Just In
The Crazy Talk Kid PM
Joined Sep '07

Hello to all of my fans and people that are indifferent to me. To my enemies, I know where I live, so watch yourselves.

I encourage anybody that reads my stories to review with suggestions or praise, preferably praise, and I ask that reviewers keep flames down to a minimum.

Personal info: I'm age 222 because it's the new 666, I'm from the U.S., and my real name is (mumbles under breathe) and that is spelled with the e on the third of the month.

Likes: Anime, reviewers, tv, pizza, reading, kayaking, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Young Frankenstein, and Mt. Dew.

Dislikes: Quebec, people who discriminate against others, and the tv show Bonanza.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famously
erudite scientist and comic who once said:

"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by
exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us, to our
amazement and amusement.

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99 of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend...but she left me before we

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever...so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made
your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the

28 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.

29 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

30 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch

31 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to
be on it.

32 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

33 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your
headlights work?

1. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

2. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

3. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

4. Procrastinate Now!

5. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

6. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.


Author: Follow Favorite

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service