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Satan's Little Helper
My Stories 29
2Loitering Only Summer in utopia: a slurpee, a well-kept front lawn, and a kid with hippie hair and a Philosophy. Most epiphanies happen under more duress.
Fiction: Young Adult, T, English, Poetry, words: 375, 9/1/2005
Three Layers of Laytex and a Gas Mask (and other rules of thumb). Kristen remembered reading about minimum wage despoilers of the service industry, and figured that the ammonia in a good piss would probably only serve to take the edge off whatever hellish corrosives went into the food alread
Fiction: Young Adult, T, English, Angst, words: 595, favs: 1, follows: 1, 9/1/2005
Cleaning Up Mafia-style. "You made a terrible protégé. Thank god. It'll make this far, far easier."
Fiction: Action, T, English, Drama, words: 415, 9/1/2005
1Untitled GlamRock Fic Jason Matte's not nearly goddamn old enough to have nostalgia, and when he has his way, he's not nearly sober enough to have regrets, either. But hell if that means he's going to be the one to avoid the confrontation. WIP, m/m, language (what did you ex
Fiction: Romance, M, English, Angst, words: 1k+, 9/1/2005
1Hamster Death Gulps Do the Caribbean When I asked my little brother to write me "a gripping summary," he wrote "GROPE" and left it at that. Suffice to say, it has a lot to do with alcohol and blue, and nothing at all to do with the Pope (though I find him oddly amusing as well).
Fiction: Humor, T, English, Horror & Angst, words: 831, 8/28/2005
2Accidental About a murder or so. Mafia-style. Written for thefirstline on LiveJournal (the profanity got great reviews).
Fiction: General, M, English, Drama & Suspense, words: 929, 8/26/2005
1The Hallmark Anarchist A third Christian the Atheist Holiday Production. Learn the truth about Dick Cheney's title role in "It's a Wonderful Life," Jesus candy canes, and peddling worthless crap at a Hallmark store. Because 5.25 an hour isn't exactly hush money.
Fiction: Humor, T, English, words: 1k+, 12/24/2004
41Christian Makes His Case » Christian is such a charming person, really. Criticism of faulty Christian theology, meaningless feel-good bullshit, and various rituals, symbols, euphemisms and widely accepted social values. Very much meant to be read by the other side.
Poetry: Religion, T, English, Humor & Parody, chapters: 3, words: 5k+, updated: 11/30/2004 published: 7/3/2003
4Ween A Trick-or-Treating story. Humor, gross immaturity, and a vague touch of slash. And candy and stupid costumes, naturally. Pathetically late, but somewhat appropriate nonetheless.
Fiction: General, T, English, words: 1k+, favs: 1, 11/23/2004
4Prerequisite (I go to a shrink, can I be a rockstar yet) I'm absolutely sure that with a Green Day style guitar riff and some distortion you could pull this off, and it would probably even be funny.
Poetry: Song, T, English, Humor, words: 265, favs: 1, 11/22/2004
14Godliness: Amoeba How well do you know this god you claim to emulate? How well do you remember your high school biology? How well do you know the idiocy that results from trying to believe in Evolution and the Bible at the same time? Serious premise; Stupid poem.
Poetry: Religion, T, English, Parody, words: 325, favs: 2, 8/29/2004
5Sanguinea's Crimson "Crimson the color of blood rocketed forth from her capillaries, scarleting the floor with its rubyness." Sanguinea loves her pointy caped avenger of life-liquid liberation. Intentional crapfic, with apologies to the .01% of cutting poems that are good.
Poetry: General, M, English, Angst & Parody, words: 608, favs: 1, 8/29/2004
9Musical Squirrels Or:"Cope with Life By Stabbing Your Standards Violently in the Face" When Michaela is musically abused by her DJ boyfriend at a school dance, she needs her friend Jessi to teach her a wide-spread survival skill: drastically lowered standards.
Fiction: Play, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 1k+, favs: 1, 2/19/2004
8Christian's Craptacular Christmas A 'Christian the Atheist' production. It's cynical, overcritical, slightly anarchist...gives you that warm fuzzy holiday feeling all over, doesn't it? Joy to the world.
Fiction: Humor, T, English, Angst & Humor, words: 830, 12/24/2003
7A Christmastime Conversion About the holiday season, and how it has helped me find my faith. It's kind of counterintuitive, but see it through.
Poetry: Religion, K+, English, Humor & Spiritual, words: 441, 12/20/2003
9A Parody of Work As opposed to a work of parody. The epitome of poetry: not only is it complete bullplop; it is actually written on the subject of bullplop. And it has two really awesome middle lines.
Poetry: Humor, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 176, favs: 1, 12/14/2003
5Wonderful Sarcasm! A 13-year old with an ..unique ..outlook on life recounts his encounters with idiocy of varying degree and nature within his wonderful suburb. Includes said idiots: getting lost in a sewer system, 'protecting extinct animals
Fiction: General, T, English, Humor & Angst, words: 1k+, 12/4/2003
8Death as a Spectator Sport Thesis: "Death is not only evolutionarily productive, but also highly entertaining." A 5-paragraph essay on death and its various forms. Written for school, counterintuitively enough.
Fiction: Essay, K+, English, Humor & Horror, words: 999, favs: 2, follows: 1, 11/12/2003
12Disappointment I'm a disappointment. And I'm ok with that. A poem about our society's expectations and drastically skewed perceptions of right and wrong. Social, religious, and sexual themes-rebellion and angst all around! Offensive to assholes.
Poetry: Life, M, English, Angst & Parody, words: 1k+, favs: 1, 10/20/2003
11We're Screwed, People We ARE! Accept it! We're all screwed, we always were, we always will be, and there's nothing to be done. There is no hope, there are no possibilities. We're just screwed, beyond any doubt.
Poetry: Religion, T, English, Angst & Humor, words: 264, 9/15/2003
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