My Stories . Bio Fav: Stories
2 Postcard Here's a single moment from the old continent; time slows down to a halt and each raindrop becomes a perfect translucent orb reflected in the pools of your dilated pupils. Take a picture.
Fiction: Essay, K, English, Spiritual & Poetry, words: 554, favs: 1, 6/11/2008
4 For Great Justice In which I put as many video game references into a paragraph as I reasonably can.
Fiction: Essay, K+, English, Humor & Parody, words: 1k+, favs: 2, 5/17/2008
4 Highway 61 Reconsidered In which I answer the question, "How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?" With all due apologies to Mr. Bob Dylan.
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 1k+, 5/17/2008
34Behind Blue Eyes » The ongoing saga of Durian Bloodgale's struggle against the forces of justice, peace and radical feminists. New title. New jokes. New entries. Formerly Confessions of a Lunatic Sorcerer. The song thing was stupid, so I got rid of it.
Fiction: Humor, T, English, Fantasy & Parody, chapters: 3, words: 2k+, favs: 8, follows: 1, updated: 11/12/2005 published: 8/21/2004
27Humor: How to make it suck less This is my indictment against the current state of humor. Rated T for vitriolic cruelty and copious swearing. Best of all, it's not a gay marriage essay.
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor & Tragedy, words: 1k+, favs: 11, 8/30/2005
15Impossible To Understand My foray into the world of modern poetry. Eat this Robert Pinsky.
Poetry: Humor, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 271, 2/4/2005
124Stupidity Must Be Some Kind of Chronic Illness Puberty does strange and mystifying things to teenagers, the least of which is dropping your intelligence to that of a tree stump. Why does this happen? Probably due to the bad chemicals. Rantish satire.
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 15, follows: 1, 9/11/2003
51Poignant Schoolish Commentary » *Part 2 Up* An extremely fractured take on modern high school. Chapter Two- How do you ace Chemistry? What do those weird trig symbols mean? I take a look at those stupid classes that piss me off. More hilarity than you can shake a stick at!
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor, chapters: 2, words: 5k+, favs: 8, follows: 2, updated: 9/6/2003 published: 4/23/2003
15A Little Political Commentary Political satire. California's recall election. A look at the candidates, their chances and numerous suggestions that may or may not make things better for California. Fun for the whole family!
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 1k+, 8/13/2003
60Webspeakers Should Be Executed » Chapter Two- Today I explore Leet-speak. What is leet-speak? And why does it suck so much?
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor, chapters: 2, words: 2k+, favs: 6, updated: 8/1/2003 published: 7/2/2003
41Stupid Punk Kids! I really hate little kids. They're like locusts, destroying everything that is good and true. Read on to find out why I hate them, and what I plan to do about them.
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor, words: 3k+, favs: 3, 6/28/2003
28Knocking On Heaven's Door Contrary to the title, this is actually about Harry Potter and how its copyright laws can be violated. Relax, it's not as bad as it sounds.
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor & Parody, words: 4k+, favs: 5, 6/11/2003
14Somewhat Whimsical » This is the stuff I think about when I have too much time, which unfortunately happens often. Written whenever I feel like it.
Fiction: Essay, T, English, Humor, chapters: 6, words: 3k+, favs: 2, updated: 4/16/2003 published: 3/19/2003
19One by One the Penguins Steal My Sanity » ***UPDATED*** Well, I said I wasn't gonna write any more, but lo and behold, a new pointless story in the continuing saga of those stupid penguins in my head! Sometimes I amaze even myself. More general stupidity abounds!
Fiction: Humor, K+, English, Humor, chapters: 2, words: 6k+, favs: 4, updated: 4/6/2003 published: 3/2/2003
10Pipe Dreams What do evil sorcerers think about when they die? Revenge? Cookies? My little story answers that question, and several others you may or may not have about the nature of evil magic.
Fiction: Humor, T, English, Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 5, 3/16/2003