No Such Luck

FELIX: Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear meeee...now work a nine hour shift, deal with a bitch who can't deposit at an ATM correctly, and dehydrat! *blows out makeshift cake ala Harry Potter*
TOM: Happy birthday, katze!
FELIX: Fuck you.
SKIP: Happy birthday, Felix.
FELIX: *blush* Aww...eh heh...thanks.
TOM: Oh, I see...
FELIX: You lie.
TOM: What?
FELIX: *pokes out his eyes* See, you lie.
TOM: NO, I DON'T SEE!
FELIX: Well there you have it! You were lying!
TOM: ARGH! I don't see now that you POKED OUT MY EYES!
FELIX: Likely story.
TOM: Do you dare question the Biscuit Inquisition?
FELIX: Yes.
TOM: Oh, ok. Just wondering..
FELIX: Well stop that, it's annoying.
TOM: You can't do anything about it.
FELIX: You wanna bet?
TOM: ...no.
FELIX: *plays with her NeoPets plushies* I'm a dark sadistic abusive type of violent girl, but I'll be DAMNED if an Aisha isn't the kyootest thing, don'tcha know!
TOM: ...
FELIX: Out.
TOM: ?
FELIX: Out of the story. Now.
SKIP: Felix, I made this for you. It's a screwball award.
FELIX: *gasp* It's a screw through a ball will a plaque, with my name on it! *glom* I LOVE!
SKIP: Love what?
FELIX: It. The award. It was implied.
SKIP: Riiiight...
CHIB CHIB: C'mon Felix! Time to celebrate! Buy some porn! Smoke a bowl!
FELIX: By the way you're talking I've already assumed you've done the latter. ...Recently.
CHIB CHIB: Tch, the thanks I get for my hospitality.
FELIX: Don't tell me you're hung up over the "I've known you for a year but we're not friends" thing, are you?
CHIB CHIB: Tch...no.
FELIX: Riiiiight...
CHIB CHIB: *tail thwap* Come now, katze. It's time for-
FELIX: Tools?
CHIB CHIB: What? No.
FELIX: Tool time, ya know...time for tools. Uh, what about time to get a watch?
CHIB CHIB: No.
FELIX: Murder senselessly?
CHIB CHIB: Hmm...
FELIX: Yatta!
SKIP: So..who's this?
FELIX: Oh! Skip meet Chib Chib. Chib Chib meet Skip.
CHIB CHIB: It's actually Vegeta no Ouji, and you have a verb for a name.
SKIP: How very astute of you.
CHIB CHIB: ...
FELIX: Don't you two be asses on my birthday. I'll bop you one over both of your heads.
CHIB CHIB: Yeah, I'd like to see that happen.
FELIX: I can arrange that.
SKIP: Food.
FELIX: WHERE!?
SKIP: At the restaurant.
FELIX: What restaurant?
SKIP: The one I'm taking you to for your birthday.
FELIX: Awesome! Where is it!?
SKIP: At the end of the universe.
FELIX: *gasp You don't mean-!
SKIP: Yes.
*camera zooms in dramatically*
SKIP, FELIX, CHIB CHIB, TOM, SENATOR PALPATINE, JANET RENO, FRODO BAGGINS, SOME DUDE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, A SIAMESE TWIN CAT: MILLIWAYS!
JOEY: *runs in* MOLEY! MOLEY! MOLEY! MOLEY! MOLEY! MOLEY! MOLE! *runs out*
SKIP: Well, that was invigorating.
FELIX: I concur, aber, it's DINNER TIME! *dramatic flash ala The Emperor's New Groove*
SKIP: We have to get there first.
FELIX: RIGHT! Ok! I'll drive!
CHIB CHIB: But I thought you don't have a license..
FELIX: Never stopped me before! Yatta! Everyone in my Audi 4000 S! *pause* Except YOU Senator Palpatine. I don't see no hot b-day invite flashin in your hot little hand.
PALPY BOY: But..
FELIX: No buts! Get out of my sight, worm!
SENY SENY EVIL DUDE OF THE DARK SIDE: Fine. I don't care. I wanted to go see "Blue Crush" anyways! *storms off*
FELIX: He WANTS to see "Blue Crush"? Man am I glad he's not coming along!
CHIB CHIB: Ahm, so...
FELIX: In the car! *pushes Chib in*
CHIB CHIB: Hey damnit! I-
FELIX: WHAT'S THAT!? *shuts door* I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE GLASS, CHIBI. *gets in*
CHIB CHIB: I said-
FELIX: I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU.
