Chapter #14: Backstab in Secrecy

Vanilla rested her head against Harley's chest, absorbing each of his breaths while they lay side by side on her bed.

"On a scale of one to ten, how mad do you think Allana will be at us?" She asked, placing the guilt stricken question on a silver spoon and shoving it down Harley's throat.

She could feel his breaths slowly start to gain speed, as if it was taking physical effort to come up with the answer.

Harley shrugged, but then decided to give her his honest, sincere reply. "Probably 82,"he nonchalantly uttered.

Vanilla had an uneasy feeling at the pit of her stomach. Harley was treating what they had just done very casually. He didn't seem to feel guilty, when the gravity of the situation was she had stabbed her best friend in the back, and he made out with his ex girlfriend's best friend. They were both in the same boat of shit. She knew that it had been her decision to run her fingers through his gorgeous tossled hair. And to exchange saliva with him. But, she hadn't been thinking of the consequences of her actions.

She knew that Harley was a guy that she could see herself with in the future. Whenever they were in the same room, even when they looked at each other she felt a connection. She hadn't realized that these feelings were not as platonic as they seemed. After all, she was the one who set Allana up with Harley. And now she was the homewrecker.

She felt like the creme de la creme of bitches. The bitches who drew on their eyebrows, refused to wear shirts that lacked expensive labels and stole their best friend's boyfriends.

Instead of comforting Allana, or helping her realize that "insert ex- boyfriend's name here" was a jerk, like most best friends would do she pulled him into her selfish greedy arms.

She felt like shit. She had gone with her heart and she was aware that she was attracted to Harley. But was the attraction worth losing Allana?

*~*

Harley was genuinely happy. The girl of his dreams had just pulled HIM, into HER arms, not the other way around, and kissing her felt even better than he imagined. Even better than masturbating to his pictures of "Naughty Kimberly" his favourite porn star. Throughout the make out session, not only did time stop but so did everything else. His mind, his worries-his conscience. Her blonde hair was everywhere as they rolled around on her small bed, trying not to fall off and laughing every time one would come close to smacking their head on the floor.

But now that they had hit reality, and she had brought up Allana, he felt the complicity of the situation, oh the horrible guilt.

Sure, he had gotten what he had wanted. But nothing ever worked out for him. Something would go wrong. He could feel it. After all, he was Harrison Gates. He had failure written all over him.

*~*

"I shed all over you," Vanilla laughed, breaking his gloomy and depressing thoughs and taking him back to her consoling aura. She picked off some of her long strands of hair off his shirt.

She was trying hard not to let him see that inside she was a wreck. She couldn't take her mind off of what she pressumed would be Allana's probably reaction to what she had done. And that was go behind her back and steal the only guy she had ever cared for.

She felt like she deserved the wretched feelings that were brewing inside her. What she had done went against all friendship rules. She put a guy over her best friend.

*~*

Merry sat down in Darrel's lap on the park bench. Oh, he hurt her so much but sitting in his lap was comforting for some strange reason.

He reminded her how much he cared about her, and she was beginning to believe that he really did. If he didn't care about her, wouldn't he have left her by now?

"I'm getting the abortion," she finally announced. The words sounded so foreign and strange, especially since she wasn't planning on actually getting an abortion. She was hoping to fool him.

"Good baby," he said, wrapping his arms around her even tighter. "It's for the best. You wouldn't want some god'amned toddler running around. You're only seventeen, what would you do with a kid? We have our whole lives ahead of us-"

His words sent a shiver up her spine. She couldn't see her spending the rest of her life with him. She couldn't see her with him, period.

But there he was. Controlling her. Having her inhale the intoxicating scent of his cheap cologne and his sweater which still reeked of weed and tobacco.

She hated it when he smoked around her. It was so ironic. In his junior year, he wrote a speech on how horrible drug use amongst teens was and how teens were throwing their lives away. Now in his senior year, Mr. Jameson had experimented with more than his fair share of drugs and had turned into a chemically dependant asshole.

She wasn't sure what to think of their relationship. When she tried to think of what she would say to him to break things off and leave him for good, her knees would shake. He had too much power over her and there was nothing she could do to turn the tables. He had full court advantage and she was just his pawn that he could manipulate as much as he wanted.

He started to playfully punch her, and she tried to squirm out of his arms but it was no use. He was so strong.

"Stop it! You're actually hurting me," she said, and then immediately wished she hadn't said anything.

Darrel turned to face her, his eyes meeting hers, and he looked angry. "I can't play around with you for a bit? You're so fucking stiff Mer!" He continued to tickle her, and she whimpered in pain.

How much longer would she have to take his abuse?

*~*

Skyler couldn't wait until school was over. The classes never ended and the stupid teachers never ceased to stop talking, even when they acknowledged that 95% of the class was not paying attention to a word they were trying to communicate to them.

When fourth period Chemistry finally came to a felicitous end, Skyler ran out, sprinting towards the boys single gym change room.

It was the day that he was going to reveal what he had been hiding from his team for as long as he could remember. The horrible feeling of not feeling secure with his identity was at long last going to be set free. He was no longer going to be haunted by his sexual orientation, but rather he was finally going to let the secret that he had been keeping be exposed to a pack of self-proclaimed "macho" football players.

