The School From Hell and Its Trip Through Revampnation

*Michael Jackson's "Thriller" plays in background*
EVIL PRINCIPAL: Miss Eville, those two students are making a mockery of this school, be
sure that they don't make it out of first period alive...
MISS EVILLE: Yes, sir, I won't let you down.
*show cafeteria*
PREPPY CHEERLEADER: So, like, are you sure you don't want to do anything tonight?
?: Do you know who I am?
PREPPY CHEERLEADER: The new kid, right? I heard your dad makes a million a year...so,
wanna fuck?
?: Spike...
SPIKE: *pulls a telephone out from under coat* Need help, Felix?
FELIX: Ja.
SPIKE: Okay. *points* LOOK OVER THERE! OUT THE WINDOW!
PREPPY CHEERLEADER: What! What is it! I wanna see!
SPIKE: *hits her with the phone and it knocks her out*
FELIX & SPIKE: And another one bites the dust!
FELIX: Let's jet before we're caught.
SPIKE: Good idea.
*they hide under a table until first period starts*
*Physics class*
MR. IHAVEASTICKUPMYASS: Felix McKadden? McKadden? McKadden? McKadden? No? Okay...
*later*
MR. IHAVEASTICKUPMYASS: Spike Spiegel? Spiegel? Spiegel? Spiegel? Spiegel? No?
*cafeteria*
FELIX: Wow...
SPIKE: Look, a magic eye.
FELIX: Yeah, they're having that art convention today.
SPIKE: What is it!?
FELIX: A sailboat.
SPIKE: WHAT!? ...I don't see it.
FELIX: Well, keep looking.
SPIKE: ...
FELIX: *smashes a can against his head to crush it* *chucks it across the room and into
the trash* Ich bin nummer eins!
SPIKE: Shhh! Concentrating...
FELIX: ...you do that. I'll be back man, gotta go potty.
SPIKE: Gotcha.
*camera pans back to show a freakish person lurking in shadows*
FREAKISH KID: Now young rebel...you shall die! *leaps out to pounce on Felix*
FELIX: Oh...boot untied. *kneels just in time to miss the leap*
FREAKISH KID: Ahhh! *falls down a set of stairs*
FELIX: *watches him tumble* That's got to hurt. *shrugs and walks off*
*TO BE CONTINUED!*