HIYA!! GUYS!!

Likes

Manga/Anima

Fantasy

Chocolate

Sweets

Ice creams

Legato from Defense Devil (cos he's the most awesome thing since smoked water)

Dislikes

Well they're too boring so I'm not going to bother putting it on here

Quotes because hey who doesn't love them!!!

'Guys are like rollarcoasters they either make you sick or they give you the thrill of your life'

'When I die I want to be buried face down so the rest of the world can kiss my ass!'

'Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance?'

'Girls are like phones we love to be talked to and held but press the wrong button and you'll be disconnected'

'Love is like a war; Easy to start, Hard to end, Impossible to forget'

'When you run into your ex; Keep running'

'I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me'

'Sometimes the truest love is to pick someone who has hurt you time and time again over someone who hasn't hurt you at all'

Tip 1: before you kiss her on her door-step, make sure her dad isn't watching so he can kill you'

'When your significant other asks if she looks fat in an outfit...simply smile grab a random dress and say "Not as fat as you look in this.'

'Nothing can be sweeter than two people eating a strawberry ice cream sitting beside the beach and gazing at the sunset.

'Behind every successful is a woman and behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman'

'A man owes his success to his first wife. And his second wife to his success'

'If you think i look good.. Imagine how i TASTE'

'Oh darling, your only thirteen. You should be blowing bubbles, not guys'

'That's funny cause, i never ever remember giving you a free-pass to ride my boyfriend'

'Where there's a will there's 500 relatives'

'Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving'

'Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

'Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

'I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash'

'Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

'Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

'You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

'Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

'Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

'Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

'My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

'Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

'Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

'A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

'You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

'It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

'Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

'It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

'There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it'

'It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another'

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory'

'The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think'

'Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. It's just yours that's stupid'

'There are no stupid questions, just stupid people'

'Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss'

'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.'

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button'

'Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery'

'Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils'

'What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come'

'Never got to a Doctor whose office plants have died'

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar'

'If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?'

'I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants'

'I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!'

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway'

'Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge'

'In God we trust; all others must pay cash'

'The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on'

'Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river'

'There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?'

YO' MAMA JOKES!!!!

Yo mama is so fat not even Naruto can believe it!

Yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scales it said 'bitch lose some weight'

Yo mama is so fat not even Dora can Explorer

Yo mama is so fat not even the Byakugan can see through her

Yo mama is so fat that it took a train and two buses just to get on her good side

Yo mama is so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell

Yo mama is so fat her BMI is measured in acres

Yo mama is so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone

Yo mama is so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama is so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama is so stupid she tried to put her m&ms in alphabetical order

Yo mama is so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view

Yo mama is so stupid she went to the orthodontist to get a blue tooth

Yo mama is so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and sleep on the floor

Yo mama is so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company

Yo mama is so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid

Yo mama is so greasy she sweats Crisco

Yo mama is so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.

Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.

Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.

Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

Yo mama has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.

Yo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.

Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.

Yo mama has so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

Yo mama has three fingers and a banjo.

Yo mama has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

Yo mama has a bald head with a part and sideburns.

Yo mama has a wooden leg with branches.

Yo mama has so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail

Yo mama is so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama is so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote

Yo mama is so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon

Yo mama head is so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow

Yo mama head is so small that she got her ear pierced and died

Yo mama is so bald, when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.

Yo mama is so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant.

Yo mama is so bald, when she goes to bed, her head slips off the pillow.

Yo mama is so bald even a wig wouldn't help

Yo mama is so bald you can see whats on her mind

Yo mama is so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed

Yo mama is so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie.

Yo mama is so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Yo mama is so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock

Yo mama is so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture

Yo mama is so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan

Yo mama is so nasty she made speed stick slow down.

Yo mama is so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.

Yo mama is so nasty she made right guard turn left.

Yo mama is so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

Yo mama is so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Yo mama is so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.

Yo mama is so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

Yo mama is so ugly she looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back

Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder looked at her and said "I CAN'T FIX THAT!"

Yo mama is so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama is so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo mama is so ugly she gave Freddie Kruger nightmares

Yo mama isso old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama is so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama is so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama is so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama is so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Yo mama is so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama is so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama is so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo mama is so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama isso old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook