7ALIEN: Whoa. Look at them. So Shallow and Stupid.
ALIEN 2: Not worth our time. Anal probe 'em.
FELIX: Hiya.
ALIEN: Whoa, look at her.
ALIEN 2: Hmm...you're right. She's a nutball. Anal probe.
FELIX: No you may not probe my ass without permission!
ALIEN: She doesn't want us to, sir.
ALIEN 2: Why are you even asking? We're a superior race!
FELIX: That's what the Nazis said and look what happened to them!
ALIEN: She's got a point, sir..
ALIEN 2: Oh fine. Let her go. Anal probe that boy named Tell. Oh, and beat him with a metal baseball bat while you're at it.
ALIEN: Why?
ALIEN 2: Because he's Shallow and Stupid.
ALIEN: Alrighty. *pulls out a metal baseball bat* Wait, do you want me to probe him or beat him first?
ALIEN 2: What difference does it make?
FELIX: Go on the safe side and do both at once.
ALIEN: I like your style. XD *departs*
FELIX: ...
ALIEN 2: ...
FELIX: ...
ALIEN 2: Why are you still here?
FELIX: Fuck if I know.
ALIEN 2: How did you GET here?
FELIX: HALT DIE KLAPPER!
ALIEN 2: DANKE SCHON!
FELIX: BITTE SCHON!
ALIEN 2: ...
FELIX: ...
ALIEN 2: My name is Bill.
*elsewhere*
ALIEN: Yoo hoo..! Tell...! *looking around* C'mere boy...*taps tip of bat against palm* *stops a random person on the street*
RANDOM PERSON: What?
ALIEN: Are you or do you know where Tell is?
RANDOM PERSON: No...
ALIEN: Goddamnit! *anal probes 'em*
RANDOM PERSON: OH CHRIST ALMIGHTY! My poor rectum!
ALIEN: *hits them with baseball bat, sending them down a hill*
RANDOM PERSON: OH GOOOOoooooodddd...!
ALIEN: ... *whistles* Oh TeeeeEEEEEellllll...
*elsewhere*
SKIP: ...*eats a marshmellow*
RANDOM PERSON: *rolls down the sidewalk that's in front of the cafe she's in* God, my anus!
SKIP: ...That's not something you see everyday. *eats a marshmellow*
*elsewhere*
BILL: These are our regeneration tanks.
FELIX: Like on DBZ.
BILL: WTF? No. Not like DBZ.
FELIX: Oh. Ok. Show me more, Bill. I'm intrigued.
BILL: Next up is Elvis.
FELIX: Oh goody. An old rotting corpse.
BILL: He's not dead.
FELIX: I reiterate. An old rotting corpse.
BILL: Why me?
FELIX: Why not?
*elsewhere*
ALIEN: Tell?
TELL: Show?
ALIEN: ...
TELL: HA! HA! HA!
ALIEN: *pulls out clipboard and pen* Let's see...responded to Tell..check...laugh highly annoying..check...and Shallow and Stupid..check. *puts clipboard away* I see. It's nice to meet you.
TELL: What?
*elsewhere*
SKIP: *walking down the street* *eats a marshmellow* *stops at a bus stop* *eats a marshmellow*
RANDOM PERSON: LORD HAVE MERRRCCCccccyyyy...! *rolls down the hill*
SKIP: ... *eats a marshmellow* Definitely not something you see everyday. *eats a marshmellow*
ANOTHER RANDOM PERSON: Hello, my name is Walter.
SKIP: ... *eats a marshmellow* *chewchew*
WALTER: I just thought I'd say hello since we seem to be the only two rational people left in the city.
SKIP: Really. Why is that?
WALTER: Aliens made their existence known to us. Everything's in chaos.
SKIP: *eats a marshmellow* Reeeaaally. *watches riots ensue* I thought an airborn virus that attacked stupid people and enlarged their stupidity gland had come into existence.
WALTER: Stupidity and riots are two different things.
SKIP: ...
WALTER: I shouldn't have said that, should I.
SKIP: *eats a marshmellow*
*elsewhere*
BILL: And here's where we meditate.
FELIX: Like on DBZ.
BILL: ...
FELIX: ...
BILL: WHAT THE FUCK! We've only been on this tour for five minutes and you've managed to mention "DBZ" at least thirty numerous times! THIS IS NOTHING LIKE DBZ!
FELIX: My mistake.
BILL: Damn right! And I think you've overstayed your welcome, so if you'll just hold still while I-
FELIX: I want to be a stockholder.
BILL: What?
FELIX: I want to invest in your cooperation.
BILL: We're a legion, a race of superior aliens with high intelligence, not a coorperation.
FELIX: Bullshit.
BILL: *sighs* Yes. Yes, that's so true.
FELIX: Thought so.
BILL: You can't even pay for the stock though!
FELIX: What's the currency?
BILL: Funny thing..we don't even remember the name. Each coin consists of a large triangle 100,000 kilometers in length.
FELIX: *reaches into her pocket* I have my keys, Blistex, a ticket stub, a reciept...fifty-two cents in change and pocket lint.
BILL: ...
FELIX: *raises an eyebrow*
BILL: That'll do.
FELIX: How much does that buy me?
BILL: I have no focking clue.
*elsewhere*
TELL: Oh...god...can't...move...body...broken...ass...probed...*cry*
ALIEN: My work here is done. Have a nice day.
TELL: You can't leave me here like this!
ALIEN: Miniature golf sounds like fun.
TELL: GODDAMNIT!
