(5-9-02)

A cone sits in the middle of the road
directing passerby
Traffic swerves around the cone
as more stand idly by

This cone, it has a yellow tag
it says, "Don't bother me
I must do my civic duty
Please just let me be"

I see this cone, and I must say
it's sure a pretty sight
It's blocking traffic to the left
and blocking to the right

This cone is very beautiful
beautiful indeed
Another cone upon the road
sure is what we need

I find another lovely cone
to be friends with the lone cone
I am feeling happy-ish
as two cones I now own

The cones are blocking everyone
so they can't get to work
For my affections for these cones
I'll be called a dork

I love my lovely cones because
they keep me feeling nice
But for my theft of traffic cones
I pay a heavy price

I am now in jail for
my love of traffic cones
As I tell my sad, sad story
I hear coughs and groans

I wonder why these people
care so much that I love cones
Their words, they hurt just as much
as many sticks and stones

I hear names like "Cone Lover"
and "Weird Girl With A Problem"
As soon as I get out of jail
I may attempt to rob them

They don't deserve their televisions
or precious microwaves
Their insults against cone supporters
will send them to their graves

My only friends are traffic cones
but they make lovely hats
They're much easier to clean up after
than birds or dogs or cats

I'll always love my lovely cones
because they're very cool
And they would like to say something:
"Hey kids, stay in school!"