60you guys are all SO COOL and amazingly amazing making me squeal with joy, so here's some squealing for : maybeiNEVERwill, who luvs the word ikes, Bitter Berry, who donated plushies to the Make Bienfoy Joyous Fund and made me laugh (again,u comedic one,you rock), MsMonroe, the feisty one who's late for school and will be getting a limo sent to drive her there(well i'd like to!four reviews in one day!*hugs*), aaaaaand I Am The Bunny Slayer, making the world safe for us all with her supreme slaying style(yaaay!a BIU,TID, newbie!), b. (simple name,i like it!and ahh i want a lil seb too) and and and, Mysyifying. You angel of GODLINESS, i totally forgot about that, so therefore half the plot in this one is influenced by you!BE PROUD!i had the BIGGEST WRITERS BLOCK EVER.
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There was a mockery of the severity that was the situation the boys suddenly found themselves in. Morning dawned with a kind of gleeful sunshine, and the nearby ocean could be smelt on the strong- but not unpleasantly so- breezes. Seb was up before it, however, with a bottle in one hand and a baby in the other.
"Yes, you soooo very much want to eat, come on, you want to eat so much it's not funny..."he urged Mari, positioning the bottle at her lips, his faced abundant with pillow creases and sleep, curly black hair mussed and sticking up at all angles, Bonds shirt and boxers ruffled and wet with baby-drool. He looked exactly like he'd either been clubbing, or he was a uni student. Alas, neither-hence the baby in his arms.
Their first night had been interesting, to say the least.
...If your idea of interesting was little sleep and an abundance of baby shit lying around, EVERYWHERE. This house had never seemed so small. It was a mansion and this baby was taking up all of it. And *not* in that pleasant, let's all coo and have a joy-fit way. The "oh my God, what the fuck have I done?" kind of way. For at least, at LEAST four more years, the child would be intermittently waking him with pleas of water or comfort or changing or toilets or problems or whatever. Then later it'd be being woken at three by "I have an assignment due tomorrow I never started, Dad, can you help me on Ancient Greek Palaestras and their effect on the Olympics and what's the meaning of life...it's a 2,500 word essay." Or, although this would be slightly more comforting, being woken at three by drunken giggles and boys in her room. Horny, slimy, gross, teenage boys.
With horny, gross, slimy, "baby-makers". Bringing the arrival of another 'bundle of joy' and all that glory, repeated. What. Fucking. Fun.
Unfortunalty he loved her, so he was willingly stuck with it.
Halfway through forcing the formula down Mari's throat, he had the doorbell ring. For once, he wished he'd hired someone full-time, like his father told him to, to answer it, but he managed to carry along the little girl and turn the heavy knob by himself.
Ohh, but his father was crafty. Instead of arriving with a scowl and a threat, like Seb had so expected, a field of anger behind him, he'd sent these two junkie-chic losers in their late forties, standing pathetically poorly on his doorstep in their grunge and their filth, their matted hair and their snarling faces.
"Yes?" he asked, meekly remembering his own attire. "May I ask who you are?"
"That's our kid," the male broke in gruffly, scathing at his three- day growth and pointing with the hand that wasn't in the moth-eaten once- brown coat. He smelt like wine.
"It's our son's kid," the woman elaborated in a nasal voice, her lips pulling back as she spoke to reveal yellowed approximations of teeth, complimenting the stained white shirt she had clinging to her.
"Excuse me? But this childs father has passed, and his parents are in jail..."Seb explained, fearing they were some homeless scammers trying to kidnap Mari, or be invited in and then steal anything of value Seb had lying around. This was one of the few times he wished to God he didn't live alone.
"Were. *Were* in jail. We got out on bail. We're not bad off, bud, so none of ya snotty shit wouldya?" The husband said, leering forward. He would have gotten violent, if not for the timely arrival of a man in a pristine suit, a smug grin adoring his face, the stride he used one of marked efficiency and class. He walked- strutted- over and held back the guys arm.