CHIB CHIB: What!
FELIX: LA LA LA, I'M NOT LISTENING!
CHIB CHIB: Oh for the love of...
SKIP: Shut up, Felix.
FELIX: But Skip, I already used that gag in the last story...
SKIP: Whatever. Just drive.
FELIX: Ok. Isn't Milliways in some remote location of space?
SKIP: What's your point?
FELIX: I guess I don't have one. *drives* We'll take the back roads there.
CHIB CHIB: Do you think that's a wise course of action?
FELIX: Suuuure. I know them like I know my own, uh...clitoris.
SKIP: ...
CHIB CHIB: ...
SKIP: DUDE, that was SO not funny! Why did you say that!?
FELIX: I don't know, I think my brain has a mind of its own.
CHIB CHIB: ...
SKIP: ...
*Chib and Skip look at one another*
CHIB CHIB: *shakes head* Don't even say it.
SKIP: 'Kay.
*later*
FELIX: What the fuck? Detour? Where the fuck am I?
SKIP: We're lost?
FELIX: Uh...no...not quite. With my good memory I can retrace my steps if need be.
SKIP: We're doomed.
CHIB CHIB: We're lost in suburbia!? [1]
FELIX: Hush up! We're not lost yet!
CHIB CHIB: Tch...
FELIX: *stops at a stop sign* WHAT THE FUCK! RANDALL MILL ROAD! HOW THE HELL DID I GET OVER HERE!? ...Woohoo! Score one for the katze...
CHIB CHIB AND SKIP: ...Riiiiight...
FELIX: Fuck it. I'll take the highway. *after exceeding the speed limit by three fold* We're here!
SKIP: We're back at your house.
FELIX: Ah...yeah. It appears that's the case.
SKIP: We're supposed to be going to-
SKIP, FELIX, CHIB CHIB, FOX MULDER, OZZY, THE POPE, GHANDI'S SPIRIT: MILLIWAYS!
FELIX: Wait, this isn't my house!
SKIP: It's so sad that I tricked you into thinking that.
FELIX: Hmm...wait! OH MY GOD.
CHIB CHIB: What?
FELIX: H-H-HOUSE ON A-A-A-ASH TREE LANE!
TOM: May I point out a convienent plot hole?
FELIX: N-
TOM: The house on Ash Tree Lane is not located anywhere in Texas, but I do believe in the Eastern portion of the United States, such as Pennsylvania[4]. To reach Pennsylvania by car, even driving at speeds over 100 miles per hour would take much longer than a few minutes.
FELIX: There's no way you're Thomas.
CHIB CHIB: Why would you say that?
FELIX: Tom would have NEVER though of such a thing.
TOM: You're right. I'm not Thomas...I'm...*rip of mask*
ALL: *gasp*
SKIP: TELL!
CHIB CHIB: What?
FELIX: Tell. That's his name.
CHIB CHIB: Tell?
FELIX: Hush now, little chibi.
CHIB CHIB: Why I ougha-
SKIP: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE!?
FELIX: Uh, Skip? Don't you remember?
*flashback*
TELL: Hello.
FELIX: GODDAMNIT! *takes golf club and bashes his head in* I *thwack* SAID *thwack* NO *thwack* SHALLOW *thwack* AND *thwack* STUPID *thwack* ONBOARD! *thwackthwackthwack* *pantpant* *drops club* A penguin goes "wroorp".
SKIP: ...Holee sheet. *eats a marshmellow*
*end flashback*
FELIX: And...
*flashback*
FELIX: Then you die. *pulls out blow dart thing* *blow darts Tell's lame ass*
TELL: Oh, this isn't funny. *dies*
*end flashback*
FELIX: And..
*flashback*
SKIP: What just happened?
FELIX: I think I killed Tell.
SKIP: Are you sure? It says here you need at least a sock and a handful of change.
FELIX: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! EAT THAT YOU SODO-MASTER!
*end flashback*
FELIX: There you see?
SKIP: Except for the first one.
FELIX: What?
SKIP: In the first it said you bashed his head in, but didn't actually say you killed him.
FELIX: Well, I'll be damned.
SKIP: Regardless, I suppose you're right, and I have to change my shout of surprise/disgust/homocidal rage.
FELIX: Rock on.
SKIP: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP COMING BACK!?
CHIB CHIB: If I didn't know any better I'd say it's because of the comic relief, but you know, I could be wrong.
