Author's Note: I've been very busy putting together rough ideas for a screenplay based on Dark Envy. I've been working with a publisher named Daniel and his wife Tina. They're just awesome! It's all just random ideas now but hopefully things will go further.

Anywho, sorry about the wait! I wonder if anybody is reading this anymore. *sighs* Please leave a review just to let me know if anybody is putting up with my shitty updating habits. And if you are, you don't know how much you mean to me! *MUAH*

P.S- Three chapters left after this one!

Chapter #22: When the Time is Right


As soon as the doorbell rang, I wondered if I had done the right thing by visiting Blake and coming back to him so soon, storming back into his life so soon.

When I opened the door, and our eyes collided, we embraced and all my apprehensions and doubts floated away. Being in his arms was the only place where I felt safe enough to cry and collapse knowing that he would hold me together.

"God, I miss you already Lee," he said quietly, stroking my hair.

I couldn't speak. I was lost in him.

He held me in his arms, in his tight grasp for a good five minutes before we let go of each other and went upstairs into my room. We sat on my bed, once again I was in his arms. The only place in the entire world where i was comfortable.

He asked me about Charles Abbey, and the people, and he complimented my appearence even though i knew I looked like complete and utter shit. I was trying so hard not to cry, I didn't want him to know exactly how much I was hurting. I knew he would only feel worse, and if he knew that I was hurting, it would hurt him also. We both avoided what had occured between us.

And while I missed his kiss, and his touch, something felt different. I knew that i was going back to Charles Abbey the next day. Staying here and trying to hold our love together sounded splendid but it was far from realistic. This was real life. Real life was why I was in Charles Abbey in the first place. Real life was the Monster. Real life was Monica in Pent Institution, on so much bloody medication so that she wouldn't be compelled to murder my mother while I was safe 600 miles away. Real life was fucked up.

I couldn't take it any longer, I started to shake. I was so scared and Blake noticed it.

"What's wrong Lee?" He asked, his face expressing genuine consern. He started kissing my neck, and then his kisses moved all over my face, and just as his lips started to brush mine, I squirmed out of his embrace.

I could tell he was hurt, but he didn't say anything for a long time. When he finally did speak his voice sounded strange.

"I'm sorry I can't help myself Natalee. I'm still in love with you. I can't take this-being with you but knowing that we're not together anymore. I'm sorry for not understanding you leaving me to go to boarding school a month ago, but now I understand and you'll never know how much it hurts-," his voice started cracking so he stopped talking.

Oh, how much I wanted to kiss him. But i knew I couldn't. Kissing him would make me come back to the Monster and to the life I was trying to get away from. I couldn't live in fear anymore. I was seventeen years old and I felt like my life was already ending. Staying at Charles Abbey, even if Blake didn't want to attend it with me was my only escape. And maybe I was naiive in believing that love would conquer all. Love couldn't conquer death. I knew if the Monster succeeded in killing me, he'd blame himself. I couldn't die knowing he was in pain.

I needed to push Blake away from me so that he could finally be happy. I'd sacrifice anything for him, even though I wanted to be with him more than anything in the world.

I looked right into his beautiful green eyes. I remembered how he always kissed my imperfections away. I loved him more than anything. He was the reason I hadn't let the Monster destroy me. He kept me alive. Nobody would ever understand how much I loved him. This was a love that exceeded any emotion I had ever felt, whether it had been fear, or pain, which were in fact the strongest of human emotions.

I remember I had heard somebody say that all emotions felt by humans were fake apart from physical suffering. I had to argue that. No physical suffering I had ever endured could ever compare with the love i felt for Blake Dales.

Which is why it hurt so much to push him away.



I couldn't believe it. I had just spilled my heart out to her and she replied with a silence which frustrated me an extent she'd never know. It felt like she was ripping my heart out with her silence. Why couldn't she just kiss me? Why couldn't we be together? I was getting angrier and more confused as every second passed, and the silent tranquility was still surrounding us.

Little did she know that on the way to her house, I had made up my mind. I was going to attend Charles Abbey with her. Now, I wasn't even sure if she would want me to.

"You don't love me anymore do you?" I finally uttered. I tried holding the words back but i couldn't. This girl was my life. How could she not see that?

"That's not true!" She screamed back at me, angry tears flowing down her scarred cheeks.

"Then why are you doing this to me?" I yelled back at her. I leaned towards her and held her tightly, trying to kiss her one last time but she moved her head and I got a mouthfull of her short hair.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was going insane. This wasn't happening! It wasn't!


"Because I'm 600 miles away and if I come here I have to face her! Why don't you stop being so selfish and understand what I'm going through? You say you love me? Then why don't you get your ass over to to Charles Abbey and be with me?"


