1The Quad-Man was made in Ms. Jamision's 1B Geometry Class by Chris T, Luis P, Evan H, and Rebecca R. This "story" is (c) Evan H. and may not be redistributed or MST-ed without permission. See the Quad-Man at .
It was quiet. Too quiet. The robot scanned from one guardstation to the next. "Pitiful," he muttered, "they're all asleep. They will never know the doom that awaits them." Silently, ever so silently, he crept up to the door.
There was a large, bright label on the door reading, "This is the door that is only to be opened by evil, demented robots bent on taking over the world." The robot thought for a moment, decided he was, and opened the door, thoughts of armageddon on his mind.
The hallway behind the door was deserted. The robot crept forward, trying not to make a sound. Suddenly, a flashlight clicked on, and an old, feeble guard hobbled out, saying, "Who's there?" He looked at the robot and said, "Only evil, demented robots bent on taking over the world are allowed through that door. I'm afraid you'll have to use a different one."
The robot's "ears" blew steam. "I am an evil, demented robot bent on taking over the world! Let me pass!"
The guard raised an eyebrow. "You haven't told me your name yet. All evil, demented robots bent on taking over the world have some sort of name designed to strike fear into the hearts of mankind. What's yours?"
The robot mumbled something at 25% volume.
"Speak up," the guard said, a hint of mockery in his voice.
"Quad-man," said the robot glumly.
From all directions, in Dolby 6:1 surround sound (tm) came the sound of people laughing. The guard chuckled. "Name aside," he continued, "you can't be an evil, demented robot bent on taking over the world."
"Why can't I be an evil, demented robot bent on taking over the world?" Quad-man asked indignently.
"You have a lampshade on your head," the guard replied as the Dolby 6:1 surround sound (tm) laughter began again.
"It's not a lampshade!" Quad-man said, stomping his foot like a six-year-old pitching a fit.
"Sure..." said the guard while nodding his head and smiling.
"It's not my fault!" Quad-man continued. "My designer was an anime drawer, that's all!"
"Really?" asked the guard, suddenly serious. "I know of someplace trying to make a Broadway musical, and I think it calls for an anime-style robot. They might be interested in you."
"Do you really mean it?"
The guard scribbled an address on a scrap of paper in response. "Tell 'em Groucho sent you," the Guard replied, making a show of his eyebrows.
"Thanks, mister, uh..."
"Call me Groucho."
"Yeah, thanks, Groucho!" Quad-man turned and left.
Groucho sighed. "They're getting too easy."
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