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David Macintyre PM
Joined Jan '02
I am David Macintyre. This is not my real name, but it's all you need to know.

I'm not an average author. I write what are known as 'darkfics'. Some people hate them, some people adore them just because of that. Those who see past the generic label and marks of the genre may find something that everyone can enjoy.

I write mostly for the area of Sonic the Hedgehog, and may be broadening into Resident Evil.

I am the kind of person who, if appointed head of Sonic Team, would turn the games into something less like Mario or Dragon Ball Z and into something more like Fight Club, Vanilla Sky or Memento (my three favorite movies), if that's any indication.

My favorite band, if I have one, is definitely Deftones.

I write what I think are 'real' stories. I define real stories as having:
1. A plot.
2. Character development.
3. Feeling.
4. A conclusion. Plot twists are a plus.
5. Things with summaries and a title, written by someone who uses a NAME.
An example of my work in this case: The Final Step.

I define 'n00b' stories, the kinds that really chap my ass, as:
1. Mishmashes of badly spelled words that sacrifice plot and development for dry, unintelligent jokes and slapstick.
2. Blatant, repetitive character moulds and clich├ęs that are never unique to their host.
3. Stories written by someone who obviously measures emotion by how heavy they crapped their pants laughing at their own childish jokes (feeling?????whats that lol rofl!!!!!!!)
4. The ones that get so many reviews from other 8-year-olds that a needless sequel is crapped out within a week or so, which is usually an even more godawful bucket of tripe.
5. Crap that says "I suck at summaries lol rofl just read it its really good PLEEEEEASSSEE review!!!!!!!!!!!!", with a title like "Sonics ultra way past cool mall addventure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" that are written by someone called "Soniclover692000" or "Bob, kidnahog from the future".
Example of my own work in this case: Kung Fused (exempt from rule #5.)

Finally I think one of the lower forms of n00bishness comes when you decide to rewrite (bastardize) a movie, book, game or otherwise but simply replace the character's names with "Sonic," "Tails", and etc. I've seen people who do NOTHING but this, and it just proves that some wannabe writers don't have an original bone in their body.

I suggest extreme caution when creating a fan character (for my own humble tips on this, see my tutorial at Stephen Zacharus' site the Graffiti Wall: ). Self insertion fics are dumb, end of story. The story itself could be good (Falconess' "An Author's Nightmare" for instance), but personally I think putting yourself into the story is immature and a bad idea. If you have to do it, make it metaphorical or symbolic or some shit. I'm gonna be quiet now so I don't look like an idiot.

That is all I have to say for the time being, I think. If you feel bored or want to yell at me for any reason, add me to MSN:

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear my shotgun calling.

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