Joy. Pure joy. All my dismal obstacles are forgotten in seconds. Ecstatic excitement erupts within my once battered being. All this positive energy just because I'm meeting you after school. Sometimes I have moments of such happiness I feel like I'm in some place magical. Every moment I spend with you is one of those moments. You'd be surprised how much you mean to me. After all we've been trough together were still the best of friends.
It all began five years ago. You were still blonde then. You always smiled in those days. You lived in your own world. An aura of uniqueness followed your every footstep. It made you glow, made you shine, made you the Katy I'm glad to have back. We spent our first memories in a foreign land where you longed for home. You wept and I ran next door in hopes to wipe away your tears. You were a generally happy girl so it wasn't difficult for me to but a smile back on your pale face. Call it your first dosage of homesickness or a transition into womanhood but you weren't the same after those precious three weeks were over. In France was where we met and established a friendship that distance nor depression could tear apart. I didn't know it then but when that 747 landed it left a part of you behind. It was to be another year before we would see each other again.
Ninth grade began. A year full of new friends and unpredicted possibilities. I met a couple new people but no one pulling on the heartstrings looking for a friend. It wasn't until lunch the next day that my gaze feel upon you. I spotted you sitting in your usual aura of optimism that often made me jealous. You smiled and I said hello. We chatted and laughed but it wasn't the same. You weren't the same. In the next few months we reunited our covalent friendship and I learned more about you than I care to remember. I recall your plastered on smile, your believable false happiness, and your brilliant lies. You fooled the world, and even me for a while. Unfortunately, the fairy tale reputation everyone thought you had didn't exist. Sadly, what did exist and in a multitude of ways was overwhelming heartbreak and sorrow. Certain loves went unreciprocated and society demanded a skinnier figure. You began your descent on an endless downward spiral. Once again I was there by your side, just as you were mine. I discovered that it wasn't easy to dry your tears anymore. I felt as if I failed you. This sense of failure was my own one way ticket on a derailed train.
You carried on for the next few months and hid your frown. Behind your smiles you softly sobbed and I felt my own heartbreak because I couldn't fix everything for you. Winter turned to spring and you still tried to take on the world with a deeper depression. We both turned into clowns. We painted on a happy face and disguised our lives in the stories of others. I was to be known as Princess Laya and you were Zoya, the strongest fighter of the force. Our object of affection, and unbelievable pain, was referred to as Han Solo. We weren't your average teenage girls who wrote notes in sparkle pens with each others name decorated on top. Instead, you and I wrote a story. In a collaborative effort, we rewrote Star Wars. Zoya poured her heart out in novel format and Laya sympathized in return as she too had fallen for Han. New chapters were written everyday as we had much to vent about. Looking back I laugh, no one understood our story except the two of us. I think I wanted it that way.
School ended and summer came into full swing. I'm not sure why but we didn't keep in touch to much. Sure I rode by every now and then but for the moment the story of Laya and Zoya was on hold. I thought about you though. I constantly worried and wondered how you were and questioned who was around to comfort you. I spent those hot summer days at school with a flag while at home you cried and broke down. Colorguard demanded the most of my time and you were set on the backburner. This wasn't by choice of course, but I was already committed. And so I spun through anger and I twirled through pain.
An invitation came up the week before tenth grade began and we both accepted. Our friend asked is we could join her on a weekend trip to Tobermory. Neither of us knew what we were in store for. The vacation of a lifetime was what that three-day escape turned out to be. It seemed that because we were together the beasts of the underworld gave in to letting us continue smiling. The hours driving to Canada flew by as we told our most personal stories without fear. We compared scars and I shared my deepest of secrets without feeling like an exposed nerve. You and I climbed rocks and dove off 10-foot high platforms into the cool, clear, refreshing water below. The surrounding scenery was breathtakingly beautiful. For the time being I was in my personal utopia with the best friend I'd ever have. We swam for hours and ate like pigs. Neither of us had a care in the world. The days were similar to our time in France when everything seemed perfect. I felt like a mermaid as I swam in a sea of utter perfection. The frothy waves crashed against the shore and I felt infinite. In the paradise of each other's company, I wished we would stay forever. At night you and I lay upon the picnic tables and gazed at the picturesque stars above. Neither of us spoke. Consumed in the bliss of the moment we simply smiled and cherished each other's presence. The time soon came to drive home but the feeling of exhilaration had not yet begun to fade. The music of Josh Joplin and Rufus W. got us home. Then you danced to the tune of Reel Big Fish and I to the rhythm of The Get Up Kids. This passion and connection through music was a foreshadowing for future times of the same exuberance.
School inevitably began just as I knew it would. I didn't have any classes with you and I felt franticly hopelessly lost. I wasn't about to feel sorry for myself and bask in my own self-pity; you taught me better than that. Instead, I stopped myself from drowning in broad daylight. I guess you could say Laya forgot Han but I doubt it. Perhaps not seeing him so much was part of it but I felt my face break through the surface and I could finally breath on my own. The days were full of childish games and carefree endeavors. Life was once again the perfect world I was used to so long ago. I was free of my guilded cage and so I heard, you were too. My day to day routine was virtually flawless but I missed being able to share it with you. It hurt that one of my truest friends wasn't around anymore.
Just yesterday, I was looking through some pictures of us in Tobermory and I thought to myself, "I wonder what she's up to nowadays." I shrugged the idea off because I knew you had beaten your demons and begun to smile with no strings attached.
Our close friendship has faded into a radio request-line relationship. You worked the eight to eleven shifts every Friday for the school radio station. I was one of the only crazy kids to call in and request a song. You picked up the telephone and played my songs week after week. I never saw you anymore so I treasured the moments that I could hear your voice on the air. I confess that I sometimes recorded your shows so that I could play then when I was down and listen to your laugh. One night you played a song and dedicated it to me. I felt so needed and so special because not too many of my friends care about me enough to do those things for me. I turned on the tape recorder and let our new theme song play. The song was titled Metal and Steel, by Bob Schneider. Brilliant metaphors and beautiful lyrics ran through the radio and I realized how close this song hit to home. I closed my eyes and let the music take me to you. Listening to that song reminds me how much we mean to each other and it never fails to put a smile on my face. I've discovered that music is ecstasy. It is the voice of angles. Music has powers words cannot express. And so you and I lived through music much like we did the summer before.
I went online for the first time in quite awhile and ironically you came on at the very same time. An instant message from beatrice1546 popped up on my screen and I read, "Hey Twit, it's been awhile. How are you?" Tears of immense happiness began to fall down my cheek. I wrote an instant reply, "Hey Katy," was all I said. I didn't bother to sum up my feelings because she already knew them. Its not everyday you find a best friend who will always be there for you and its nearly impossible to find a story book character who understands you perfectly before you've even begun to speak. I've had my rough times and lived trough more nervous breakdowns than I care to remember but in the end I turned out alright. I am every good thing I am today because you have been there for me through think and thin. I owe my life to you and that's why I am feeling so joyous and lighthearted at the moment. Were finally getting together and I can't wait. Thank you for giving my story a happy ending. I love you Zoya and as we have written so many times, "may flights of angles sing thee to thine sleep."