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Mo- The Reviewer PM
Joined Sep '09

Hey! I am Mo- The Reviewer.

I feel so special with the whole title thing. I am THE REVIEWER!!

I just prefer Mo... But the title feels so cool!!

Have no fear The Reviewer is here!!

Reviewing for FanFiction/FictionPress authors everywhere!

(Thanks for that rainbowstrike!)

That will never get old!

The difference between George Bush and George Of the Jungle is when you see the latter, you yell, ''Look out for that tree!'' but when you see the former, you yell, ''Look our for that shoe!''

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday

"You need to take care of yourself before everyone else. You can't do your best if you aren't at your best! Am I right, or am I right?!"

~Me (Mo)


~Me (Mo) (FYI: i mix things up a lot...)

"Great minds think alike. Better minds say it first."

~Me (Mo)


~Me (Mo) (Another one of my mix ups!)

"I practice awesomese- the ancient art of Awesome."

~Me (Mo)


~Me (Mo)

"Stalkers are very creepy. I would go as far as to call them creepish! But I'm not even that mean..."

~Me (Mo)

"Hey you turd! I'm hot!"

~Me (Mo) (LONG, HILARIOUS story!)

"Have you been high today?"

~Me (Mo) (Youtube videos are seriously amusing... xD)

"Do you what to know what is really sad? I can't open the child-safe lock thingy on my water bottle."

~Me (Mo) (This is sadly true... xD)

"There were the letters F and U written on the back of the chair in front of me, so I wrote the letter N next to them!"

~Me (Mo) and Alex

"Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it."

~AMD (my friend)

"I'm surprised I haven't broken yet."

~AMD (she wrote that on my mirror xD I'm not ugly or anothing, so it was funny!)

"Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer! GIRLY MAN!"

~Mags (Another HILARIOUS, LONG story)

"My loony bun is fine Benny Lava!"

~Vicks (yet ANOTHER LONG, HILARIOUS story!)

"...Wait... Were those flying LIPS?!"

~KK (They were leaves xDDD)


~KK and I (long story that i don't even remember anymore XD)

"Raw Pig Warning. Chocolate Mousse makes me cry."

~KK and I

Funny Story #1:

KK: So I wrote a list of my three favorite things in class today.

Me: What didcha write?

KK: 1) Chocolate 2)... (i can't remember the rest :S)

Me: Wait. So, I'm not on that list?!

KK: No, you're not one of my favorite things.

Me: Oh. So I'm not a favorite thing. I'm just a thing. That's great.

(hehe, i was messing with her! I knew she meant i was one of her favorite people :D)

Funny story #2:

Me: Hey look P! This word here -points to word 'Uf' in spanish book- means 'Yuck' or 'Ugh'!

P: Do you dare me to use it as my spanish name?!


P: -puts on name tags thingy with 'UF' written on it-

P: Hey look Mo! -turns name tag thingy backwards-

Me: -reads backwards name tag- Yeah...? All it says is "F-U" -realizes what was said and cover mouth with both hands-

P: -laughs-

(I didn't get it until I already said it out loud xDD)

Me and P: -Walk out of classroom-

Me and P: FU FU FU!!

KK: Hey Mo!

Me: FU FU!!

KK: -looks at me strangely- Okayyy... (she had NO IDEA what i was talking about XD)

Me and P: -Walk to our lockers-

P: Ya know, FuFu would be a cool name to have...

Me: YEAH! Like Little Bunny FooFoo!!

Me and P: -Breaks out into the song 'Little Bunny Foo Foo'-

Funny Story #3:

On IM...

Me: Yeah, I kno. But I'm allowed to be laxy today.

Me: Lazy!

Clara: You love typos don't you?

Me: No.

Me: They love me.

(hehe, i do typos a lot xDD)

Funny Story #4:

Me: UGOF! The pic won't send! Stupid computer. :(

Clara: Nah, it's 'cause I cancelled it. I already had that one.

Me: ohhh! Gotcha :) hehe

Clara: What does UGOF mean? Or did you mean UF?

Me: It was just a random noise that came out of my mouth when I read that.

Clara: Wow, I never thought humans could do sounds like that.

Me: Yeahh... Well... PSHAW!

Clara: Another random noise?

Me: hehe. I do that one a lot :)

Clara: xD

Me: It's like a 'Psh' but with an 'AW'.

(haha, IMing is soo much fun xD)

Funny Story #5:

Charlie: -runs towards all his wacko 'popular' friends that are girls (he is not our friend, FYI)- I don't have a pulse!

(we were running and had to take our pulses afterwards)

-Me and Gray look at each other weirdly-

Me: What? He has no pulse? What is he- a Vampire?!

Gray: Well... he did say he has no pulse...

Me: Huh. It's like: "I'm a VAMPIRE! RAWR!"

Gray: Rawr?

Me: Well... yeah... I couldn't think of anythinng else! What are they supposed to make? A cat hissing sound or something?!

Gray: YEAH! -Hiss like cat-

Me: Uh, no. I think it would be more like "I vwant to suck your bloooood!" but that is really creepy...

Gray and Me: Hmmmm...

Funny Story #6:

- Looks at line of dripped water on the sidewalk that is halfway down the block -

SaHa: Someone's tank was full.

Me: -Looks at the rest of the water line- VERY full...

Funny Story #7:

-- BACKGROUND INFO: In Science, we (meaning the whole class, including the teacher) always joke with this kid named Charlie (AKA "No pulse dude") --

Jessi: -Moves wiggly desk back and forth-

Teacher: Sorry Jessi! That desk always moves. I need to stick something under it...