ALIEN: *cough*Shuddup.*cough**kick*
TELL: OW!
*elsewhere*
WALTER: So I drew up some blueprints and came up with this.
SKIP: Sooo...*eats a marshmellow* What's all it mean?
WALTER: What?
SKIP: Basically, what's all that mumbo jumbo boil down to?
WALTER: ...
SKIP: ... *eats a marshmellow*
WALTER: *sighs* We join the aliens.
SKIP: There. Now that wasn't so hard, now was it?
WALTER: *burns blueprints* Wouldn't want them to fall into the wrong hands.
SKIP: *mumbles* Like the hands of the competant.
WALTER: What?
SKIP: What? What do you mean what? Psh. I didn't say anything. *eats a marshmellow*
WALTER: No! I clearly heard you say some-
SKIP: PSH.
WALTER: ...
*elsewhere*
BILL: Ed, this is Felix.
ED: *shakes her hand* Anal probe?
FELIX: Uh. No thanks.
ED: Ok, thought I should ask.
FELIX: ...
ED: Bill, you may leave. I need to tell her this alone.
BILL: Understood, sir.
FELIX: NO. ANAL. PROBES.
ED: Oh no! It's not about that.
FELIX: Oh, ok.
ED: It's about your stock share...
*elsewhere*
ALIEN: What do you mean I can't play miniature golf?
CLERK FIGURE: That's exactly what I mean. There's a riot going on, I'm just here to tell people to go home.
ALIEN: Well LA-DE-FRICKING-DA! Jeebus..first miniature golf...what next!?
CLERK FIGURE: Well, sir..
ALIEN: What is this world coming to when one cannot even play miniature golf on such a fine evening as this!? How fair is it to me, huh!?
CLERK FIGURE: Oh YEAH!? I WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY!
ALIEN: Quck you.
CLERK FIGURE: That's not even a word.
ALIEN: Neither are you. *departs*
*elsewhere*
SKIP: So we're on the mothership. Now what?
WALTER: Haven't figured this part out, yet..
SKIP: Psh. And why're you not with that stupid riot?
WALTER: ...
SKIP: ...
WALTER: Bitch.
SKIP: Brat. *eats a marshmellow*
*elsewhere*
FELIX: So what are you trying to say?
ED: Welcome to a life of freeloading?
FELIX: Fuck I rock.
ED: That you do.
*elsewhere*
ALIEN: Hey. Are you Shallow and Stupid?
SKIP: No.
ALIEN: You?
WALTER: No.
SKIP: He lies.
ALIEN: I see. *anal probes*
WALTER: OH GOD, WHY!?
SKIP AND FELIX: Why not?
SKIP: *looks at her* ...
FELIX: *looks back* ...
SKIP: ...
WALTER: *flails* OH GOD!
ALIEN: ...
SKIP: ...
FELIX: ... *eats a marshmellow*
SKIP: ...
FELIX: ...
SKIP: Those are mine.
FELIX: *chewchew*
SKIP: *narrows eyes*
ALIEN: Probe?
WALTER: GET IT OUT! *runs in little circles*
*elsewhere*
TELL: *cry*
*elsewhere*
SKIP: BRAT! *pounces on Felix*
FELIX: AH! FRIGGI' WOLLACKS! *fight ensues, dust cloud arises*
ED: Now this is interesting.
ALIEN: You know, my name is Jack.
WALTER: A baseball bat is better than this torture!
JACK: What? You want me to probe your ass with a baseball bat?
WALTER: NOOOOOOOO!
JACK: Yes?
ED: For christ's sake..remove the anal probe from that young gentleman!
JACK: Why?
ED: You're giving us aliens a bad name.
JACK: True...ok, hold still.
WALTER: Ok.
SKIP: DIE! *throttle*
FELIX: *choke* Hargh..hargh..(Attempted laugh while having air supply cut off.)
SKIP: DIE!
FELIX: *eats a marshmellow*
SKIP: WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?
FELIX: *CHEWCHEW*
SKIP: Psh. Ok. Fine. You broke my spirit. You win.
FELIX: *chewchew*
SKIP: You proved your point, you can stop that now!
FELIX: For fuck's sake..I only wanted a marshmellow.
SKIP: ...
FELIX: ...
TELL: Hello.
FELIX: GODDAMNIT! *takes golf club and bashes his head in* I *thwack* SAID *thwack* NO *thwack* SHALLOW *thwack* AND *thwack* STUPID *thwack* ONBOARD! *thwackthwackthwack* *pantpant* *drops club* A penguin goes "wroorp".
SKIP: ...Holee sheet. *eats a marshmellow*
NARRATOR: THUS FELIX RULED OVER THE GALAXY, LIKE ON DBZ. AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, LIKE ON DBZ. UNTIL A NEWER STRONGER ENEMY CAME ALONG, LIKE ON DBZ. AND THE PROCESS REPEATED ITSELF UNTIL THE ORIGINAL CREATOR FOUND NO NEED TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE AND SOLD HIS IDEA TO OTHERS WHO RUTHLESSLY BUTCHERED THE CHARACTERS INTO LESSER DEITIES OF THEMSELVES WHICH HAD TO DEFEAT ENEMIES OF PREVIOUSLY BEFORE UNMATCHED POWER AND- Huh? Who are you? Jack? I don't know any Jack! Hey, get out of here! What do you mean I'm Shallow and Stupid? And what are you doing with that baseball bat? Wait a seco-OH GOD!
tHe EnD.