She gasped, her face in a state of shock. "Really?"

I knew that she wasn't expecting that answer when she blurted out that statement in a whirl of mixed up emotions.

"Yeah," I sighed, my throat raw from screaming. "I love you so much."

And the kiss we shared after that fight was better than having sex with Parker eight hundred times.



I was in a state of complete shock. Blake attending Charles Abbey with me? I couldn't believe it. I was overwhelmed with excitement from just the thoughts processing through my head. Blake and I would be together and 600 miles away from the Monster? It all seemed so surreal and perfect. Why couldn't we have done this any earlier?

I heard the doorbell ringing downstairs which shook me back to reality. I figured it was my mom since she always locked herself out. I ran downstairs, leaving Blake in my room and opened the door. The instant I saw my mother's face, I jumped on her and enveloped her in a huge hug.

"Wow! How are you honey?" She asked, after we finally made eye contact and she saw the tears in my eyes. The tears of happiness.

"Mom, Blake's coming to Charles Abbey!" Was all I managed to let out.

A huge smile formed on my mom's face. "Oh my! I don't know what to say Nat! I'm so happy for you!"

I called Blake downstairs and my mom completly caught him off guard and grabbed him, hugging him tightly.

"Okay! This calls for a celebration!" My mom said, and she literally pushed out us out the door into her car.

On the drive to our favourite restaurant, I held Blake's hand in the backseat. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so happy.

Although as happy as I was, I couldn't help but feel guilty and sad for my poor mother who was living by her lonesome. She looked so happy for me, and I was overwhelmed with joy. How lucky I was to have a mother that loved me so much.

I had a loving mother, and I had just gotten back together with my boyfriend. What could be better?

Oh right. I had forgotten. I had been struck by the bad luck fairy. Things weren't going to be peachy keen for too much longer.

Dinner was scrumptious and tasted better than any of the other times I had eaten there but perhaps it was also because I was so happy that I could barely concentrate on the food in front of me.

I loved seeing Blake smile. He rarely did so whenever he would grin, his face would be beaming. I noticed that he had replaced his lip ring and it looked even sexier than before. His eyebrow piercing was even hotter than I remembered it to be. His green eyes sent shivers down my spine. Everything about him was delectable in my eyes.

After dinner, my mom said something I never thought that she would say. The words that escaped her lips shocked me.

"Then night is young kids, go have fun," she announced, grinning from ear to ear.

"But mom-," I started to protest.

I was due back at school Sunday evening. I was already very late.

"No, Nat I am going to call the school and say you will be returning Monday evening."

I gave my mom the biggest hug I could muster up at the moment and Blake was so ecstatic he gave her a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at his emotional gesture. After all, this was Blake Dales, not Elton John we were talking about here.

If only I had told my mother that I didn't think it would be a good idea for me to show up a day late. If only I had told her that the headmasters at Charles Abbey were as strict as fuck and that I'd see Blake soon anyway.

But no, I had to be all excited and stuff. I had to be so fucking embraced by that damn emotion of pure joy that I didn't even think twice about anything. In that moment of delight, all I wanted was to be in Blake's arms. And that was what ultimately cost me everything.



The past couple of hours had just been a big blur. I couldn't believe how well everything had worked out. Holding Lee's hand in the backseat of her mother's car brought me so much pleasure I almost had a hard on. Okay, so maybe that made me sound like a complete pussy but I was in love. And yeah okay fine in a moment of honesty, I had a fucking hard on.

The night had been perfect and when Mrs. Evans, the amazing woman she is allowed Lee to spend the NIGHT with me, I was floating on a cloud!

At the same time, I knew that my little fling with Parker was something I couldn't tell Natalee about. She would never be able to understand that even though I had slept with Parker, I had no emotional attachment to her whatsoever. I felt so guilty but also, I knew that I would never be able to care for Parker the same way I cared about Natalee. I'd just end the little fling with Parker before I left for Charles Abbey. After all it had only been a week. Sure we had sex just the night before and I woke up in her bed earlier on in the day but I felt nothing. Parker would never compare to Lee.

Mrs. Evans even went through all the trouble of driving the two of us back to my house.

Sure enough, like always, nobody was home except for me, Lee and a full cupboard of Kraft Dinner. Oh and a pretty little note on the fridge. I rolled my eyes and crumpled up the lovely message from my so called parents.

From the open window in the rec room, I heard laughter coming from all the way next door. The Jausers were having another one of their Sunday night BBQs. They were filthy rich and being lucky enough to live on Whistler Crescent and associate with other people just as rich, if not richer than themselves, they didn't have to worry about working a 9-5 job Monday morning.

