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We’ve heard tales that were, unrealistically,

Of laughter, hope, and perfection.

But to think of them realistically?

These stories are in need of correction.

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Let’s start with a popular scene.

The prince is to marry the princess.

But instead he runs off with the queen.

Who could fathom such a tale of incest?

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Humpty Dumpty fell to his fate

From his comfy position on the wall.

But what was he doing on that date?

The eyes of many it would appall.

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Everyone remembers the time

When the cow jumped over the moon.

We laugh, but that’s out of line â€"

He was just trying to win back his spoon.

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The gingerbread man ran away down the street,

Just laughing to himself the whole way.

But now â€" what for the old people to eat?

Miss Muffet had the curds and whey.

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The wolf blew the piggies’ house down,

And now he’s on the run.

Each of the piggies now wears a frown,

And being homeless isn’t that fun.

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So now the piggies have no home.

So there’s your happy ending.

And as for that damned wolf,

Well â€" the lawsuit’s pending.

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Author’s Note: I guess this poem wasn’t meant to be too serious, but you could definitely see it in that light if you tried (but don’t forget to laugh as you read it, too!). I purposefully changed my rhyme scheme at the end just so the poem could have one more unfortunate ending to it.

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