pastryninja PM
My Stories . Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
3
Stranger Danger
A girl walks alone at night.Poetry: Life, T, English, Suspense & Crime, words: 166, favs: 3, 6/3/2017
2 Uterus, You Hurt Us
This entirely preventable affliction kills 830 women a day.Poetry: Politics, T, English, Horror, words: 53, favs: 2, 3/28/2017
1 Choke on This
Arachibutyrophobia: the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Ridiculous, right?Poetry: Life, T, English, Humor & Drama, words: 250, 2/8/2017
5 Splashing in Sanity
At the other cat's head tilt, Whiskers explained, "I'm going to become a fish."Fiction: Fable, K+, English, Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 6, 1/20/2017
2 Daphne Was Smart to Morph into a Tree
I have decided to become the opposite of Cupid: Cupidon't.Poetry: Love, T, English, Drama & Hurt/Comfort, words: 110, follows: 1, 2/23/2016
2Smoke and Mirrors
The problem with befriending a foreign magic-selling cat lady is that she'll be the primary suspect when the bubonic plague strikes your village.Fiction: Fantasy, T, English, Friendship & Drama, words: 4k+, follows: 1, 2/11/2016
3 Playing Duck, Duck, Goose on Hard Mode
When my brother was five, our mom told him to never go near a Canadian goose, *especially* the ones at the park, because they had nests to protect and contained all of Canada's rage that couldn't fit into hockey.Fiction: Biography, K+, English, Parody & Humor, words: 307, 1/18/2016
1 Only Our Mitochondria Matches
Did I steal your face or did you give it to me?Poetry: Family, K+, English, Angst & Hurt/Comfort, words: 140, favs: 3, 12/15/2015
5 Time Management? What's That?
If you don't write papers the morning they're due, then you're doing college wrong.Poetry: School, K+, English, Humor, words: 136, favs: 4, 11/22/2015
2 Meowch
Herein lies the ballad of Wanda Warlock, whom the Witch's Council did mock! But luck belongs to she who owns a cat's loyalty...Poetry: Fantasy, K+, English, Fantasy & Friendship, words: 328, 10/31/2015
8 Technically, Depression is the Real Monster
Jamie, the most emo and melodramatic teenager ever, sulkingly tags along on a trip to Camp Stabby Death. Will he save the day when a serial killer shows up? Or fall prey to a slasher cliche?Fiction: Humor, T, English, Parody & Horror, words: 890, favs: 2, 10/21/2015
10 Herbalize Me
Most girls want roses. I want weeds.Poetry: Nature, K, English, Romance, words: 115, favs: 8, follows: 1, 10/10/2015
5 Accessory to Murder
These fashion victims will teach you to never trust hats again.Poetry: Humor, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 147, favs: 2, 9/30/2015
2 Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Who gets into a brawl over *candy*? Seriously, guys, you're way too old for this.Fiction: General, T, English, Drama & Family, words: 1k+, 9/18/2015
4 Skybound
What happens when you fall up?Poetry: Fantasy, K+, English, Fantasy, words: 114, 9/14/2015
8 How to Save My Ass from the Dimension of Evil
Willa, if you've received this e-mail then that means I am currently trapped in the Dimension of Evil and need your help! Come to my lab RIGHT NOW. Yes, even if you are on your lunch break, and even if it's Taco Tuesday. Follow these instructions...Fiction: Humor, M, English, Parody & Sci-Fi, words: 743, favs: 3, 8/25/2015
6 Frenemy
Depression is a knife stuck in my heart.Poetry: Life, T, English, Drama & Angst, words: 128, favs: 3, 8/16/2015
5 Side Effects
My doctor said the pills would make me feel better.Poetry: General, T, English, Drama & Angst, words: 49, favs: 1, 7/31/2015
2 Why You Shouldn't Steal Your Roommate's Things
...or four ways to eat a cookie. Featuring a guilty cheater, a gross neckbeard, a tripping stoner, a cocky thief, and a stolen tub of chocolate chip cookies to die for.Fiction: General, T, English, Humor & Drama, words: 2k+, favs: 2, follows: 1, 6/10/2015