She glared at the teacher. he never called on her. he had never bothered to ackknowledge her existance. no one did. not her teachers, not the students, not her parents. she was the girl that blent in with the backround. the girl that didn't have feelings, that didn't care about having friends. or so they thought. but she did care.
she could hear a faint click. it was the close of a lipstick tube. lipstick. something she didn't bother with. she would just be accused of trying to fit in. and they'd be right. she watched as the girl smiled, showing off her freshly painted lips. no doubt the smile was directed towards the guy next to her. typical. perfect guy with perfect girl. creating the social crowd. the popular crowd. while the misfits and outcasts would be separated. all tending to themselves as if they didn't care what people thought. but of course they did. everyone did.
she stared at the guy. same hairstyle as everyone. nothing unique about it. just hair with too much gel in it. he wore the same baggy jeans and oversized t-shirt as the other 'popular' guys. and the jacket. the jacket that proved his popularity. misfits couldn't make the football team. and misfits couldn't have a guy like him.
she stared at him. wondered what it'd be like to be with him. live the impossible. be the exception to the social rules. but it wouldn't happen. pointless years of her life. wasted on dreams. fantasies. hopes that maybe one day everything would change. that outcasts could have friends.
she was in the same class as the guy. always had been. for over 5 years. but she was still non-existent. unreal. just an obsolete object that didnt have to be cared for. bothered with.
she heard the bell ring. but she stayed in her seat. there was no point to getting up. the popular ones pushed their way to the front. she stayed seated. but so did he. he sat. staring out the window. in a trance. as if he was thinking. contemplating the same thoughts she was. but no. it couldn't be. he was popular. he didnt have troubles. he didn't have problems. his life was worry-free. wasn't it?
he turned around. as if he could feel her glare burning into him. their eyes met. for a second. for that one second. but she could see the hurt in his eyes. the confusion. the feel as if life was being pointlessly wasted. she knew. she had seen it everyday in the mirror.
so maybe he didn't have the perfect life. it was a hell of a lot better than hers. anything was. death seemed like a brighter option than staying alive. no one would notice. he stood up. unsteadily walked over to her. a forced smile. bags from lack of sleep under his eyes.
"so are you new here?"
she paused. new? same classes. five years. and he still thought she was new? but maybe. maybe it was a new chance. a beginning. a possiblity for her to reinvent her life.
to be popular. to be liked. to be noticed. a simple 'yes'. to turn her life around.
it had come out cold. it wasn't expected. but she didn't regret it. it was the real her. not a fake. not a phony. not lying to be liked. she deserved better. better than some guy that couldn't have been bothered. not for the last five years. and not now.
a slight nod. a small gesture. that was his response. it was more. more than she had recieved from him. in all the time she had known him. but now he had noticed her. now she wasn't just a forgotten object. someone knew she existed. someone knew her. and now someone would notice her if she ever left.
so maybe the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. everyone has problems. everyone has difficulties. and somehow. all the suffering will be rewarded. but accepting who you are. that's the biggest gift of all.
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