1 A Satire on Suicidal Tendencies I

This morning I scorched my pancakes.

A meaningless mistake,

But what I could see

In those blackened cakes, three,

Was a reason to never again wake.

I wanted to end my existence

To continue was pointless to me.

My A.M. sustenance,

Like my life, went bust, and hence

Do you slash horizon, or vertically?

No beliefs, no relief, cavities in my teeth

Aesthetically challenged, point being

If I couldn’t make breakfast

Then my life was a wreck, rest

Was in suicide, the end of my feeling.

I ran the hot water into my tub

Climbed inside, plugged the toaster in next to me,

Set two slices to toast,

And got ready to roast,

The appliance would set my soul free

But before I could finish the job,

Golden toast popped up with a crunch.

I jumped out and ate my breakfast hastily,

Let me tell you that the toast was quite tasty.

Suicide would have to wait until lunch.