21a/n: this didn't update when i wanted it too!i reposted and stuff but hey, screw that, here's another chapter.i dunn care if you're all "yeah this is kinda rly bad" just gimme feedback. oh...i don't own blink 182?and isn't this much better than the first chappie?that one sucked.**************
About eight that night it finally got too cold to be sitting on the beach, and she felt too melodramatic. Besides, she hadn't called her Mum or anyone- no-one knew where she was. She sighed and got up, watching the waves for two seconds longer before brushing her pants of and trekking across to her car, the dry sand squelching under her feet. The streetlights cast a sickly sheen on her face, the red puffiness around her eyes being accented horribly. She got into her car with the enthused shamble of a 97-year-old woman, dragging her feet and plopping into the seat with a dismal sigh.
She felt so pathetic, depressing over herself and her girlfriend. Why couldn't she just accept it? But then , like a broken record, all her memories of Alyssa would come back and she'd be stuck with a sinking feeling in her stomach again, a tightening in her chest. Damnit, how the hell was she going to make it through seeing Liss every day at school? Around town? With her *baby*? She needed some serious talk, but she didn't really wanna tell anyone. She still felt faithful to Liss, she wasn't going to spill her secret.
Too enticing, however , was the possibilty a picture on the dashboard gave her. She could call Julian, he could come over, they could eat copius amounts of choclate and she could wet his tee-shirts shoulder. He could be her sounding board, once again, like the good best friend he was. She quickly got out her mobile and rang him.
"Jules?" She heard alot of background noise, sounded like he was at a club or something.
"Bay?!Hang on a sec!" he yelled back, trying to make himself heard. After about a minute of very loud bumping noises, he was suddenly in a much quieter place. She could only hear the distant throb of the house music now.
"Bay, what's up?What's wrong?" Jules never got a mobile call unless it was pretty bad.
"Jules...it's Liss..." Bay's voice sounded so small and weak, Julian immediatly took pity on her.
"Bay? You want me there in oh, 15 minutes?" Julian could practically sense what the other wanted, he knew her so well. She nodded, then realised that he couldn't see her. God, she really was a mess.
"Yeah. It's pretty big,. We might've broken up."
"I'll be there in ten."
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"Mum!I'm home," Baily called out about 5 minutes later. She lived nice and close to the beach, hence her reason for choosing it as a sanctuary. Her mothers' voice rang out clear in the huge house, eminating somewhere from the sitting room . Weird, usually around this time she'd be in the lounge room upstairs...
But she stopped pondering the thought upon entering the sitting room.
"Oh, shit..." she said , witnessing one of the top ten freakiest and most unwanted sights she ever had. Sitting next to her mother with a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits and even more scary than that, a bloody pregnancy book, was Liss. In all her bloody puffy-eyed glory. Bay was pissed. How dare she come and invade her home, get Bays mother on her side?
Speaking of said parent, she pursed her lips and frowned slightly. "Bay, language,please."
"Mum!You've got my bloody...bloody... "she stumbled, at a loss for words.
"I hope it's still girlfriend," her mother said sternly. Liss looked up at Bay and echoed the sentiments-only much more mewing sounds were involved.
Bay turned around from them both, flicking up her mobile and cancelling her emotional hero, aka. Julians visit. Reluctantly she sat herself on the edge of an armchair, farthest away from the couch and the estrogen-fest that was her mother on a "lost soul" cause with her ex- girlfriend.
"Well obviously you both have miles of homespun therapy to preach to me. How I should be supportive. How I shouldn't care. How it's not Alyssas fault. Well, guess what? I know what I *really* should be doing. And that's getting over her. If she wasn't good enough to tell me about it..."Baily cut herself off then, the hurt and anger displayed in the other twos body langauge a powerful traffic stopper.
"I'm going to my room. Don't try to talk to me. "
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She made it all the way up to the Fortress of Solitude, as her brother joked, before she made the scene she really wanted to. Pumping out Blink 182's Dude Ranch, she attacked her punching bag, installed long ago on a whim, like she'd never done before.
This wasn't in the whole imaginary GayTeenHandbook that she always jokingly referred to with Julian. Not once did it say what to do when your girlfriend was pregnant. When your own mother was on her side. When it really wasn't her fault, you knew she should, more importantly *could* be forgiven, but you were just too damn angry and too damn hard hearted to do it.
As selfish as it was to think it, she knew this wasn't her problem. Maybe everyone would think it was but she held the belief that honestly, she had nothing to do with it.
Oh, f*ck, what was she kidding herself?
She loved Alyssa. And with that came at least a little responsibility towards her welfare. Right? But...Alyssa seemed to just expect Bay to take it in stride. She shouldn't have put that rpessure on her. It was unfair. Right?
The mental tennis match, between which side of her would win out, continued long and hard, all night. After half an hours punching bag she heard Liss open the door and drive off, which sparked new questions of what, if she was back with Liss, would be her role with the child? Would she be classed as some "aunt"? Would she be introduced finally as the girlfriend? Would she and Liss last that long anyway? Did she care if they lasted that long?
And then, Danny.
She hadn't told him. Angry as she was Bay knew that even your worse enemy didn't deserve trash like Danny. No-one deserved the unfiltered rage that must come from being violated so completly by someone you felt at *least* affection for. That you had trusted. It was all his fault that Liss was pregnant in the first place. He was just utterly and amazingly the most hideous version of a human being she'd ever been forced to lay eyes upon. It was hard to imagine why Liss had spent over a year in his company.
Around 3am she had an epiphany...which could also be classed as a forgiveness. Twelve solid hours on the same topic hadn't eased her emotion but developed it. She could identify something now, somethign new and much mroe terrible.
Guilt.
She felt bitter about the way Liss had handled things, sure, but she felt worse over the way she herself had handled Liss.
They needed to talk, not in a one way deal but in a proper conversation. Liss had seen that before Bay, that was why she was at her house. They needed to take action.
And most of all, they needed each other.
a/n: plz seriosuly just to tell me how much it's corny and cheesy and mmm now i rly want a chicken and corn schnitzel...um, review?