Birthday Parties and Kool-Aid

When I look back at my childhood, all I can remember are few things; fear, pain, embarrassment and shattered hopes. My first big birthday…that was a disaster waiting to happen. About 20 little kids, running around and screaming. I don’t know what parents were thinking, especially when they invented these party games. It seems like they wanted to kill their children while they still couldn’t read. We couldn’t read the invitation, for all we know it could have said

‘Come to Billy’s 5th Birthday Party; DEATH PLOT! Guaranteed to kill your five-year-old in 30 minutes or less. If we don’t succeed, we’ll throw in a free grab bag! Please RSVP!’

How did they come up with these games though? I mean Pin the Tail on the Donkey? ‘Hey, let’s give our kids something sharp and pointy, blindfold them, then let em go! And then we can give them an anxiety attack with musical chairs!â€