Their fake and superficial laughter irritated me and I slammed the window shut.

"Morons," I muttered under my breath.

"What's that sweetie?" Lee asked, from her spot on the couch. She had already made herself at home and wrapped herself around with the blanket.

"Oh, nothing," I replied and ran towards her, tickling her and making her squirm like usual.

"Blake stop!" She screamed in laughter.

"Okay," I said, tickling her one last time. "And only because it looked like you were having a seizure!"

"Oh gee thanks," she joked, rolling her beautiful eyes.

I joined her on the couch and we talked for the longest time sneaking kisses every now and then. Pretty soon our innocent butterfly kisser errupted into a heavy makeout session.

I missed the sensation of her lips pressed up against my lips and her tongue creating a tingling sensation in my mouth.

I brought my hands up her shirt, rubbing her soft supple breasts. She moaned and nibbled on my ear and then while sucking on my lip ring, she pulled her shirt off, and I unhooked her pink lacey bra. I kissed her breasts and sucked on her tender nipples. She managed to pleasure my partner in crime with her gentle touch. I was ready to burst.

And in that insant, we both decided that the time was right.

"I love you," she whispered just before I was in her.

"I love you more," I replied, fully erect and ready to please the only girl I had ever loved.



I woke up in the morning, on a couch in an unfamiliar room. I saw my reflection in a big screen tv, and reflecting behind myself was a pool table. Suddenly, it all hit me. I was in Blake's basement. Blake and I were back together. We had sex and it was wonderful. Everything was wonderful again.

Well everything apart from the fact that Blake wasn't lying down beside me.

I got up, feeling lightheaded, half-hoping that Blake was upstairs making pancakes or something cheesy like that.

Instead, I walked upstairs and entered the kitchen. It was empty. I was almost disappointed. Almost.

I was about to turn back and go downstairs when I heard voices coming from the lobby. One voice was Blake's while the other voice was unrecognizable yet feminine. I reached the lobby and I saw a beautiful girl staring back at me.

She looked very familiar, and I couldn't get over how gorgeous she was. Sleek straight black hair and a veyr revealing black dress with a corset exposing an abundance of cleavage. Her blue eyes looked like they wanted to kill me though. I wondered what she was doing over at Blake's so early in the morning.

There was a split second of awkward silence, until Blake introduced me to Parker Manoli.

"Hi," she said, not making eye contact with me.

"Hi," I finally managed to say.

There was another moment of awkwardness and I noticed a couple of tears drift down Parker's beautiful face.

I had a horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach. "What's going on?" I asked, desperate to know why this drop dead gorgeous girl was crying in Blake's lobby.

Parker shot Blake a dirty look. "Ask him."

I couldn't believe it. It wasn't what I thought it was. It couldn't be! It couldn't be!

But it was.

Because Blake was speechless.


No. Things weren't supposed to end up like this.

I hated Parker for bursting in on our happiness like this. Okay, so it did take two to tango but it didn't mean anything to me! Unfortunately, it didn't seem like that mattered the least bit right now.

I couldn't even look at Natalee's face. She looked so betrayed, I couldn't bear to make eye contact.

I was fucked. I knew that there was nothing I could say that would get me out of this horrible situation.

I attempted to squirm out anyway.

"Parker, can you please leave me and my girlfriend to talk alone?" I calmly asked, trying not to explode on her.

Parker scowled. "Then shouldn't she be the one leaving? Or was that morning after we fucked all a big dream Blake? When you said you wanted a relation- ," I interrupted her.

"Get out of my fucking house!"

She flipped me off, and stormed out the door. "ASSHOLE!" She yelled as she slammed the door.

After the left, the lobby was strangely quiet. Natalee was just staring at the floor, her eyes fixed on one of the tiles.

"Lee, listen it's not what you're thinking at all," I started.

She didn't awknowledge the fact that I was speaking. Her eyes remained focused on the ground.

"We were both just really high and-," to my surprise Natalee interrupted me.

"Thanks a fucking lot Blake," she said, her voice cold and emotionless.

She headed for the door but I held her back. "No, Lee please you don't understand!"

She pushed me off of her. "Don't touch me," she whimpered. "I can't believe you," she whispered as she slammed the door in my face.

Barely ten seconds later, she burst open the door just as I was crumpling to the floor in tears. "Don't you dare come to Charles Abbey Blake Dales," she snapped, her voice so horribly cold I could barely recognize it.

Then she stomed out of my life.

What a morning.

I wanted to kill myself.


*Chapter 23 coming in two weeks.