Where should I start?
I live in a family of eight, and two of my siblings are adopted.
My best friend is like a sister to me- including the fights and days we don't talk.
I can act normal when I have too- but it kills me not to run around screaming random things.
I like Harvest Moon games for the Nintendo DS.
I play piano.
I love Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Sara Bareilles, Adele, Christina Perri, Maroon 5, Coldplay, Owl City, The Band Perry, Miranda Lambert, Miranda Lambert, Jason Mraz, Michael Buble, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, and some other Youtubers many of you would not know.
Their awesome usernames/real names are: Luke Conard, Meekakitty, Nigahiga, Julian Smith, FleurDeForce, Jeffery Dallas, Joey Graceffa, kevjumba, Tobuscus, and TheGridMonster.
As some of you may have already guessed, I love music.
I really want to go to Paris and Hawii.
My laptop has 3 keys that are partially broken. They are: j,k, and d.
My evil baby sister broke them because she is a devil.
I enjoy watching House of Anubis, Cake Boss, MythBusters, Dirty Jobs, and My Babysitter's a Vampire.
I like The Hunger Games Series, and I saw the midnight premiere with my bestie- and yes I did go to school the next day- NOT. FUN.
I read all the Percy Jackson books, I've almost finished the Kane Chronicle Series, I'm trying to read the Uglies before the library wants it back. I've read the Artemis Fowl Series almost all the way- a few more chapters of the last book and I'm done!
My family and I are Harry Potter freaks. We have every book, every movie, we've been to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and we have other books that have to do with Harry Potter.
My favorite color is neon green.
I've been to two Taylor Swift concerts.
Writing is what I do best.
I babysit to get money to spend the next day.
I'm allergic to cats, and yet I can only stand being around cats. Dogs- ew.
Things I am not to do at Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not attack my fellow classmates
51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area
Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google
Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7
Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns
Dear Impossible, Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater. Sincerely, Spongebob
Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!
Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing
I have a gun!... would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?
I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
"I dont suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder. Hey, I'm the one that pushed you!
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
"Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're shaper then knives."
"Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not very bright."
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I took the road less traveled... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I?
Always forgive your enemies: Nothing annoys them more
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do,kill me?"
IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Favorite PJO Quotes
Copy paste to your profile if you like them too!
“With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”
“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.”
“Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”
“Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will lose all.”
“Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related for better or for worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”
“It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.”
“How did you die?" "We er...drowned in a bathtub." "All three of you?" "It was a big bathtub.”
“The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us"
“Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.”
“Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”
“Where's the glory in repeating what others have done?”
“God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude! Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”
“She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.”
"The chains of death can only be be melted by the fire of life"
Amber: The bible says always be prepared Fabian: Amber, That's the boy scouts
Jerome: Oh, Speak of the devil, Literally, I'm surprised my phone didn't burst into flames. Alfie What does it say? Jerome: It's not repeatable...
Alfie: Falls out of chair in amazement *falls of chair*
Amber:Tut Tut Fabian Tut Tut.
Rufus Zeno: Are you insane? Eric Sweet: Yes, quite possibly
Patricia: Just girl stuff, For girls. I can be really girly at times.
Amber: I'm sorry for spending all my dad's money, and for giving Mara a hard time at elections, and for thinking about David Bechkam even though I KNOW he's Victoria's...
Patricia: You did really well, and you din't pee your pants. so...Bonus!
Fabian: Oh, this is the girls toliets. I can see that now.
Alfie: World domination to Victor is six billion people in bed by ten.
Victor: I want to see my face in that toliet. Alfie: I would love to see your face in the toliet.
Alfie: Toliet duty! This is the fifth time this term!
Amber: I know! How about we do a story about a young girl who loses her parents in mysterious circumstances when they steal some treasure from an Egyptian pyramid. And then the girl was taught by a weird guardian in a big old house! But then the guardian tries to stealthe treasure! And then the girl has to try to stop him. And then she gets help from some friends from the future. And they find the treasure. And the girl is really happy. And the friends are very rich. And they all live happily ever after. The end!
Amber: Well how do you know (talking about cat experimentation)? I mean, what if someone was trying to make something, like, I don't know. Just off the top of my head... An elixer of life or something. It was just something I read in a book, that's all.
Jerome: There's bad. There's really bad. There's completely soul-whitheringly bad. And then there's you.
Jerome: Oh no, not charity!
Amber: Victor doesn't have a cat. Nina: Tell that to his cat.
Amber: Frump. Freak. There are no words.
Amber: Oh yeah. I mean no, it wasn't her it was me. I love to steal keys.
Nina: Got it! Jerome: Got what? Fabian: Looks, brains, charms, you know. All those things you don't have Jerome. Jerome: *points with skeleton* your girlfriends looking for you Rutter.
Amber: What Mick? Trouble in Maradise? Oh my gosh, that was clever!
Amber: Why does the chosen day have to be the same day as our prom? The universe is so selfish sometimes.
Nina: Okay, ask me now, before there's an earthquake or a swarm of locusts or something that stops you from asking me!
Trudy: Victor stop! What are you doing? Victor: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm releasing an idiot.
Alfie: Welcome to WeLoveMara Land. Population: Jerome!
