Listening

you rely on me

to comfort

to console

of course, I'm always there

you can always rely on me

but you're hurting me

I listen patiently

I give good advice

then you leave

but I have problems too

but you left

not caring about my problems

or anything

its killing me

getting stuck with no one to listen

I feel like a community listener

once someone is done

its on to the next person

"she's a great help"

"she's so nice"

"an awesome listener"

STOP!

I need someone

someone like me

someone that I can

pour my soul out to

then they would help me out

comfort and console me

but no one is like that

the moment you start to talk

they run away

no one wants to help me

no one even cares

so wrapped up in their own lives

but here comes another

I put on my façade

"what's wrong?"

no one ever guesses

I've had years to develop

the perfect smile

the one that fools everyone

its not forever though

someday I'm going to break

its not going to be pretty

but no one will listen

no one fucking listens

I hate you all

disregard my feelings

for your petty problems

your everyday issues

are nothing

compared to my depression

I'm sick of it all

my façade

I'll throw away

my perfect smile

will be turned upside down

into the perfect frown

I will be angry,

hurt, in despair

I will lash out

but not yet

another person walks up

my perfect smile

and my façade

melt together

making a disposition

that has fooled so many

the tears beneath my surface

do not show

the painful beating

of my heart

will not draw attention

their distress is imminent

anyone could tell that something is wrong

they come straight to me

'here I go again'

I think to myself

and taking a deep breath

I ask "what's wrong?"