"Now, now, Justin, Mr. Potter celli. Can't have the little one being hurt can we? Sebastian, how's about we show a little hospitality to these fine grandparents?" he said, in an infuriatingly jovial tone. Seb held Mari tighter, glaring.
"How's about letting me put some godamned pants on first, you ..." he trailed off muttering curses, walking into the house, silently letting the other three follow him.
The short time it took him to dress himself and Mari properly allowed the odd mix of elders to congregate at the kitchen counter, making themselves at home by drinking the pot of the coffee Seb had brewed half an hour ago. He made himself keep a straight face, so they didn't catch on that something was wrong with it. Mainly that he'd accidentally dropped Maris baby-drool-covered dummy in the same coffee, hence the reason it wasn't already drunk...
His father had obviously shcmoozed the two seemingly legitimate parents into believing that this would be a cakewalk and they had every right to the child. They were sitting with their dirty hands clutching Sebs white-with-blue cups, perched delicately on the high wooden stools, resting their arms lazily on the blue tiled counter. They looked as if they felt they belonged. Seb felt as if he would really have to scrub that countertop hard after they left.
"So, what the fuck are you doing here?" Seb asked bluntly, taking vocab tips from his boyfriend. He saw his fathers eyes flash menacingly over the sight of Mari still settled in Sebs arms, her little face a picture of innocence as she slept in her soft green wrappings. Seb huddled her tightly, protecting her, as if his father would try to literally snatch her from his arms.
"Well, as you so beautifully put it, we're "the fuck here" because we wish to bring you attention to a little legal issue. " He smiled like a wolf, eyes lighting up. "See, these are the supposed legal guardians of the child. The one in your arms, yes? Well, since the child is currently in your arms, they wish to remedy this fact and have their kin back. Now, as you know well and good that they, well, own the baby, you will comply with their wishes. So, hand her over. Go on, be a good little law abiding citizen. We don't want to have to charge you with kidnap, now, do we?"
For the extreme length of a minute, Seb couldn't speak. His brain seemed to close one half- the rational one- down, and all he could do was open his mouth like a guppy. His father had him. He knew Seb would never give up the baby, and that he wouldn't be able to fight was his father just said. He knew that without even absolutely knowing that Seb *had* a baby. So he'd found out how to ...alleviate the Child Problem. He'd done some detective work. Probably used his own personal detective. Seb wouldn't put it past him to have one following his own son day and night, just to check up on him, monitor him, watch his every move and detail it for the personal power satisfaction of his father.
He was shocked at this though. The pure amount of effort his father put in to trying to control Seb. Like it was some personal challenge to take the freedom and free will of his son away from him. Like he made it his horrible legacy to embitter Seb before he turned 25. Like it was the main drive to his day. Nows, he wanted to ruin another generation. He was even managing to do it to someone not related to them. To hurt them in so many ways, hurting Seb all the while doing it.
Seb wanted to lean over and rip his father throat from it's flabby place among the aged mess and scream down the hole, trying to get some decency into the stony, spiteful heart. What gave him any *right* to waltz in here and demand this? What gave him the right to write off Mari? Because letting her back to her parents was a dead end. She wouldn't be cared for. She'd be beaten. She wouldn't be loved. She'd be hated. She'd be taunted. She'd be abused and she'd be ruined.
And it was all his fault.
Why the hell did he involve himself? If he'd let Hayden take her to an adoption agency, if he'd let Will...anything...left her with a neighbour...anything but taking her home and getting her mixed up in the walking power trip that was his own father. God, how much more could he grow to hate that term for that man?
No. No. Maybe he could make something of this. Maybe. He wouldn't be able to tell anyone of it. He'd have to do it on his own, which thrilled him and scared him at the same time- a leap of independence.
So when he spoke up it was with plans underlying, a vision of pain on his face and a pure note of sorrow to his tone. Maybe this would work.
