone running towards us. I knew it had to be the driver of the Volkswagen, and I picked up some of the animal food and turned around, throwing it at the person's face without looking at them.

"Katie, what did you do?!" said Julie. I looked at the person and realized that it wasn't the stalker, but Elliot fleeing from Jodie. At contact with the little pellets, he had fallen backwards and hit his head on the food machine.

With Elliot lying on the ground, unconscious, we didn't know what to do. Jodie would soon be appearing over the horizon running after her lost love.

Instead of seeing Jodie approaching over the horizon, Julie and I saw a plane flying quite low. In fact, it looked like it was crashing! And crash it did...Right in front of us!

The plane grinded to a halt, and then the door opened. Out stepped a dazed Kirsten.

Shaking her head, Kirsten said, "Fried was in the cockpit and suddenly got motion sickness. He puked all over the instrument panel, which made the plane malfunction and then the plane crashed. Pathetic isn't it?"

At this point, Jodie finally appeared.

"Oh no, my poor Elliot!" she exclaimed, referring to the inanimate form on the ground.

"Huh? What?" Gibbs said, regaining consciousness, and then smiling, looking at Jodie, "Hey baby."

"What happened to HIM?!" asked Kirsten.

"He got hit in the head. I think that explains this!" I told her.

Then, Julie heard an animal crying out in pain. It was a llama trapped under a small, but heavy, piece of wreckage from the plane.

Since Julie loves animals so much, the site of this poor suffering creature gave her an adrenaline rush that enabled her to lift the debris from the llama.

The owner of the game preserve had just come to investigate the crash, and saw Julie accomplishing this superhuman feat. In gratitude for saving the animal, he let her keep the llama and gave her a leash for it.

"Great...just great...now we have to drag around a LLAMA!" declared Kirsten.

"Shh...Don't talk like that around Paulie!" Julie said.

"Paulie? So you think Paul is cute?" Jodie inquired.

"WHAT?!" squealed Julie.

"Come on, Julie, you know you do. You think all animals are cute, and you named one after him!" Jodie explained. In response, Julie just blushed.

Kirsten, seeing Julie's obvious embarrassment, changed the subject, "Uhh, where's Beth and Libby? They were with us before…"

"They're at the mall. I guess maybe we should go there and get them," I said.

"Yeah, good idea," Julie reached to pet her white llama with brown spots, and realized that he wasn't there, "HEY! Where'd Paulie go?"

"PAULIE! PAAAAUUUUUULLLLIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" We all cried, calling for the lost llama.

"You called?" Paul said, returning with the lost llama.

"Paul! You found…P-…er, my llama!" Julie exclaimed, "How did you find him?"

"I was here with my sister and my mom, and I saw your llama walking by with a leash, and I grabbed the leash. I heard you calling my name, so that's why I came over here. How did you know that I was here?" He asked.

Jodie smiled and said, "We didn't know. Julie named the llama after you. She wants to go out with you."

"Does she?" He asked playfully while looking at Julie.

"So will you go out with her?" Urged Jodie.

"Okay," He shrugged. Julie simply smiled at him.

"ANYWAY…how are we going to get to the mall? We are NOT hitchhiking again," I said, looking at Julie, but she was still staring at Paul so she didn't notice.

Finally speaking up after his initial delirium, Elliot said, "Let's take one of the fire trucks that are here because of the crash. They'll never know it's gone. I'll drive."

Kirsten, Jodie, Julie, Paul and I all exchanged glances of fear. Since nothing worse could have happened, we let him drive anyway. On the way to the mall, we turned on the sirens so we could get through the traffic quicker. Throughout the ride, Julie had to calm Paulie (the llama) because he wasn't used to riding in a moving vehicle.

When we got to the mall, Julie had to stay outside with Paulie, so Paul stayed with them, too. The rest of us went in to find Beth and Libby.

We wandered around the mall until we saw Al walking past us. Instead of continuing on his way, he turned around to talk to us.

"Where's Libby? Isn't she always with you people?" He asked us.

"We're actually looking for her and Beth right now," Kirsten told Al, "Why?"

He smiled strangely and said, "I must confess…I have liked her since 6th grade, and I want to ask her out. I've finally got enough guts up to ask her, and you have to help me find her!"

We all took pity on him (on account of it taking him 3 years to get enough courage to ask her out) and let him follow us on our search for Beth and Libby.

As we walked past Spencer's, Beth's bright orange hair caught our eyes, and we went in there to find Libby and Beth who is talking to Joe.

Kirsten, Jodie and I were shocked. We thought that Joe hated us, and there he was, talking to Beth!