FELIX: Remember the good ol' days when people didn't just go out to eat, they went out back and cut off the head of their chickens to eat them?
CHIB CHIB: What the FUCK are you on, katze!?
SKIP: No, no. She's like this all the time.
CHIB CHIB: I reiterate-
FELIX: I mean, a good chicken is so hard to get these days. Unless you go to Chik-fil-A.
SKIP: Felix! What the FUCK are you talking about? You's babbling about nothing!
FELIX: No, man! I'm serious! I mean...have you eaten McDonald's "chicken" mcnuggets of CRAP? That isn't chicken, it's byproducts of some...disease growth, sweltering in the putrid grime of itself!
CHIB CHIB: Oh yeah, anything sounds bad when you say it like that.
FELIX: Do YOU eat the chicken mcnuggets?
CHIB CHIB: Well...no.
FELIX: SEE! That proves everything!
SKIP: What! What's it prove?
FELIX: That omnivores kick the living SHIT out of vegetarians! Fucking malnutritioned bastard loons...
SKIP: Uh huuuuuh...
TELL: GodDAMNIT! I hate it when you ignore me!
SKIP: Why!? You know we're just going to kick the shit out of you!
TELL: Yeah! Why do I keep coming back and pestering you when all that'll come out of it is either bodily damage or death on my part!
CHIB CHIB: But then there wouldn't be a plot!
FELIX: *gasp* There's a plot!? I must find and kill!
CHIB CHIB: Uh...right.
FELIX: *stalks off to kill plot*
CHIB CHIB: Well, it looks like it's just me and two people with verbs for names.
SKIP: You say that like it's a BAD thing.
CHIB CHIB: I do not!
SKIP: Do too!
CHIB CHIB: Do not!
SKIP: Do too!
CHIB CHIB: Not not not!
SKIP: Too too too!
TELL: Excuse me-
SKIP: Oh. Right. How rude of me. *picks up red hot poker, "examining it "innocently""*
TELL: Hey, I thought-
SKIP: Hmm hmm HMM. *hums obnoxiously as she looks it over*
TELL: C'mon now-
SKIP: AH HA!
TELL: ?
SKIP: *jams red hot poker into his ear*
TELL: *screams in pain*
SKIP: Aww! Little cracker gonna cry!? MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
CHIB CHIB: That's great. I'm going to find Felix.
SKIP: *cramcram* You like them apples, bitch!? HUH!? You like that!? HUH!? Want some more!?
FELIX: *leaps in* Quote Vegeta, episode number seventy-three! [2]
CHIB CHIB: I found her.
SKIP: Oh. Splenderous.
FELIX: Splenderous! Splenderous!
CHIB CHIB: Damnit, katze. Don't spout out crap at random and copy unnecessarily like you have turrets or something.
FELIX: Teeny want a hot dog!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
CHIB CHIB: The katze's lost it.
SKIP: What else is new?
CHIB CHIB: Well-
SKIP: Or should I say...Tell me something I don't know?
CHIB CHIB: Which one of those do you want me to answer?
SKIP: Both?
CHIB CHIB: In what order?
SKIP: Chronological?
CHIB CHIB: *pulls out newspaper and reads* Tornado rips through cemetary. Hundreds dead. *puts away paper* And did you know that gender and sex is not always the same thing?
SKIP: No kidding?
CHIB CHIB: *nod* Gender is the mental, while sex is the physical form.
SKIP: Hm. Never heard that before.
CHIB CHIB: A dictionary is a wonderful thing.
SKIP: Indeed, it is. Indeed, it is...
FELIX: On top of spageeeeeetti, all covered with cheeeeeese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneeeezed, it rolled off the taaaable and onto the flooor and uh...then my poor meatbaaaall rolled out of the door. It went into the graaaass where Chib Chib smoked it! Bitches and gentlemen! It's showtime! Hurry, hurry! Step right up! Introducing the star of our show, his name is *sings* Marshaaall! *end sings*
SKIP: *shakes head* Should not have let her buy that Eminem CD...
FELIX: I could've said: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further delay...SCOTTY DO!
JOEY: *runs in* MOLEMOLEMOLEMOLEMOLE...mole... *runs out*
SKIP: Why thank you-*reads line above to get name*-Joey. How insightful.
TELL: Can someone take me to the hospital?
FELIX: How about..NO! *kicks him in the shin*
TELL: OW!
SKIP: Eat this! *crams gernade into his mouth till it lodges in throat.