Fabian: Who are you going with Patricia? Patricia: I don't know, no one. Fabian: Good. Patricia: Good?! Fabian: No! Not good, I mean, good, because, someone might ask you. Ehhhh...
Jason Winkler: Do we have any ideas for Nina Jerome: ...girls in Bikinis? Jason Winkler: I'll just put that down as a general wardrobe note.
Jason Winkler: Your're insane! Rufus Zeno: Very observant, now go.
Fabian: Nina, Will you go to prom with me? Nina: Yes. Fabian: Yes. Yes?! Nina: Yes! Fabian: YES!
Patricia: Adorable, Now I'm starving. Nina: Fabian just asked me to be his date for prom. Patricia: No Way! I thought I was supposed to be going with Fabian! Nina: Oh... Patrica: Haha!
Fabian: You look- Nina: Ridiculous. I know. Fabian: I was going to say beautiful.
Nina: Whoa, is it hot in here?
Fabian: This is my signed copy of Solar System is your Friend!
Amber: Do you think she really saw a G-O-S-T?
Jason: I'm worried about you. Patricia: Yeah, well, join the club. I'm worried about me too!
Fabian: What was that? Nina: I don't know but it was way creepier than I was hoping. Fabian: It sounded like a voice. Nina: Yeah, a voice. Or a moan. A deathbed moan. Of someone who really doesn't want to die. Fabian: Well, that's...descriptive.
Alfie: And then there was the time Jerome stole Mrs. Andrew's scarf because it smelled of her perfume and snuggled up in bed with it because he was missing his mum.
Jason Winkler: Mara and Jerome, great acting, yeah. You could almost feel the hatred.
Amber: Mick and I have got ten of them already. He's so sweet. He lets me hang onto them, but I know he loves them.
Fabian: I would tell you, Amber, but I'm sure you'll make up something anyways.
Patricia: Everyone thinks I'm crazy. Even I think I'm crazy.
Amber: What are you hiding? Tell me, or I'll go to Mr. Sweet and tell him that you're doing something weird and I don't know what it is. Or something.
Amber: I'll take it to the grave. I never tell a secret.
Fabian: I can't believe you told Amber. She has a mouth the size of a...black hole.
Fabian: Sshhh! Amber, what are you doing here? And what's with the heels? Amber: I didn't want to miss out on anything, and these are my lucky heels. Fabian: Why aren't you wearing them? Amber: I can't actually run away in them.
Fabian: Amber, what's with the cloves of garlic? This isn't Twilight!
Amber: Hello Trudy. Ice cream, brownies, yum yum. Victor: Yes, unlike you, Miss. Millington. I wasn't born yesterday. Now, what are you doing? Amber: I'm starving and i don't care about your stupid rules! I'm on a fridge raid!
I saw this on another profile and thought it was funny, so I decided to give it a go.
I pulled the names out of a hat by random, and I'm following the questions that the other person gave.
Would 5 and 7 make a good couple?
Jerome and Alfie... Hmmmmm... Ok... So... Maybe they are best friends... But Jerome is always pranking Alfie... And I don't think they are going to go gay... So...NEO!
What if 7 ate 9?
Alfie ate Patricia... Haha... Not likely... If Alfie tried to... Patricia would punch him... Maybe maim him... I don't know. But Alfie wouldn't come out as good as he was before.
Do 12 and 3 have a future?
Mara and Joy... Mara is a goody-two shoes who would never turn lesbo, and no one in their right or wrong mind would date Joy because she sucks! So... NEO!
If 9 saw 4 kiss 11, what would 9 do?
If Patricia saw Amber kiss Trudy... She would probably yell, "EW! WEIRDOS!" and run away...
3 and 6 get married, but don't invite 2, 12, or 10, what happens?
Joy and Victor get married... First of all... NOT LIKELY! Ok... So maybe they are the most evilest people on the earth... But they turn nice kinda in the end... Ok so let's pretend they do get married... and don't invite Nina, Mara, or Eddie. Nina won't care because Joy sucks and Joy is a good for nothing boyfriend stealer. Mara would probably cry because she's so sensitive. Eddie would probably crash the wedding, steal the cake, and go home happy.
1 and 8 decide to hate eachother... ????
Fabian and Mick decide to hate each other... Well... Mick is an athlete and Fabian is a geek... So... All I have to say is... Fabian... Run.
11 and 6 break up, what happens?
Trudy and Victor break up... Victor would tell all his sob stories to Cobier, and Trudy would bake a trillion cakes to get over their each other.
"Old aunts used to come to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs, and cackle "YOU'RE NEXT!" They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals."
Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
96 out of 100 teenage girls would have a heart attack if they saw Edward Cullen on the edge of a tall building about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 4 who would yell, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick him off yourself.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandpa, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
It's only funny until someone gets hurt...THEN IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS.
You gotta kiss many frogs before you find your pig.
I once thought I was wrong...But I was mistaken.
I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what people wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you're wondering as you wonder what I'm wondering, if, of course, you're even wondering what I'm wondering.
Hm, I wonder...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(A bit late, don't ya think?!).
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(No shit, Sherlock).
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe...Oh, I dunno... Fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.
Remember, you're not an ugly person, you're a BEAUTIFUL monkey. Don't you forget it, now.