"You can't...Father...please, please, I'm begging you two, just...let me have her? Let me stay with her and maybe even...maybe be her own father? I know it would be a burden on you both, grieving and all...I could care for her..." He made it sound honest, begging, pleading for a last chance and an opportunity to have her. It made his father almost laugh and the other two to wriggle uncertainly in their place.
"Oh, no, this is a totally legal thing, Sebastian. We can't leave this up to me. That would get us all in a lot of hot water. " He stopped to clean his nails and look scathingly over at the grimy couple, still immersed in their tainted drinks. He was doing this all for show, he was only enjoying hurting his son. He gave no cares about the couple. He'd really prefer them to die before he got in a one metre radius of them, unless it was necessary.
"A day, just tonight..." Seb urged, now feeling the plaintiveness that struck out through his speech.
"Fine. We'll organise all this tomorrow, I'm glad you understood. And please, wipe that pathetic little look of self pity off your face will you? It's just shameful. Let's go, Mr. and Mers. Pottercelli."
Just as they were hustling out of the room and Seb was almost orgasmic at the thought of how easy this had been, his father stopped and turned to face him.
"I'm taking your car, shutting off your phone and freezing your credit cards until ten tomorrow morning. No tricky business, then, hmm? Good luck..." he said, malevolently.
Fine, then. That put a damper in Sebs plans, but he still had $1000 in the house, in a giant urn near his bed. That would be more than enough.
He waited an hour for his father to get far enough away, getting all of Maris things together, all her notes and letters and artefacts from her various parents, before he put his plan into action.
He walked four blocks, heading for a payphone. Then he waited for a taxi, and set the wheels in motion.
He headed first for Haydens house. Step one of his plan. He stayed there for an hour and a half, completing it, getting a brilliant result and kissing both boys on the forehead in a rushed thankyou. Step two, and he was by Anges old house. Three... or ten... lies later, and he had it done. Back at home, and 2 hours later, step three out of the way.
And for the hardest part. Seb collected the last bundles of hours work, piling it all into the taxi that was now waiting outside. He wrapped up Mari and kissed her the entire ride they were going, talking in soft tones to her in the growing dusk. The veils of black and blue were settling over his destination, the moon blooming in them, his gorgeous girl lying gurgling in his arms, unsuspectingly sweet and so beautiful it was painful to help her, this way.
He removed everything from the car and told it to drive away a block to his destination. He needed to do this without witnesses. Without people to recognise him. He needed the cloaking of anonymity to assure safety.
His tired and now wet eyes looked over the building with a critical view, assessing her hopes, but he knew nothing would ever be good enough with this in mind.
His tears started slowly but like a rainfall, once it's started there's nothing you can do to stop it. They poured out if him and he wasn't crying, he was left sobbing as he walked away stumbling down the cold road, away from his beautiful girl, the Princess, the unwanted angel. His doubts and regrets of the morning were unfounded, he knew now, he knew all he wanted was that baby. That baby and his Hayden. Those were the two things he cared about in life and he had to give one of them up...
Seb had placed Mari delicately on the steps of the Anna Churchan Adoption Agency. She had all her worldly possessions with her. All her "baby shit" that had been cluttering him home. All the letters he'd just made Hayden, Will, and himself, write. That was steps one and three. Her birth certificate. Pictures, taken from Ange's mother, while he posed as a yearbook student, of Ange and Josh. Step two.
The fourth and the hardest wasn't anything like the selfless saving of her. He wasn't going to keep a stiff upper lip and tell his boyfriend and Will that " Oh sorry, she's just gone", like she was out for tea. He was going to hurt from this and he was going fall. They'd saved her and now they were going to lose her. In so many ways she was their symbol. Their symbol of rebirth and of a new chance. They could start over their own unloving lives. They could give their hearts, give things to her they'd only dreamt about in a parent.
Now they had no symbol of hope and all he would remember was leaving her alone, defenceless and so tiny, such an innocent forever and an innocent never.
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Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
-In The End, Linkin Park.