FELIX: Shouldn't you have pulled the pin?
TELL: *gurgles**flails**gurgles**flails some more**makes choking sounds**flails a whole shitload* ... *turns blue and dies*
SKIP: Yay!
FELIX: Yatta! Score on for the Skipmeister! *hands her a bag of mini-multi-colored marshmellows*
SKIP: Hooray for me! *eats a marshmellow*
CHIB CHIB: Can we get on with this already?
FELIX: Teeny want a hotdog.
CHIB CHIB: Shut up, Felix.
ALEX: Random plot advance!
SKIP: What?
*suddenly, and for no good reason, everyone appears in a restaurant*
FELIX: *gasp* We're at-
FELIX, SKIP, CHIB CHIB, ALEX, STEVE THE CROCODILE HUNTER, TYLER DURDEN, HARRY POTTER, A PIECE OF CHEESE, THE SPECIAL OF THE DAY: MILLIWAYS!
FELIX: Thank you, Skip! You're the best friend anyone could ever have!
SKIP: Of course!
FELIX: Excuse me, I need to use the restroom! *runs off*
CHIB CHIB: Let me guess...right when the universe is coming to an end, you're going to ditch her here.
SKIP: Yup.
CHIB CHIB: ...Rock on. *high five*
SKIP: *high five*
FELIX: *returns* I have returned!
CHIB CHIB: *hands her helmet and stars* There you are, soldier.
FELIX: Yatta! *puts on stuff* *salutes*
CHIB CHIB: At ease. *salutes*
FELIX: I'm so happy! Let's get a table! Waiter!
WAITER: Yes, madam?
FELIX: May we be seated, please?
WAITER: This way, madam.
FELIX: Oh hoo! R0XX0RS!
WAITER: Here you are, madam. Here are your menus.
FELIX: R0XX0RS IN MY B0XX0RS WITH MY S0XX0RS!
SKIP AND CHIB CHIB: Riiiiiight.
FELIX: Oh my god.
SKIP: What?
FELIX: No way. It's...it's...
CHIB CHIB: No fucking way! Is that..Adolf Hitler!?
FELIX: GUTEN TAG, HERR HITLER!
HITLER: Hallo, wer sind Sie?
FELIX: Ich heisse Felix, und du bist Dummkopf!
HITLER: WAS!?
FELIX: Ha ha ha! Nazi Deutschland verlor den Krieg!
HITLER: ?
SKIP: Try speaking REAL German, Felix.
FELIX: Can't help it, I haven't spoken it in a few months...
CHIB CHIB: So what're you saying?
FELIX: Well, I insulted him, then told him he lost the war. And now I'm going to kick him in the shin.
SKIP: Felix do you think that's wise, I mean-
FELIX: Judo kick! *kicks Hitler in the shin*
HITLER: OWW! *pulls out a luger*
FELIX: Judo chop! *hits his arm, takes his gun* MEINE WAFFE!
HITLER: Dumm M├Ądchen!
JOEY: *runs in* MOLE MOLE MOLE MOLEY MOLE MOLLLLLEEEE! *runs out*
GUY IN THIRD ROW: *gets up and claps*
FELIX: *dances and taunts* I got Hitler's gun! I got Hitler's gun! *accidentally shoots and kills Hitler* Opps.
SKIP: Who cares.
CHIB CHIB: I concur.
FELIX: *nonchalantly dances on his corpse* Uh...I got Hitler's gun! I got Hitler's gun!
WAITER: Please take your seat, your meal will arrive shortly.
FELIX: Okay. *sits down* Wait. Did we order?
SKIP: Plot holes...IGNORE the plot holes.
FELIX: Very well. I hope I got something good.
CHIB CHIB: Ok, where did that Alex person go?
FELIX: Oh, he was just there cuz he said he's be upset if I didn't put him in. That wuss.
CHIB CHIB: Oh, alright. Well then..*lights up a joint*
FELIX: *scoots away, puts on gas mask* I'm a kitty, rub my tummy...be my friend and do it again!
SKIP: What?
FELIX: It's a song I wrote!
SKIP: Figures.
