Sadness by, Dark Smile

December 18, 2001

E-mail: ayzhana

Sadness

The best friend dies.

You cry, u scream, u want to die.

However, come to think of it...its life.

You feel alone,

Unloved,

Scared.

But the feeling of u looking at your love one second,

And the other second...BANG,

He’s dead.

First, you freeze in shock,

Then u tremble violently,

Then slowly u begin to be afraid.

Afraid to run to your friend,

To find if he ever going to give u another warm,

Smile.

You find out he's still alive,

In terrible condition.

You hear people screaming,

However, your mind is somewhere far away.

You want to run,

Forget,

Escape the pain.

But when u realize it's not going to happen,

It hurts even more.

Like a knife slowly ripping your heart.

You want to cry,

Cry away your pain,

Your fears.

Your silver tear drops of sorrow,

Slowly stream down your face like beautiful rivulets.

You try to think of the best,

However,

Can’t,

As you hear the sirens of the ambulance,

Slowly eating away your joy.

You try to run after the ambulance,

However, fear holds you back,

You are afraid,

Afraid...

You run to your mother’s warm arms for comfort,

However, it is not there.

You are in so much pain,

You feel like you will never love or feel again.

You try to breathe,

But the horror and shock,

Chokes you.

Cuts your supply of oxygen.

You gasp for air,

You begin to suffocate in pain.

You cannot stand it any more,

You want to die.

You wait until your heart and brain dies,

Moreover, you fall on the ground,

However, it does not come.

You have to live and take the pain.

Night comes,

The sunshine,

Disappears,

Opens the gates to the dark.

You become more scared,

Confused,

Worried about everything.

As the cold mist of sadness comes over u,

You feel the tears of sadness,

Roll down your soft face making it cold as ice,

Your head begins to hurt,

Smart in horrible pain.

You cannot stand it,

You clutch your head trying to make it stop.

You try to scream away your pain,

But as loud as you scream,

It seems like nothing,

In the dark,

Cold mist of sorrow.

You cannot sleep all night,

Thinking,

Thinking about the good times,

The bad times,

Moreover, the most horrible second in you life.

You hear the gun shot.

Still ringing in your ear,

Like a tune on a CD,

Which plays repeatedly.

The next day you get up,

As the phone rings.

You rush to it,

As happy things go into your mind.

"Maybe its Austin, he's OK"

You think,

You get the phone as your heart beats,

Faster,

Getting back its life.

The next 4 words u hear,

Are the most terrible words you ever hear.

"I'm sorry, he's dead."

You begin to suffocate again,

As tears run on your face,

You drop the phone with a thud,

Then drop on your knees and begin to scream,

"NO!"

And cry,

Harder than you ever did.

You hear the phones *beeeppppp,

Slowly making you blind, weak.

As the words, "I'm sorry, he's dead"

Run repeatedly in your mind.

You see your parents standing over you,

With sad eyes,

They try to give you a hug,

However, you push away,

Because their touch feels cold and unloved,

To your body.

You run to your room putting clothes on,

You put your shoes on and run out the door.

You run,

Run where your eyes lead you.

A cold breeze flows through your hair,

Like death brushing against you.

You feel angry,

Angry at life.

Scared,

Scared of life.

Confused,

Confused of living.

You run to the bridge,

Look down at the streaming water.

You cry, and weep as u make slow steps,

Toward the edge.

You want to die,

Jump off and leave all of your troubles.

Then you remember him saying,

"If I die first, be at my funeral"

That was a joke,

You were enjoying life at that moment,

However, that joke stops u.

You look down the road and see your parents,

Running toward you,

Yelling something out,

However, you do not hear them,

You only watch with no emotions.

Just stand there.

You get a glance of the river once more,

Before your parents swoop down to you,

With hugs and kisses.

However, the cold hugs just burn your skin,

The kisses feel like snakebites,

You try to pull away,

However, you are helpless,

You are tired,

And weak,

Then u hear the three words.

We Love You...

As you stand in a cold draft,

Wearing all black,

People crying around you.

However, you only look down,

At the pale green grass.

You cannot stand life,

It hurts,

In the most horrible pain.

As you watch your love slowly disappear,

Into the ground.

You whisper your last words to him,

"I love you, never forget it. Wait for me..."