84It's only second period, and for SOME reason, Ryan will NOT leave me alone! He was at my locker before first period. I ignored him as he stood there babbling on about something. I finally glared at him, slammed my locker, and walked away leaving Ryan staring after me.
Uh-oh! I should put this away. My teacher's eyeing me.
12:45 P.M.
Lunch! Finally! After EVERY class, Ryan was at my locker. Maybe I should somehow try to avoid going to my locker all together.
Ugh! Be back in a sec. My stalker's on his way over.
1:10 P.M.
Ryan came over and had sat down across from me. I had gotten up to walk away, but he actually asked me to "please stay," so I sat back down.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Just to talk. You look like you could use a friend."
"Is this, like, a dare or something? Did one of your friends DARE you to start hanging out with the freshman loser?"
He looked hurt. "N-no," he stammered. "You just looked lonely." He reached out to grab my hand, but I quickly snatched my hands away.
"Sorry," he said.
"It wasn't you. I just really don't like people touching me."
He looked a little confused. "O-okay. So, how come you don't have any friends or anything?" he asked.
I shrugged. I thought that question had seemed kind of rude.
"I like my privacy," I stated.
"Obviously."
"Just out of curiosity, is there an actual reason you suddenly want to talk to me all the time?"
"Is it a crime to want to talk to someone now?"
I shook my head. "No."
"Listen, I was just curious, but would you be able to help me out with my English class? I'm kind of struggling."
"I'm a FRESHMAN," I said slowly.
"I know, but I ALSO know that you're in an advanced English class. So, could you PLEASE help me?"
I groaned. "Fine."
"Okay, so I'll come to your place after school?"
"No," I said quickly. "Why don't we just start at this time tomorrow. We can meet in the library."
"Okay," he said smiling at me. His green eyes seemed to sparkle. "So, see ya tomorrow, Lily."
Okay, he needs tutoring. That was his reason. I kind of wish he had sat there with me a little longer. I felt so alone after he left. Whatever, though. I'm used to it.
7:00 P.M.
God! My face hurts so badly! I came home from school and I could smell something being cooked in the kitchen. So, I walked in and saw my mom standing over a pot.
"What're you making, Mom?"
"Chili."
I groaned. I had never been the biggest fan of my mom's chili. She turned around and slapped me backhand.
I think I even have a small cut on my cheek, 'cause her wedding ring hit me. So many times I've considered running away, and haven't done it yet. I'd be amazed if my parents even noticed.
I need to get out of this house soon, though!
11:38 P.M.
I can't sleep. My whole body aches! I feel so dirty! I can't seem to keep the tears from falling, either. It's starting to make my eyes sting. I went into the bathroom an hour ago, and found myself a razor blade. I cut my arm up near my shoulder, so that no one would see it. What I do to me is no one else's business!
Well, I'm gonna TRY to sleep now!