FELIX: Damnit, this story is not NEARLY as funny as it's supposed to be, but what the hell can I say? I'm a poor under-educated eighteen year old striving her best to conform to today's society expectations so that I may not rock the boat yet at the same time be rebellious and still be a strong-minded, strong-spirited individual who is a decent law-abiding citizen in a country in which is full with a bunch of people who believe that being patriotic is slapping three colors in a certain formation on their sports utility vehicles while driving like they're crack babies fresh from the womb and have no concept of any real issue because they were raised to believe that breaking a nail or, oh lord forbid, masterbating is one of the seven deadly sins that will send you straight to hell because all parts of religion are horribly skewed, disfigured, and for the sake of having blasphemy, crucified, mangled, and exaggerated that any insanely compatant and intelligent individual finds themself wallowing in a mass of hypocritical sheep who wander about in search of life forms like themselves so that they may breed and fester inside this open wound called the United States - further developing the injury that's scarred each and every individual from the mindless pep rallies of high school, to the inability to mock the whole Columbine incident. It is "we the people", not "I the person", who control this lovely land. The brother of our bastard sister Canada. The big brother with the fancy dancy drinking water over the little brother Mexico. Everything in this nation has us chasing things we don't need: cars, houses, mates, clothing, cigarette lighters - oral, plastic, breast surgery. Fuck you Miss Chaney. Fuck you Tipper Gore. Fuck the right wing conservatives, and the left wing liberals. If you want to get attention, trespass, illegally park, toilet paper houses, confuse the masses, make a hoax, play video games, change your name and address over 2,386 times, eat food that hit the floor and you couldn't get to it in five seconds. Whatever you do, DO NOT PUSH THE RED BUTTON.
SKIP: Well FUCK you really went off on a rant.
CHIB CHIB: No shit, you ruined the ENTIRE mood of this whole story.
SKIP: You ruined it.
CHIB CHIB: *nods* Ruined it. The whole thing. Spoiled. Rotten.
FELIX: But..but...
SKIP: No buts.
CHIB CHIB: You did it, not us.
FELIX: It's my story!
SKIP: And you ruined it.
FELIX: I can't ruin my own story!
CHIB CHIB: Oh yes you can!
FELIX: Name an instance!
CHIB CHIB: Ok, how about the time when...
*flashback to random point in fan fic[3]*
'What's gotten into him(Vegeta)?' she(Bulma) wondered, but didn't question it as he leaned in, gently kissing her.
*end flashback*
FELIX: But...but...how does that ruin the story?
CHIB CHIB: Vegeta and Bulma? It ruins it right there.
FELIX: But they had a kid together.
CHIB CHIB: So?
FELIX: THEY HAD A KID TOGETHER!
CHIB CHIB: What's your point?
FELIX: ...
CHIB CHIB: *grins* I win!
SKIP: High five. *high five*
CHIB CHIB: *high five*
FELIX: I don't have to take this! I'm going home!
SKIP: What?
FELIX: YOU RUINED MY BIRTHDAY! NOT ME! YOU! *runs*
SKIP: Oh..um...shit.
CHIB CHIB: Wait...stop and think...
SKIP: ?
CHIB CHIB: Do we care?
SKIP: Ah. No.
CHIB CHIB: Well! There you have it!
SKIP: Excellent. *eats a marshmellow*
*in the bathroom*
FELIX: *sniff* I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't cry. Super katzes have dignity and they don't cry because it'll damage our pride. All one of us. *sniff*
*back at the table*
SKIP: Soooooo...
CHIB CHIB: Sooo...
PROFESSER QUIRREL: TROLL! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON! ...Just thought you'd like to know. *passes out*
CHIB CHIB: I've seen this song sung before.
SKIP: How can you see something that is heard?
CHIB CHIB: Figure of speech.
SKIP: Sure it is.
CHIB CHIB: Let us retire some place safe.
SKIP: Gotcha.
CHIB CHIB: Wait...
SKIP: What?
CHIB CHIB: Felix. She doesn't know.
SKIP: So?
CHIB CHIB: We'd be in bad conscious to not inform her.
SKIP: Remember Plan A? Remember ditching her?
CHIB CHIB: We can't go to Plan B then go to A?
SKIP: Stick with the plan.
CHIB CHIB: Why?
SKIP: We're not becoming a Harry Potter parody.
CHIB CHIB: Point taken. Let's go.
SKIP: Ok!
*they go back to 2002*
SKIP: WHAT THE HELL!?
CHIB CHIB: DEAR GOD! What happened!?
TOM: What the heck happened in the future? The present is all whacked!
SKIP: Wait. The future effects the past?
CHIB CHIB: Felix.
SKIP: What about her? She would've been taken out by the end of the universe.
CHIB CHIB: ...Except for the fact that it hasn't happened yet.
