Hello, then. I'm Disturbly. If you're reading this, you clicked on my profile. Duh, right? Some facts about me before we get to the main event:

Genre I write: Supernatural.

Genre I read: Anything and Everything.

Likes: Hunter S. Thompson, William Gibson, chain-smoking, Django Reinhardt, metal, blasphemy.

Dislikes: Most things.

Quote:

"White Lightning, Sugar Whiskey, Stump Pole, Skull Cracker/

Alley Bourbon, City Gin, Wild Cat, Block and Tackle/

that's how we do it, how we get it to the next level/

have us huntin' btches down, with a pickaxe and shovel.

-"Sippin'", Boondox.

Me in a nutshell. Now, onto my work.

"Strange and Senseless Wars": My best effort to date, and something of my magnum opus. If you haven't given it a read, might I humbly suggest you do? Know, however, that it's on indefinite hiatus at the moment; it will be continued, just... not now.

"A Battle in Edo": The reason I no longer get high and watch anime. Ignore this. Seriously; let's just skip to

DISTURBLY'S THREE-WAY CHALLENGE OF DOOM!!!

Ok, here's the premise; I have a lot of ideas, and I think I do a pretty good job of developing them; I own a keyboard, and have more free time than could remotely be considered healthy. So, what stops me from being prolific?

Simple: I lack perserverence, dedication, and staying power. I'm not likely to finish much that I start (except "SaSW"; have I plugged that yet? Was it a shameless plug? Yeah? Ok), so I want to be sure my best stories are my highest priorities. So how do I guage which ones are best? I can't; you'll have to do that.

That's the basic premise of the Three-Way Challenge of Doom; I've posted three stories simultaneously. All are supernatural, and all are written about female protagonists; the similarities stop there. Each one is distinct, with a different atmosphere and ambience I'm going for (I'm not pompous enough to use the term "theme"). Your mission, if you choose to accept it, gentle reader, is to decide which gets continued.

Two weeks from the date I post them, I'm going to count the reviews (I'll be lucky if I get one...); whatever the reading public wants me to continue, I will. And on the off chance it's a tie (say, no one reads any of them)? Then I'll continue the one I most feel like. It's a little bit "Acceptable TV", and a little bit "Thunderdome"; three stories are entered, one story stays. As for the others? I may delete them. Then again, I may not. Who knows?

Either way, the power is in your hands. If you read any of them, you may want to check out the others; just to know what you're voting for. I solemnly promise, whatever the consensus says is the best, that will be the one I continue. Unless I don't feel like it; I always keep my options open. But anyway, why don't we take a look at the contenders?

"Sophia Daniels and the Gospel of the Night": Sophia was finally living her dream, running her own private investigations firm with her precognitive partner, Nikita Taylor. But when a killer begins targetting vampires, Sophia's older sister among them, the women will find themselves drawn into a web of supernatural intrigue and danger.

Of the three way challenge, the only one written from first-person, and the only one to feature the undead. Just a little something I started to let off some steam while writing "SaSW". Vampires in the "Kincaid Universe" are pretty basic; no hynopsis, no flying, just machines that eat people. Also, in "SaSW", the supernatural community takes pains to live incognito among humans; I wanted to do more with vampires cast in a more traditional mold, with more of the myths and weaknesses of folklore. I also wanted to try something where the monsters were out in the open, a la Harris and Hamilton. This happened.

"Those Who Flirt With Spirits": When Kay tried to summon the entity at Dead Man's Crossing, she never thought it would answer her... Pretty simple premise, pretty simple inspiration. I'd been reading books on Satanism from my library; to my disappointment, they don't have much written from a sympathetic standpoint... But I did manage to come across the phrase "adolescent legend trip", which professionals use to describe a right of passage where teenagers test local legends about haunted sites by trying to provoke or call spirits, rites of passages whose aftermaths are often mistaken for sites of Satanic rituals. This melded with the scenes from a number of movies I've seen, along with a comment one Solemn Coyote makes on his profile, about how few authors write about the sympathetic demon, and I asked myself: "What if a kid tried this crap, and by random chance, it worked? And what if the demon in question was basically cool, or at least seemed that way..." Not much has happened yet, but I have ideas. A kind of modern day tale of the forbidden fruit, where a mortal is tempted by knowledge... I'll say this right now; I reserve the right to continue this regardless of it's response. They're my rules, I break them as I see fit. Oh, yeah; written from Third Person Omniscient.

"Orthodox Legends": Samantha Perry had just moved to Baltimore, but she was drawn by more than her new job. As the costumed super sleuth Valkyrie, she means to clean up the streets. But when she makes the acqaintance of an odd pair of heroes, her life takes a turn for the weird, even by the standards of a spandex-clad crime fighter. A super hero story, Disturbly style. Originally, this wasn't meant to be part of the three way challenge, but my original manga-inspired effort for this slot, "Blitzkrieg Dolls", was not coming along well... Unlike the other two contenders, I'm going to be posting the first two chapters of this simultaneously; it's necessary for the story. Again, I didn't initially consider this for the challenge, but I realized after writing it that it fit the bill quite nicely. It has too many elements of sci-fi for the fantasy section, and too many elements of fantasy for science fiction, so supernatural it is. The mood and atmosphere are at odds with the other two contenders, but on the other hand, I thought it good to showcase as broad a selection of my talents as possible. Let me know if you agree. Written from Third Person Limited.

And so, here we are. Three stories, many possibilities. Read and review, but more importantly, cast your vote. Again, the power is in your hands, and with great power, comes great responsibility. Or absolute corruption. You know, I don't think the experts have reached a consensus yet on that point...

Should you find anything of merit in my dark and terrible visions, and you've already checked out "Strange and Senseless Wars", know that there is another venue where Disturbly's work may be found; as of October, I'll be contributing to "Stop The Press", a newsletter run by 's very own Burnt Bread, that features witty, informative articles on writing fiction from some of the internet's best and brightest. I'm still not sure how I made the cut, actually... But anyway, give it a read, if you would. It's a great source of inspiration, entertainment, and a brilliant display of what I've come to term literary ninjutsu. Also, it's initials are the name of one of the band Sublime's better songs. You just can't lose, people!

-Disturbly.

Update- October 16/07

NOOOOO!

The Three Way Challenge is complete, and Goddamn Sophia Daniels is the winner. Seriously, I have no idea where I'm gonna take that one...

sigh

Oh, well. I said I'd continue the winner, and I will. I'll get on in a few days and update me profile and the introductory chapters of all three stories.

Stay tuned...