Sam S.: Stick Charlie under it!

-whole class laughs-

Teacher: Chuckle, chuckle... (she actually spoke the words)

Sam S.: Chuckle, chuckle?!

-- Our Science and Social Studies classes are hilarious xD --

Funny Story #6:

Just: Don't touch that!

A: I can touch anything I want!

-- Stiffled chuckles --

A: ... I didn't mean it like that! You guys are nasty...

Mags: I wasn't laughing. I'm more mature than that.

Me: Coming from the person that was laughing acouple minutes ago about lawyers and their "duties/doodies".

Mags: Hey! That's not fair! That's a completely different situation!

Me: Suuure...

The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history tests. WATCH THE SPELLING. SOME OF THE BEST HUMOUR IS IN THE MIS-SPELLING!!

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out, 'Tee hee, Brutus.'

7. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

8. Queen Elizabeth was the 'Virgin Queen'. As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted, 'Hurray!'.

9. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

10. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

12. Writing at the same time as William Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, 'A horse divided against itself cannot stand.' Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practised on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro

if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your pro

if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your pro

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

(Be Afraid... Be very afraid...)

(Words of Wisdom: I LOVE quotes, especially funny ones, so I will be posting A LOT of them up here!)

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
Steve Martin

"I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden."

--Steve Martin

"We may not make good decisions

But hell, we make good stories."

-- Unknown

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."

-- Jonathan Carroll

“I have some advice to whoever said ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’: unless you have sugar and water, your lemonade is going to stink!”

-- Unknown (unknown author of fanfiction)

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
Bill Gates

"I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider."
Some random guy

(HEY! I resent that! Spiders are SCARY!)

"Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal"

-- E. Joseph Cossman

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
-- Jeff Marder

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
-- Bill Cosby

"Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"

-- Unknown

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

-- Unknown

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... If you happen to have excellent aim."

-- Alexa35 (author on FF. This is on her profile... yeah.)

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!"

-- Anonymous

"Two wrongs dont make a right, but they make a good excuse."
Thomas Stephen Szasz

"You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty."

-- Anonymous

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen

"Call me your valentine and I'll call you my punchbag."

--Silent Broken Heart (author on FF)

"At the top of the food chain sits chocolate."

(My best friend and her mom would agree with that!)

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

--Winston Churchill

"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
Mark Twain

"In three words i can sum up everything i have learned about life: it goes on."

--Robert Frost

"Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. "

(So true... so true...)

"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
Eleanor Roosevelt

"Lots of people will want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone that will ride the bus with you if the limo breaks down."

--Oprah Winfrey

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
Dr. Seuss

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean"

-- Bob Marley

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Albert Einstein


"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Albert Einstein

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein

(Tell that to my teachers...)

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."
Albert Einstein


"Never memorize something that you can look up."
Albert Einstein

(My teachers really need to take this advice!)

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

--Albert Einstein

"I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen."

--Steven Wright

"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'"

--Steven Wright

"If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"

--Steven Wright

"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark"

--Steven Wright

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
Lemony Snicket


"The moral of Snow White is never eat apples."
Lemony Snicket

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear."
Lemony Snicket

"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting."
Lemony Snicket

(again.. so true... sooo true...)

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
Lemony Snicket

"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another."
Lemony Snicket

"Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness."
Lemony Snicket

"It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself."
Lemony Snicket

"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."
Lemony Snicket

(Me too!)

"The sad truth is the truth is sad."
Lemony Snicket

"A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead."
Lemony Snicket

"One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends."
Lemony Snicket

"There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal."
Lemony Snicket

"A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded."
Lemony Snicket

"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "WEll this isn't to bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed" but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!""
Lemony Snicket

"Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?"
Lemony Snicket

"If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'."
Lemony Snicket

(I completely agree!)

"Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said."
Lemony Snicket

"Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours."
Lemony Snicket

"Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them, you'll find more than you ever imagined possible."
Lemony Snicket

If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball?

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. I am Weird and PROUD OF IT!

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with!

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Toes arent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts...)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Have you ever wondered...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
you call a girl that is named after her mother?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Bold the steriotypes that fit you:

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. (Note: I'm kinda Atheist, kinda not... idk!)
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.()
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be snobby.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs/nuts.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT ONLINE, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm A WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. and I MUST worship the devil.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I CRY EASILY, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DONT LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!


(I want to do some of these things REALLY badly!)

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!... Take me with you!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.”

-People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about- ;)

-It's pretty sad when you think about it. But I don't think about it-

-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway-

-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-

-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-

-If you can't hear my heartbeat ;; then you're too far away-

- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you."

According to Ronald Reagan, the scariest words are "I’m from the government, I’m here to help."


Maximum Ride, Darkest Powers, Mortal Instruments, Mediator, House of Night, Vampire Kisses, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Gallagher Girls, Uglies, Sweep/Wicca, Avalon, The Host, Savvy, Princess Ben, It's a Mall World After All, The Magyc Thief, How to be Popular, Warrior Princess, Peeps/Last Days, Alex Rider, Daniel X, Elsewhere, Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flammel, Every Sole a Star, Princess Academy, The Giver, Books of Bayern, The Hunger Games, and sooo many others. I'll put more names up later!

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Reviewing for FanFiction/FictionPress authors everywhere!

(I am telling you, it is so much like Superman, it's scary! Except.. well. I am a FEMALE. So... I more of the SuperWOMAN or Wonder WOMAN type.)

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