SKIP: What?
CHIB CHIB: It's in the future, and we're in the present. And in the future, it's in the present.
SKIP: Well, fuck me.
CHIB CHIB: *looks at her*
SKIP: NOT SERIOUSLY!
CHIB CHIB: Good.
TOM: Well thanks to you guys WW3 happened in the 80s, forcing us into an underdeveloped age of technology. Due to heavy casulties, the stock market crashing and dying, the House of Reps being turned into toads, and all movies never making it past "B" rating, the U.S. signed an agreement with Canada and Mexico. We are now the United Republic of the North American Continent. We can beat the shit out of anyone who dares come up against us.
SKIP: By the way, welcome back to the story.
TOM: Thanks.
SKIP: The real trouble is what does Felix have to do with this?
TOM: I don't know. I'm just plot development.
FELIX: DIE PLOT, DIE!
CHIB CHIB: There she is!
SKIP: What in the-!? How the hell did she get back!?
FELIX: Oh. You two. Go away.
SKIP: Why should we?
FELIX: I have the money to make you.
CHIB CHIB: You're poorer than a rock! You can't fool us!
FELIX: Wrong. After you left me in at-
HAHAHAHA! I BET YOU WERE WAITING FOR ME TO MAKE A HUGE LIST OF NAMES OF PEOPLE WHO'D SAY MILLIWAYS!
FELIX: -Milliways, the universe ended. Well, in the process a black hole was created in the toilet in the stall that I was in and I was sucked in and expelled only to be slingshoted through time and space. I ended up in trashcan with a self-aborted fetus offering me a sip of whiskey fermented in nuclear waste from World War 3. I naturally screamed in terror and fled. It was after I ran about a block and was out of breath that I noticed I was still carrying the gun I blogged from Hitler. I sold it and became richer than you could ever imagine. I mean, I make Bill Gates look like the CEO of Enron.
TOM: Damn, I'm impressed. Can I be your butler?
FELIX: Yes. I remember making that promise to you.
TOM: Biscuit scores!
FELIX: Hush up.
SKIP: Well...theoretically, we shouldn't have left her there.
CHIB CHIB: Then let's not.
SKIP: Gotcha.
*they return to the future, more specifically Milliways - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe*
SKIP: Hey! There's Felix going into the bathroom!
CHIB CHIB: FELIX!
FELIX: What?
CHIB CHIB: Come with us!
SKIP: Yeah! We want to go to Waterloo!
FELIX: Why? You guys suck. You don't even like me.
SKIP: Why would you say that?
FELIX: Could it possibly be because of...
*flashback*
CHIB CHIB: Let me guess...right when the universe is coming to an end, you're going to ditch her here.
SKIP: Yup.
CHIB CHIB: ...Rock on. *high five*
SKIP: *high five*
*end flashback*
SKIP: You KNEW!?
FELIX: Yes.
CHIB CHIB: Well. Don't I feel like a sheep.
SKIP: Sheepish. Don't I feel sheepish.
CHIB CHIB: Whatever.
SKIP: So you knew the entire time?
FELIX: Of course, I'm writing this.
SKIP: ...
FELIX: I only have one thing to say.
CHIB CHIB: What's that?
FELIX: T-
JOEY: *runs in* MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLE! THERE'S A MOLE! BLOODY MOLE! MOOOOOLE! *runs out*
SKIP: As you were saying..
FELIX: Teeny want a hot dog?
CHIB CHIB: That's it. I'm going to shoot her.
FELIX: *bop* Bad Chib Chib.
CHIB CHIB: !
FELIX: *bop* Bad Skip.
SKIP: What the hell!
FELIX: I told you that if you'd be asses, I'd bop you one over the head. Remember?
*flashback*
FELIX: Don't you two be asses on my birthday. I'll bop you one over both of your heads.
*end flashback*
SKIP: Well, this story is dying.
FELIX: Yep. Better put it out of its misery.
CHIB CHIB: Time to watch DBZ?
FELIX: Yep.
*suddenly, the universe comes to an end*

tHe EnD! tBc? WhO kNoWs!

[1] Thank you Tom aka yatta_biscuit for this line. Actually the driving scene was almost exactly like what happened in real life. :D
[2] This is a Vegeta quote from "You like that!?" and after, but fuck if I know what ep it really is from.
[3] Quote from "Hybrid Theory", well except for the inserts for the character references. Go read it. *LMAO*
[4] Is actually Virginia.