*When chocolate rules the world*

When chocolate rules the world, there shall be no more pain,

And losing weight will never be an issue again,

Dawn French â€" the perfect woman,

And Geri Halliwell â€" ugleee!

Who’d *want* to look that thin? Certainly not me.

When chocolate rules the world, PMT shall be no more,

Because of women reaching for the cupboard door,

No more to feel guilty, about snacking on cakes,

On chocolate chunks and liquorice and cookies freshly baked.

When chocolate rules the world, men will have to appreciate,

The importance there is in gaining weight.

Fruit? No thanks, I think I’d better eat,

Some high-fat, high-sugar, chocolate covered treat!

When chocolate rules the world, does my bum look small in this? We’ll squeal.

Mum can I have seconds? - after every meal.

Great I’ve grown a dress size! Is this food high-fat?

And what, may I ask is wrong with that?

Gyms will be closed down, fitness freaks â€" shamed!

And a child’s first chocolate wrapper will, of course be framed.

Teenage girls crying in the loos â€" I’ve lost a pound!

Fruit and veg in the market? Nowhere to be found.

Exercise â€" thing of the past. Diet tips? Don’t make me laugh!

New books telling you the fibre/carb diet? Well unless you’re a maniac â€" you won’t even try it.

Slim-fast…what’s that? Bulk-up shake…okay!

And women will feel great about themselves every day.

To hell with healthy eating â€" and exercise, and looks!

Let’s burn all of Rosemary Colney’s books,

But then we’ll wake up…and run off to do our yoga, and stretches, and running-teams,

For the only time chocolate will rule the world, is in our dreams!