It’s always there, right when you need it.

That blessed Hollywood.

It’s always dependable.

Hero always wins.

Bad guy always gets what’s coming to him.

Always.

Always when you need it.

No matter how bad the day’s been,

No matter how bad you bombed the test,

TV’s over there, turn it on

And here’s that movie, right on schedule.

Always predictable,

That blessed Hollywood.

And when bad things happen,

Your dog dies, you break up,

Hollywood comes on.

A movie you love so much

It hurts to be on the side

Watching the actors carry out their lives

And when he dies,

When she grows old,

After the Grail is found,

End credits roll, and show’s over.

But

Rewind the tape,

And they’re young again

All of them

There together

On the bridge of the Enterprise,

Around the Round Table

Always and forever.

And you â€" where do you belong

In all this?

Hollywood has no sympathy for you

Because on the screen, you’re eternal

And the audience’s problems don’t matter

To the actors on screen

That is when Hollywood is damnable

When you’re alone, on your couch

Watching any movie â€" name any one

If it’s got a girl and a guy,

You’re hurting

Because they’re together

And you’re not

And you care about their problems

And they don’t care about yours

Tough sh*t â€" that’s life.

But when your world

Revolves around them,

And they are unaware of yours,

That’s the real problem

With that blessed, damnable

Hollywood.