"Beth, I'm confused. Come here, explain this to me!" I said so only Beth could hear.

Beth and I hid behind the Austin Powers cardboard thingy and she told me, "He only pretended that he didn't like us. Of course, he liked me best," she smiled one of her strange smiles, "Best of all, he's only 17!"

I started to walk away and she added, "Now NOBODY better still think I'm gay!"

While Beth and I were away from the group, Al had asked Libby out and she had agreed. Too bad we missed it! After that, we all decided to just meander around the mall.

We found our way upstairs and are walking towards the center of the mall when we looked down to see a guy selling a flying toy helicopter to someone. Suddenly, the helicopter flew up to us and I caught it. Taped to the airborne contraption was a piece of paper reading:

Kate, I love you!

We all looked down over the railing to see who had released the helicopter. Abruptly, I no longer felt my hands gripping the rail, but the air moving past me. The large group of my friends had all leaned too close, and now I was falling to my doom.

My life flashed before my eyes, and I closed them, wishing that this was one of those dreams when you keep falling into a black abyss. All of a sudden, I felt a soft thud, and wondering why I felt no pain, I opened my eyes to realize that I had fallen on Chuckie.

I got up right away, having just immediately crushed Chuckie. His eyes were rolling back into his head, not something I haven't seen before, nevertheless, I slapped him to keep him awake. Then, he held his head up to speak.

"Hmm…mmph…Hey, you broke my helicopter! Gwarrrr!…" Then we heard the thud of Chuckie's head hitting the floor.

By this time, paramedics, who had probably thought that I would be the one lying on the floor unconscious, showed up on the scene. On the way out of the mall with the paramedics, we passed the escalators only to see Paulie the llama drinking from the fountain. Julie and Paul were trying to go down the up escalator to get to Paulie, but they were getting nowhere fast.

I'll never understand how we all had fit into that one ambulance with Chuckie (short recap – at this point, the group had consisted of 10 of us – Me, Kirsten, Beth, Joe, Al, Jodie, Elliot, Libby, Chuckie and Dade, who followed us for some unknown reason). I'm squashed between Kirsten and Dade, whose presence was starting to puzzle me.

"On the way out of the mall, I saw Paulie drinking out of the fountain and-" I started to say.

"Which Paulie?" Ellen asked, smirking.

"The llama! No, the other one! OF COURSE THE LLAMA YOU IDIOT!" Kirsten exploded.

"Anyway, like I was saying, Paulie," all of us snickered, "was drinking from the fountain while Julie and Paul were trying, unsuccessfully, to run down the up escalator."

With chuckles abound, the tension was broken. When the laughter died down, Dade cleared his throat, about to say something. We all turned expectantly towards him, waiting for him to explain why he was there.

"Ahem," he said, and Libby perked up, "I guess I should tell you that Chuckie didn't write the note on the napkin. I did."

I was shocked, astounded…and amused. Then I realized that something just didn't make sense.

"Wait a minute, if you wrote the note, why did Chuckie say the helicopter was his?" I asked Dade.

"He did?"

"Yeah, that was the last thing he said before he passed out."

"Too bad it's not the last thing he'll have ever said." Kirsten interjected.

Chuckie's eyelids fluttered. Kirsten whapped him upside the head with the hardcover book she was carrying and knocked him out again.

"Whoops," she said sweetly, with an evil smile.

I think that was about the time we got to the hospital. Everything was a blue from that point. The 9 of us were in the waiting room, even though we didn't really care how hurt Chuckie was.

We all took this opportunity to call our parents to let them know where we were, particularly mine, because otherwise my mother would have been waiting for an eternity at Dorney Park.

After some time, Julie and Paul emerged into the waiting room.

"You made it!" I exclaimed.

"Where's Paulie?" Kirsten probed.

"We left him with a patient on another floor. He said his name was, uhh…" Julie paused, trying to think of his name.

"It was Mr. Benson," Paul said, "He was really weird. His eyes kept dilating. I don't know why, but it bothered me."

Kirsten and I were wide eyed. It was nice to have the llama around for a while…

"Oh yeah, on the way over here, we found Kyle's room. Shall we pay him a visit?" Julie didn't even wait for an answer and started leading the way with Paul.

Dade and I, Joe and Beth, Libby and Al, Jodie and Elliot, and Kirsten followed Julie and Paul, not sure what to expect when we got to the room.

When we got there, we just saw a white blob on the bed. Among the covers was Kyle, in a body cast. We all tried to suppress laughter.

We milled about in the room for a while, trying to awake Kyle. During this time, Kirsten was examining something on the wall.

Curiously, she wondered aloud, "I wonder what this button does," just before she pressed it…

THE END