And Spanky the Wonder Hamster:
The Mishap at the Mall
Amber and Spanky had both gotten one hundred dollars for christmas. Amber had visions of clothes and candles dancing in her head. Spanky, having never had any money in he entire life began chewing on it.
"Spanky no! You don't chew money! You spend it!"
Spanky stopped chewing and looked up at her. His eyes glistened and he looked like he had started to drool. He jumped up and squeaked.
"Yes you can get those peanutbutter hamster treats you like so much. I'm going to get some new pants, and a shirt and some candles." She looked at him and smiled. "Maybe I can get some condoms too..."
Spanky squeaked a huffy squeak and looks at a picture of Amber's boyfriend.
"Oh hush." She smiled.
Amber picked up the picture of her cute kind of lanky boyfriend and hugged it. She stood up and danced with it. "Maybe I'll just buy him something else instead."
Spanky squeaked several times and Amber picked him and the money up and walked out to the car. She hopped into the driver side when she heard a cry from Spanky. She moved a little and notice she had sat on him.
"Spanky! How many times do I have to tell you?! You can't drive... You're not sixteen yet! When you turn sixteen you can drive." She smiled complete forgetting the dangers of letting a hamster drive.
Off the two went smiling all the way to the mall. Amber parked in a handicaped parking space. She picked Spanky up and put his leash on. She then placed him on the ground and started walking him to the door.
"I think that little tiny legs is a handicap don't you Spanky?" Spanky squeaked a shrug and the two walked through the door.
An old man looked at the hamster then at the "No Dogs" sign and sighed. Amber glared at him and started to walk faster. Poor Spanky couldn't keep up and was being dragged and choked. Amber eventually heard the cries of pain comming from Spanky and stopped. Spanky walked, or rather wobbled, over to Amber and sat down.
"I'm sorry Spanky, I just got excited." Spanky nodded and got up and started walking again. Amber headed towards Hot Topic but got sidetracked by The Candle Stop. She went in and began sniffing all the candles. Spanky found a banana scented one and started to nibble on it. Amber moved from candle to candle loudly sniffing each one until a worker walked up to her.
"Excuse me miss, you do know that the last three candles were not scented candles don't you? In fact this whole row you are standing in aren't scented." She said staring at Amber.
"Oh! That would explain why they all smell like wax!" She said. "Where are the scented ones?"
"Over there - Oh my God!" The worker exclaimed as she saw that Spanky had nearly devoured half of a banana candle.
"Bad Spanky!" Amber cried.
"This is your creature?"
"Yes, I'll pay for it if you want me to."
"Yes I would like you to." The worker snarled.
Amber happily payed and grabbed the rest of the candle. "I can have this right?"
"Yes so long as you leave."
"Mmmm broccoli..." Amber said as she sniffed the candle. The worker sighed and Amber left.
Spanky began to take the lead when Amber pulled him back. She then redirected him towards Hot Topic. Once inside a male worker there smiled at her.
"Cool dog..." The worker said.
"It's not a dog it's a hamster." She smiled.
"Whoa! Hey there little hamster dude!" The worker picked up Spanky and petted him. "What's you're name tiny man?"
Amber looked around at the shirts and pants while Spanky squeaked away at the worker. She found a shirt that looked like it fit and went to go try it on. When she returned she found the worker running around with Spanky hanging from his finger.
"Ow ow ow ow! Get off me little dude!" With that the worker shook his arm and Spanky went flying into the necklace rack. The rack spun around and Spanky let out a squeal of delight. Amber grabbed Spanky set some money on the counter and left with out saying a word.
"Spanky! How many times must I tell you? Don't bite the cute guys!" Amber said shaking her head as Spanky squeaked a response. "Well I'll tell you when they aren't cute... but if I don't say anything they are probably cute.. or nice... Either way."
Spanky whined some more and Amber agreed to go to the pet shop. The pet shop was full of treats and animals. Spanky became over excited and ran towards a bag or hamster treats. He ripped open the bag and began shoveling them into his cheeks making them ever so cute and puffy. Amber grabbed the bag and him place the bag on the counter and placed him on the floor. She paid for the treats and looked down at where she had placed him.
"Spanky?" Amber looked around. A dog that had been taken out of it's pen to be sold had leaped from the handler's arms and chased Spanky around the shop. The dog being very young was still very clumsy. It rounded a corner and knocked down the snake terrarium. The snakes some filled with new found freedom slithered around scaring stupid girls and small children alike. The other snakes found no new freedom and stayed in their homes like bumbs on a log. Spanky climbed up Amber's leg and further still to her shoulder. He was breathing quickly and the young dog was barking and wagging its tail. The workers looked at each other, then the spilled food, and the escaping snakes, many of which had left the store entirely. Amber smiled sheepishly and ran off.
The workers yelled after her and ran to catch up. The security guards assuming she had stolen something joined in hot pursuit. Now Amber was not an athletic person, her favorite sport was watching figure skating on tv, but she somehow managed to elude the guards for fifteen minutes. It may have been the adrenaline pumping through her veins, maybe it was a miracle but maybe just maybe it was that the guards scarcely ran and ate jelly donuts all day long. Whatever it was she was caught eventually. And of course just as she was caught the girl from the candle shop and the boy from Hot Topic were there. The workers from the pet shop caught up and explained what had happened. The Candle Stop worker overheard and told her story. Then the Hot Topic guy half-assedly told his.
"Madame, we're gonna have to ask you to leave the uh... the uh... " A security guard with a hick drawl started. "The uh... the pre... prem... premi... We're just gonna have to ask you to leave."
Amber looked sad and Spanky squeaked. The workers glared and Amber turned to leave.
"Good bye little dude!" The Hot Topic worker yelled as Amber walked away.
"Well Spanky that's the third time you've done this. I guess I can't take you shopping with me anymore." Amber sighed. Spanky squeaked and reached a paw inside his mouth. He pulled out a peice of paper with a number written on it. "What's this?" Spanky smiled as she read it. "It's the cute guy's number! Thanks Spanky! I love you so much!"
Aaaaaaaw. lol. A little note, Amber is based on my best friend.. but she's not that stupid. I hope you enjoyed it! Now review! Or I'll sick the snakes on you! Muhahahahaha!