The majority of the football players on the team were not the stereotypical idiots that they appeared to be in Archie comics and chick flicks. Instead, most of them were individualists who had their own flair, personality and expression. But even still, Skyler knew that not many of them would be accepting.

Supposedly, when you are gay, you immediately come with the "gay disease." It's a pretty little package. Skyler knew all about it. Guys didn't like to be around other homosexual guys in fears that these guys would hit on them. He found it stupid. It wasn't like all straight guys hit on or were interested in every single girl they talked to. So why was it any different with gay guys?

But he was clensing his body and mind. He was at a point in his life where he didn't care anymore. Sadly, it took the death of one of his closest friends to realize this.

Why did it matter if he was gay? At least he was alive. Michael would never be able to talk to another person again. He was no longer apart of the living.

He entered the change room, and the smell of deoderant, and B.O was in the air, even before practice started.

*~*

"Guys, the game last week against Hagmar was something i never want to see again!" Coach Radsakis screamed at his beat and worn out team.

It was an hour into practice, with half an hour left and already they were so weary that the endless sloppy passes and interceptions were infinite.

"Palmer, that pitch out last game was fucking awful!" Radsakis yelled, at the worn out quarterback, whose face matched the bright shade of red on his jersey. "That pass to Matthews was so sloppy, it was as if you had never frigging thrown a football in your life before!"

Skyler sighed a breath of relief. At least he wasn't being penalized for not catching the sloppy pass. Skyler's position as a running back had been threatened by one of the freshman on the team, and he was worried that if he fucked up on easy plays like that, the freshman would take his place.

"Okay, guys we're going to run the play one more time and then it's ten laps around the track and you're done for today!"

The team took their places, ready to carry out the play. The Red Dog.

"Matthews, i wanna see you as linebacker for this one," Radsakis hollered.

Skyler groaned, wondering why Radsakis would decide to put so much pressure on him

The linebacker was in charge of pressuring the quarterback, in this case Ray Palmer, who was probably the quickest guy on the team.

Radsakis blew his whistle, and the play began. Skyler ran as fast as possible, and as soon as he passed the line of scrimmage, he knew that he would have to make the play count. He used all his inner strength and energy and tackled Palmer just before he was about to pass the ball out of desperation.

The guys cheered, clearly impressed at the play. Skyler smiled, but amidst the praise, he wondered how they would react after he told them. Would they still be impressed?

*~*

Entering the showers aftter ten treacherous laps, Skyler decided that it was time. He had to do it.

"Guys! I need to tell you something!"

Every single guy, drenched in sweat and mud that was standing in the change room turned to him.

"Skyler that play was fucking awesome!" Yelled out Jason Poland, who was just entering the changeroom.

The moment of serenity in the changeroom was broken as all the guys started to cheer and whistle.

Skyler groaned. It was just like Poland to do something like that.

"Guys shut up, the man's trying to speak!" Palmer yelled, and the silence was once again reunited with just the pants of the exhausted team.

Skyler took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Guys, I have something to tell you-"

"Fucking say it already!" Somebody yelled out.

His knees felt weak. "I don't know why I'm doing this now. Or here. But the point is, I'm doing it. I've been keeping something from all of you-"

He wondered what was going through the minds of his teammates. They probably thought that he was on some type of drug.

He looked into their curious faces, and stuttered for a split second before he let the words out.

"I-I'm gay."

You could have heard a pin drop. Nobody said a word for about five seconds. Then somebody laughed. He wasn't sure who, probably Larry Mitchell or one of his idiot sidekicks.

He grabbed his things, as the laughter started to catch on. He wasn't very hurt though. He was expecting immature reactions. He couldn't care less. Michael was gone. Fuck dignity. Nothing mattered anymore.

*~*

The instant Harley left her house, Vanilla fell back down on her bed and cursed at herself for a good minute. How could she face Allana?

And as if God was playing games, the phone rang forcing her to get up and face the reality of what had just happened.

It was Allana.

"Vill," she cried on the other line. "Can I come over?"

"Oh my god Allana, are you okay? What happened?"

"He broke up with me," she whimpered, making Vanilla feel worthless.

"Oh no," Vanilla said softly, faking her surprise. "Come over right now. Or wait do you want me to come over? If it's easier for you-"

"That would be nice," Allana said. "Thanks Vill, I knew i could always count on you."

Vanilla felt sick to her stomach.

Downstairs, Trent was tying up his shoes, and as she reached the foot of the stairs, she examined him.

Her brother was a pretty good looking guy, she couldn't argue with that. No wonder Skyler was head over heels for him. It still felt awkward to think that he was in love with HER brother. Out of all people, why HER brother?

"Where are you going?"She asked.

"I'm meeting Skyler-he wants to talk about something," her brother replied casually.

Vanilla's eyes bulged. Skyler was going to come out to her brother! If Trent only knew.

Trent didn't notice the alteration in her face. "What about you? What are your plans for today?"

"Going over to Lana's. She's upset, and I'm going to go try and make her feel better," Vanilla said, feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world.

If she thought Allana was upset now, she tried to picture how upset she would be if she found out about her and Harley.

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't tell her.

She and Harley would just have to remain esoteric. A secret.

~*~

Author's Notes: I'm back into the swing of things with this story. Yay! No more writer's block! So sorry about the two month wait guys. Thanks to all the people that read and review! Leave your comments please:)